I'm still not sure if my mom has dementia but she started showing serious signs last week. I live with my mom and she was a tough lady before last week. I took her to the doctor and they believe she might have had a stroke and she's just feeling the after effects (brain failure). They were more concerned for her blood sugar levels than her sanity but I learned that blood sugar can effect the brain.
Anyway, as her behavior started to decline to forgetfulness and memory loss I've begin taking preventative measures. I've taken away her old cell phones and tablets to prevent random downloads. I turn off the gas main when leaving the house after the last three fire alarm scares. I've also simplified her phone though not entirely (I'm working out the kinks).
Is there anything else I may be forgetting?
As many times as we have told Mother not to give the dog certain foods, she does. Sometimes this is done on the sly and sometimes she just forgets.
I have told her several times not to give him grapes or raisins, "because they are toxic to dogs and he can become fatally ill."
Of course her answer is, "I know."
I finally just stopped bringing home grapes or oatmeal raisin cookies because she always wants to share with the dog.
I mean, it's one thing for her to kill my orchids by over watering. I don't need her to accidentally kill my dog with a raisin.
"I have a lot of help with this." YAY!
"...he can sometimes sneak by us if we're distracted." Toddlers are good at this too!
"We have a simple, pull string type childrens music toy attached to the top of the door that leads outside and if the door is open the string is pulled and we can all hear the music so we know he's leaving..." AWESOME!! Good old Yankee ingenuity!!!
"Vehicle keys are kept under lock and keys." Where do you keep the keys for the keys? I should think the music toy would be first line of defense there, but he could snag keys and hide them too if left out!
"Each of my adult kids has a locking bedroom door which they keep locked ..." Privacy AND protects their possessions!
"...we store all vitamins, meds and dangerous items behind locked doors." YAY!
"We have allotted him a kitchen cabinet that we store all his snack items and his favorite plates cups flatware etc. We put his photo on it and he really likes being able to go there and get whatever he likes, whenever he likes." THAT is another awesome idea!!!
"We keep a measured amount of liquid soap, shampoo etc in the bathroom because he still bathes himself and this keeps him from overdoing it with the suds and flooding the whole bathroom." Ummm, even with a way to restrict the amount of water used, he could still flood the bathroom...
"The bathroom door lock is an easy pop lock so if he gets locked in we can just pop it open with an ice pick." All bath doors (really any interior door) should be this type. A child can lock his/herself into a room easily! I am replacing the bath ones in this house as they are some butt-fangled type that lock depending on how you handle the handle (I still haven't figured that one out, lock myself IN and I HATE the damn thing!)
"The bathroom is all tile with non slip pads. The pads can just be pulled up and washed and the tile cleaned easily when he has those moments where he's "playfully" spraying pee all over the bathroom like a toddler." OMG, I was glad I was not eating or drinking when I read this one!!!!!
"If I ever remodel I will have a floor drain put in." Probably a good idea, but might not look very nice...
"He became obsessed with putting things down the in sink garbage disposal so we finally just had it taken out. I was concerned that he would seriously hurt himself if we left it in." Haven't had one of those, so never considered that, but yeah, either disable it or get rid of it - better to live without it than without a hand!!!!
"We bought him shoes that have velcro, zippered clothing instead of buttons etc." Good idea, even for anyone who has manual dexterity issues.
"We "story" him when guests are coming. Showing him photos and reminding hims who people are and something about them. Sometimes he can retain enough so that he's not so frightened when we have visitors." Sometimes... I do show mom pix of my grandson - she likes seeing them, but even having pix in her room she still doesn't recall who's kid it is. Asks every time, but that's okay. Just being there and showing pictures can likely keep some memories alive. Doing Xmas cards with her, I had some for my younger brother's daughters. She had no clue who they were, even though they are almost 20 years younger than my kids and lived nearby so she DOTED on them big time!! I had their mother send me pix, so I could try to keep them in mom's memory (don't think brother visits much and likely never talks about them or shows pix.)
"Basically toddler proofing is the idea with the added access the toddler were have if taller." - Yup!! Kinda goes with taking mom to appointments. I get there, she starts with the 'I don't want to go', 'Why do I have to go?', 'I don't need it, I am fine.' and 'Do I have to go?' That's when I pull mom-rank and say put your coat on and let's go.
Gads! Imagine if toddlers were born adult sized!!!! 8^O
Also, we have taken 100% of the financial stuff as our responsibility. She wasn't keeping track of what had already been paid for, and no longer has a good sense of what is actually needed. She was also VERY susceptible to a slick sales pitch and even to scammers. So we process all the mail, pay all the bills and check her email and other messages for signs of scammers and "buy stuff" messages.
Microwave - again, unless it is really ancient, they have a safety lock built in! I learned about this when told that mom "locked" her microwave and brother had to "fix" it. My new washer/dryer came with this feature as well (and I use it so the cats are not turning them on when jumping up on them!) Press the STOP/CANCEL button for about 3 seconds to lock or unlock.
Others mentioned the child safety locks - for cabinets and doors. Lock any rooms to prevent access, such as laundry rooms. I would keep all small appliances in the cabinets when not in use. Toasters and coffee makers can start fires too! You might want to consider the outlet plug covers (help prevent them putting bad items into unused outlets.)
Cameras for monitoring can be helpful - we had some to monitor outside/inside the main door and the basement area, just to keep a remote "eye" on mom (or anyone coming there!) We couldn't see everything, but she was not too bad at that point.
Once anyone gets to a certain point, such as those mentioned here, I would not be okay with leaving them unattended, even if it is just to run to the store for milk. Think 2 year old - would you leave them alone sleeping while you run a quick errand? Mom was not that bad yet, but we have no way of knowing when the next shoe will drop, so we had to make that decision to move her to a safe place before she became a hazard to herself.
Secure medication.
Turn off gas main.
Install elder handle on tub/shower/toilet
She is no longer acting her physical age, but a 2 year old.
Lock down her finances. She's vulnerable to scammers and her own bad judgement.
Invest in some 'smart home' technology to keep an eye on things when mom is home and you're not; a doorbell that alerts you when someone visits and shows you the visitor, a device that lets you do a video call with mom, smart plugs that let you log on to make sure things are on or off as they should be...
And, again, start looking for a community. The symptoms get worse.
I get grossed out and start running the vinegar through the machine to clean it and I tell her I will make her coffee for her.
Now she can’t do anything for herself and I do everything anyway but I hated when she wouldn’t totally wash out the cup, refill with water and dump it in the keurig.
Still, I know that she wanted to have some independence. So it really isn’t a reason to be upset with her. Pick battles, right? This wasn’t worth a battle.
I have a book in my office that is a bit dated but dealt with home safety issues for people with dementia.
Not having read other comments thus far, will say that we had a knox box lock box installed by our fire dept on the outside of our house...only they have the key; the box holds keys to your house so in an emergency they get in faster without busting doors and windows.
That must be such a drag with the gas..would you want to consider a switch to electric so you can just pull the knobs?
Don't forget the microwave if you have one...put it on child mode.
Any risk of wandering?
The local Alzheimer's assn may have a list of safety things you can look out for.
Also check your smoke alarm & co2 detector just in case - anything that you would put in place for a 2 year old is a good start - good luck
Last night at 11pm, the police showed up at the house. "Is everything okay? We received a hang up 911 call from this address."
There are some really good ideas to keep in mind here.
Get her checked and keep an eye on it, incontinence is a huge factor for causing UTIs.
A few of the things I've done is... One, I installed automatic faucets. After the second time grandma overflowed the sink by sticking a rubber basin over the sink and walking away with the water running, I decided to deal with it once and for all. You don't even need any plumbing skills. There are screw on devices that replace the aerator that turn it into a automatic faucet just like at public restrooms.
Two, I installed rails all around the house for fall prevention. It's exactly like it sounds. I put rails on every wall so when the refuse to use a walker, there's always a rail at hand. It wasn't that hard to do. I did have to figure out how to make sections quick removable so that I could open up cabinets.
Three, I've rigged the kitchen to avoid burning down the house. Once again, it was grandma. She decided to make soup at 3am but forgot all about it and went back to her room. I woke up to the smoke detector. So I replaced the regular stove with an induction unit. Not only are they safer since they don't get hot, but they will detect overheat conditions and shut themselves down. You can also set up appliances to go off automatically if they detect that no one is standing there after a few minutes. So if there's no one in the kitchen they will shut themselves off.
If you are the one who will have to assist her, ask for a "hat" or buy one. It sits on the toilet seat. They pee in it and then you just pour it into the jar they give you.
Did they do any bloodwork on Mom? If not, she should have a work up. An MRI or Catscan will show if she had a stroke.