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My father is 82. We believe he has the onset of dementia. He gets strange thoughts in his head and thinks people are doing him wrong. He is agitated and has a temper
I agree with those above. I'd first confirm what is causing his behavior. It could be something treatable, but if it is dementia, then I would read a lot about dementia. You can come here and other sites that provide a lot of practical advice.
I do hope that he has signed Durable Power of Attorney and Healthcare POA. If it is dementia and he is progressing, he'll need someone to act on his behalf and keep him safe. There really isn't any way to make him get better, understand that that he is mistaken or help him get nicer. Often dementia patients are agitated, uncooperative and resistant. With dementia, the brain isn't able to process things correctly, so no amount of explaining will help. It's more of getting through the day with redirecting, comforting and being patient.
MEDICATIONS can be very helpful with the anxiety and delusions. I would certainly explore that with his doctor, if it's dementia. I have seen miracles with meds. They can bring much comfort and contentment to someone who is afraid, confused and agitated.
Sometimes it's a matter of bringing the person peace in the moment. If they say their neighbor has thrown eggs on their car, you might explain that the neighbor cleaned it up, apologized and is moving away and will never bother him again. Or if he thinks someone stole from him, explain that they returned the money and if will never happen again. I may show up and if the dementia patient is upset or worried, I say that I have made some calls and fixed it all and I am now there to celebrate with treats. That makes her feel better and she is so relieved that I have solved all the problems. I deal with the moments, because 5 minutes later, she will not recall what has been said.
There are excellent articles on the Aging Care website regarding Alzheimer's/Dementia that you will find to be very helpful. Click on https://www.agingcare.com/Alzheimers-Dementia and scroll down to the articles.
You also might want your Dad's primary doctor to check to see if Dad has a urinary tract infection because that can also cause strange thoughts and agitation. If that is the case, antibiotics will help.
Has he been examined by his doctor recently? Can you have him tested for dementia? Could also be UTI. More info would be helpful. Use this site to research signs of dementia and how to deal with it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I do hope that he has signed Durable Power of Attorney and Healthcare POA. If it is dementia and he is progressing, he'll need someone to act on his behalf and keep him safe. There really isn't any way to make him get better, understand that that he is mistaken or help him get nicer. Often dementia patients are agitated, uncooperative and resistant. With dementia, the brain isn't able to process things correctly, so no amount of explaining will help. It's more of getting through the day with redirecting, comforting and being patient.
MEDICATIONS can be very helpful with the anxiety and delusions. I would certainly explore that with his doctor, if it's dementia. I have seen miracles with meds. They can bring much comfort and contentment to someone who is afraid, confused and agitated.
Sometimes it's a matter of bringing the person peace in the moment. If they say their neighbor has thrown eggs on their car, you might explain that the neighbor cleaned it up, apologized and is moving away and will never bother him again. Or if he thinks someone stole from him, explain that they returned the money and if will never happen again. I may show up and if the dementia patient is upset or worried, I say that I have made some calls and fixed it all and I am now there to celebrate with treats. That makes her feel better and she is so relieved that I have solved all the problems. I deal with the moments, because 5 minutes later, she will not recall what has been said.
You also might want your Dad's primary doctor to check to see if Dad has a urinary tract infection because that can also cause strange thoughts and agitation. If that is the case, antibiotics will help.