What to do about physical anger in memory care?

Combativeness, aggression, delusions are common. When my mother started arguing and being bean with me about everything and being accusatory that I or my husband took something, I spoke with her doctor. She immediately prescribed Quetiapine which is an antipsychotic. Just using the lowest dose three times a day made a huge difference. After only after one day, my mother agreed to take meds three times a day rather than twice a day without arguing with me was wonderful. It also helped with her “busy-ness” when she is moving her things around from one drawer to a cupboard to a closet to any other place than where it was. She still moves things but not as often.

I’ve been able to bring in a caregiver three times a week for three hours a day to take her out for a walk or to the bakery. Before that I couldn’t get her out of her room or outdoors. She wouldn’t use her stairlift. She will let the caregiver instruct and assist where she would be nasty with me. Now my husband and I have three hours a day for three days a week to go do what we need to do or to just go for a walk — alone together.

The medication has helped a lot.

You are within your rights to schedule a Care Meeting with her caregivers at the facility. I found this was the best way for everyone to be on the same page with my own mother's care. And it also lets the staff know you are aware of what’s happening with your mom. Unfortunately, because paranoia and delusions are a part of dementia, physical altercations between residents happen. My mother lashed out at people too and was herself hit and pushed. I was called immediately when this happened. Eventually, they moved her room to one directly across from the nurse’s station. It helped them watch over her.

Aggressive or violent behavior can occur in MC facilities. This may be a way for a resident to express her/himself. However, it should not be tolerated. Is the staff aware of this? If so, how are they addressing it... medication, closer monitoring? Remember, even though she is in a facility, you are still her advocate. So make sure the director of the facility is aware of what's going on. I never recommend moving a person from one facility to another but that's always a choice.

No, if another resident is showing signs of aggression there are meds that can be given. If they don't work, they need to go to a Psychic facility to find the correct meds.

If your Mom is showing the aggression, you may want to ask her doctor about meds.