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Thank you for the reply. At 72 and in good health I doubt if you will need Medicaid for LTC in the next 5 years. I am not sure how Trusts work but since you just have the one Grandson I would put whatever I could into a Trust for him with the stipulation that the funds would be first used for your care and what remains goes to him. I am not saying to do this to protect your assets from Medicaid but so grandson will not have to probate your estate. If he is a beneficiary to what you have, no probate. Lets say you have a house. You can set that up as a life estate. I think thats turning the house over to him now but you can live there till u pass. You pay the bills, taxes and upkeep. When u pass the house reverts to him, no probate. You can have your bank accts Pay upon death, that makes him a beneficiary. If you have a Life Insurance Policy, makes sure you change the benificiary if its your husband. Prepay your funeral and leave instructions with the Funeral Director and give a copy to grandson, u having a copy in ur files. We have investments and the girls are beneficiaries. All they will need to do is see our guy and the money will be turned over to them, no probate.

If you can do as much now as u can, then being a POA is much easier. POA will not kick in unless you are found not competent to make informed decisions. It will be a great tool for your grandson when needed. Hopefully, that won't be for years and he will be much older. May be it will never become effective.

An elder lawyer well versed in Medicaid can help you understand and set things up. You may want to include grandson so he has an idea how it all will work. It also needs to be explained to him what being a POA entails. What he can and can't do.
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Grant your POA to someone considerably younger than you are. Have a back-up person (or two) as well, and consider naming a bank for the financial POA after your grandson. Be sure to talk to your grandson in advance of naming him to any job, because some people just don't want the task. On the other hand, he may be happy to take on the responsibility. Be sure YOU trust him, though.

I agree with those who suggest you move to a place with continuing care before you need it. That doesn't mean you need to do it today, but have it in your plans in the next 3-5 years.
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Healthcare directives - make sure your PCP has a copy on file, and keep a copy of your own in a tub in the fridge with a notice on the door directing paramedics and similar to it. You can buy containers specifically for the purpose, I believe.

Will - if your estate is straightforward, and assuming he's pretty much the sole beneficiary, make your grandson your executor and then why should he mind the work?

Springing DPOA, just in case you do go off your trolley (it may never happen, in which case the document gathers dust and bothers nobody) - this is a job for your lawyer, and again I can't see why a lawyer would object. They do charge a fee, of course.

I'm so sorry for your multiple losses. Never mind the admin, if you're finding the world in general a cold and lonely place that might be a very good reason to consider selling up and buying into a retirement community instead.
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A really good question. The best answer is probably the least reasonable answer. Have a lot of money. My father's later years were immeasurably easier for us to manage because he had a lot of money stashed.

Seventy-two is not that old anymore as long as you have good genes and take care of yourself, but if it appeals to you and you can afford it a retirement community with graduated assisted care may be a great idea. Take the time to visit, look around, talk to other residents.

Right now is a good time to make sure all your estate documents are in order. If you do have an estate plan, review it to make sure it's up to date. Check any assets that name beneficiaries to make sure that they are still living. An estate plan includes a will, advance directives, and assigning durable medical and financial powers of attorney to a trustworthy person.

Think long and hard about the person to whom you want to grant durable medical and financial powers of attorney. Work with a trust and estate attorney to sort this out if you really don't have anyone in your life willing to serve as an agent. State laws vary, but a "person" can be, among other things, a commercial institution.
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I am 75, no children, one brother, who I am close with. I would never expect him to care for me.

Right now, I am just fine, can do everything I did 20 years ago, just slower! When the time comes I will go into IL and move up to whatever care I need after that.

By going into a senior living place now you will already have handled one of the big decisions.

Personally, I would ask your grandson to hold your Durable POA, or a close friend. An attorney would be my very last choice.


All legal documents are in place, and I will update as needed.
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I don't understand the question because at 72, other than cousins, my DH (75) and I have outlived our Parents and Aunts and Uncles. Our siblings live as far as 18 hrs away. Our cousins, not too many live near by.

Your profile says you are caring for your 84 yr old husband. What are you looking for? Do you feel that if you had relatives they would have helped with DHs care? It probably would not have happened. At this point of your life you only have you.

You and DH need POAs in place. You need to have advanced health directives in place. If your home in getting too much, great time to sell. Put the proceeds away and use them to offset the cost of a nice apt or as suggested, invest in a Senior Community where there is independent living, Asst Living and LTC.

Really, need more info on what ur looking for.
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Dsturgeon Jul 24, 2022
Dear JoAnn,
I’ll try to clarify my question. My husband has passed. My children have passed. Who should I trust to help me with my Will, advanced directives, etc. I’m assuming a good friend or an attorney. Neither of which are jumping with joy to honor this position. I do have a Will in place. The only living relative is my Grandson. In which I’d rather not burden him.
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Sell your home and move into a senior continuum of care community before you NEED to move into one. Start out in Independent Living, then move into Assisted Living if/when needed, then Skilled Nursing if needed. I don't know of anyone who relies on 'relatives' to care for them in their old age anyway, because all the siblings would be too old to do such a thing! My mother was the last man standing out of 8, and lived in AL and then Memory Care AL until she died at 95. My folks sold their home and moved into senior living which was the best idea, really.

Good luck.
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Make sure you have all your legal ducks in a row: do you have a willing, able, local and young DPoA assigned? Have you created an Advance Healthcare Directive and Will? Do you have a Medical Representative for when going to doctor appointmetns may have complicated therapy instructions?

Be intentional about making new friends. Volunteering can do this, but also gives your life purpose and meaning. Take a chance and experience and learn new things. Mostly, relationships and being with people is what brings joy to life.

"Dying" in your own home isn't all it's cracked up to be because it's usually preceded by time and money investment for upkeep and maintenance. Often, people are isolating themselves just to be "independent" but they're really not once they can't afford the home upkeep or need help mowing the yard, etc. It's stressful and pointless, IMHO.

Consider moving to a seniors only community like KathleenQ suggested. Downsize before you're forced to in a crisis (or someone else has to do it for you). Tour and choose a facility where you can go when you begin to need AL (and make sure you talk to a financial planner to make sure you can afford it and for how long). ALso talk to a Medicaid Planner -- even if you think you'll "never" need it. You'd be surprised to find out how many responsible people wind up needing it.
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PinkCakeBlue Aug 1, 2022
God bless you!
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72 is still pretty young these days. Does she have friends? You only mention relatives. How about contacting the local senior center. They often have activities geared toward seniors and would give her a chance to make friends.
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PinkCakeBlue Aug 1, 2022
I second this!
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