My father got paralysis attack last nov but now he is improving but his behaviour is getting worst on daily basis. He is highly egoistic person &he want his work to be done at any cost he just order anytime for anything & it should be done else he will start using abusive language start showing down & make you feel that he is right. He call his friends & order them to do some work n if they don' t do than first he start giving them miss calls as reminder but then also no reply than call them & start crying n even after that also someone say no than he start insulting them by shouting in front of others.His left is just paralyzed which now mostly active other than his hand but than also he just sit at one place and shout & if anyone come and ask him to walk he will abuse them he just eat to make you feel that you are doing something wrong with him.Another side of the story is which we got to know now that he like our maid servant(as my mother passed away last week)who work at our native place & when we checked his bank account he has spend 50k per month on that lady & when we checked all account transaction my father has transferred very high amount to him. Currently since last 4 months my father has not paid her so, can you believe there is no call no text. She is the culprit to damage my father but at last minute we reached our native place & we got full story. Now my father want to go back to her when he cannot walk on his own even cannot go to loo on his own & daily he abuse shout on us to send him back but how should we....please advise to make my father back to normal & make his realise that we are his real family.
Nowadays he beat us in case we go near him he don't want to take bath in case we force then we have to listen alot. He spread so much negativity that me my family is going in depression. I feel like crying every time please advise how to bring my life normal. We cannot leave my father alone at native place also we cannot leave else where.
Are there care centers where he could get the attention he needs, where you could visit him, but where you would not have to be responsible for all of his needs?
"Right Hemisphere Left-sided Hemiparesis : Left-sided hemiparesis results from injury to the right side of the brain, which controls the process of how we learn, nonverbal communication and certain types of behavior. Stroke survivors with damage to the right side of the brain may also have trouble with memory and attention span, and may talk excessively."
For my father we have have appointed best neurologist who has his own team which has physiotherapist/ physician/dietician. So, doctor has appointed 2 physiotherapist who come daily for his exercise due to which in 4 month of time he is able to sit on his own & able to walk but with support. There are few medicines given to control his anxiety but those are impacting the flexibility of damaged muscles so they were stopped soon. Just to understand his behaviour we took him to psychiatrist who studied him in very detailed & concluded that he is absolutely fine just mentioned that he need s** & asked to change few medicine which we changed after consulting his neurologist.Than we took him to counselling centre but there he started misbehaving he said I know everything & don't want to learn from anyone same old ego& we were send back. We consulted another neurologist also just to cross check & get another opinion but from there also we got same reply. Sir/Mam that what I am trying to tell that he is improving a lot but only physically & for mentally, doctor has done the MRI thrice &they have mentioned only one thing that he is perfectly fine. He is just playing games with us for his own enjoyment & which he use to play since our childhood. He was in transferable job every time he never stayed with us for long span just one week or max 15 days. In my collage days, I have seen big fights at home & after our marriage we just go n meet him for 1 week or else he comes down to our place for1 week only not more than that.We are not aware of his nature completely but now when he is dependent we are seeing his true nature that he cannot live in family because he cannot respect them.
Currently our situation is we cannot leave him as he is alone & we cannot keep him as he is not ready to accept us as family.
As for Dad's behavior, I know from 20+ years in the medical field that when people have things like this happen to them that cause a once independent person to rely on others, it can cause a lot of emotional issues for them. They experience a sudden and significant loss of control over their lives. I wonder if some of Dad's behavior comes from feeling this loss of control over his life so now he's trying to exert control whenever and wherever he can.
When I work with patients, I try to give them a sense of control at every opportunity by letting them make choices whenever possible. Whether it's what to eat, what to wear, when to brush their teeth, when to take a shower, etc. Let him make choices.
I do think you need to get him to a doctor though, one who will look into his behavior problems deeply enough to find an answer.
Best of luck to you.
Has a brain scan been done? Have lab tests been run to see if there is a chemical imbalance in his body? He needs to be evaluated so that medications can be prescribed to help him calm down.
Meanwhile, you should consult an attorney and find out what rights the family has in this situation. Also it would be good to learn if the maid can be prosecuted for fraud and/or elder abuse.
Perhaps your father will continue to recover from the paralysis attack. But at the moment he seems to be incompetent to handle his own affairs. Please keep trying until you find help and get results.
Blessings to you, your father and all concerned in this challenging situation. I hope this will be resolved soon with all parties benefiting.