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My ex-husband fell and fractured his T9-10 and after a long litany of complications is at the very least temporarily paralyzed. He is 50 with multiple health conditions. He was living independently before but barely able to take care of his medical needs. We know he will be transferred to a SNF next week, but wondering what we should expect from a SNF? Assuming he doesn't regain function (they cannot tell us whether he will or not), when would they get him a chair and determine what type of chair he would need? What happens after SNF? Is SNF synonymous with Nursing Home? His family is willing to support him with needs but not able to be caretakers, so he will not be living with any of us.

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This advice does not pertain to placement, but rather to any time he is with you.
It's important to remember that he will not have normal sensation in his hips or anywhere in his lower body. So any time you are with him, you must be especially careful that he frequently shifts his position. His skin can easily break down on areas that get pressure from the chair or bed and form a sore open to infection. Position changes or weight shifts should be made, with your help, as often as every hour at first. Even minor shifts of weight in a chair can help. Use pillow(s) to pad and protect as necessary,
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Perhaps you haven’t had a lot of experience with paraplegics. I’ve worked with several friends, including managers of substantial welfare organisations. I’d suggest you wait and see how things progress, before you get too involved.

Where I am, the person would be in hospital while the accident injuries heal, and would then be transferred to a center specifically for paras. There they would learn how to cope with continence issues, helped to build upper body strength so that they can move themselves to and from their wheelchair, and experiment to find wheelchair and other aids would be needed for them to cope with living independently. They would often stay in that centre for about 3 months. Once in independent living, they might have a carer for an hour or so to help them get up and get going in the morning, and there are transport options for most situations. Otherwise they cope pretty well.

The guys who have the most troubles are bikies without much interest in reading. Paras of both sexes tend to learn a range of wheelchair sports, and to build on any upper-body skills they have that can lead to employment. Learning a musical instrument can help, too. More intellectual paras have more options, reading based. Sex is often an issue, as the brain works even when the lower bits don’t. There are actually sex workers who make this a specialty.

The professionals will know far more than you about the normal progression and normal options. Stressing independence is often more important than family ‘support’. Your + ex’s daughters are probably in their 20s, give or take a bit, and they should be able to provide the personal support that would help.

Unless you and your ex are regretting the break-up, I’d suggest that you don’t take on more responsibilities than are helpful in the longer term. Just wait until you can see that something you can do would be an advantage you can easily cope with. Best wishes to all involved, Margaret
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ccpippins: I am very sorry that your ex husband is temporarily paralyzed after a fall. Considering his young age, perhaps he will recover to some extent. He needs to have rehabilitation for a chance TO recover, even partially. Yes, SNF equates to Skilled Nursing Facility. Prayers sent.
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Expect nothing............."one day at a time" will give you time to contact resources and specialists.

Google "paraplegic resources."
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Its nice as an ex to be there but do not take on the responsibility for his care. Your an ex for a reason. Let his family help him.

If by SNF you mean Rehab he should have therapy to teach him how to do for himself. Rehab will help determine if he will need to remain in SN or can be on his own with some help. All your questions cannot be answered until PT sees how much he is capable of. He needs to be determined to do the best he can. His outlook will determine how he recovers.
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ccpippins Mar 2023
No one is willing to take on the responsibility for his care, he will probably live in at least assisted living for the rest of his life but that is the reality of it. I will be assisting our daughters to make sure his medical needs are taken care of but that is about it.
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Is his upper half ok? People lead full, productive, and active lives in wheelchairs. As he’s only 50 don’t count him out yet.
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ccpippins Mar 2023
Yes and no, I can say that he is currently more motivated than he has ever been before, but he already had mobility and psychiatric issues (in addition to other major medical issues) prior to this incident.
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If he has upper body strength then rehab will be working with him to at least do transfers. A lot will depend on what insurance will pay for and how much he can afford for the upgrades. You will have to consider if you can afford to upgrade the car to get him anywhere out of the house and appointments. Keep speaking to OT and PT
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ccpippins Mar 2023
They won't send to rehab, only skilled nursing, where he will get less therapy than a rehab.
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You will need to contact this SNF with your questions if you are POA for your ex. He will likely need help with discharge planning. Some SNF and rehab facilities do have long term care and some do not. So contact the social workers (or have the family whomever is POA contact them) to work out a discharge plan.

Complications in those who have paraplegia can be many and difficult to deal with, especially in terms of simple transferring, prevention of pressure sores and etc. Unless family wishes to take on this difficult care I would suggest beginning now to discuss with your ex and discharge planners the plans for the future.

I am so sorry that all are dealing with this difficult new condition. I sure do wish you the best.
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