Before I left the house I made sure my mother was fed. She ate a few bites of a beef pot pie and told me she had enough. I had also given her a piece of blueberry bread, three cookies and a pudding. When I got home she accused me of not feeding her. I am at my wits end. Is this a sign of dementia or Alzheimer’s?
When she's sweet as sugar on the phone & in front of others, we call that Showtiming. Perfectly fine to everyone else, putting on the Ritz, but in just your company, she's someone entirely different. Fits my mother's description to a tee, and she's suffering from moderate dementia at 93 (diagnosed in 2016).
So..........do NOT be so sure she'd be 'tossed out of a rest' home for ANY behavioral issues, because trust me, we see them ALL! Plus, the beauty of showtiming is that they're ALWAYS nice to others and on much better behavior.............just reserve their angst for the ones their closest to!
Get mother evaluated with a MOCA or SLUMS test which takes about 15 minutes in the doctor's office. Also look for other signs of dementia ie: repeating herself a lot, confusing times, not knowing what day of the week it is, calling you her 'mother' or her 'sister' instead of her daughter, not wanting to take meds or bathe, just odd and disagreeable behavior in general. My mother loves to argue to the point she's turned it into an art form nowadays. Very irritating, to say the least. Best thing to do is just agree with whatever the heck they say!
Here is a link to a great article from the Alzheimer's society about the 10 signs of Alzheimer's and dementia:
https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/10_signs
Wishing you the best of luck!
I feel I am having the opposite problem. My mother seems to want me to leave her alone in AL. I found out last week she had continuously been avoiding showers. She never needs anything yet she could so I have to guess about it. I almost wish she would have a complaint for me so we could have a discussion.
She was drinking over $100 monthly in milkshakes which was also putting on excess weight she does not need. When I would mention this she would tell me about all the carbs she was not eating.
I think you have to know what you are doing for her and not let in what her mind is telling you. It will feel like a losing battle. You could bring up her weight. If you were truly starving her she would be malnourished.
It sounds like you are doing a lot for your mom. Maybe, she’s forgetting about it. If so, there’s not much you can do about that. I’d have her examined by her doctor to see if she’s sick. She could have a UTI, vitamin deficiency, or dementia. Maybe, it would be easier if you knew why she is saying those things. And, perhaps, it’s something that can be treated.
I recall that just before my LO was diagnosed with dementia, she would accuse me of things that were not true and she was very uncooperative. I was perplexed by her conduct. But then, it all made since after her diagnosis. Things did get better in that regard, though. Later on, she stopped being that way.