Money, and lots of it. Because you will need a brigade of people to do everything you are no longer able to do so then must hire skilled labor and/or caregivers. Don’t assume your adult children into this role: it’s time consuming and exhausting. And if you need a brigade of people orbiting around you to keep you in your home, you are not “independent”.
^^^THIS. My grandmother was proudly "independent" until I pointed out she hadn't been alone in her house for the better part of two years.
Know what things cost. 24/7 care for my mother (who would have been isolated in her home with just that one person and me visiting a couple times a week) would have run around $20,000/month, not counting groceries, house expenses, medical expenses, etc. I moved her to a memory care where her mind was stimulated, she wasn't ignored, and she lived out her days for $8900/month.
It's important to be realistic. Change is hard, and it stinks, but if you truly want to be safe and well cared for, it's best to be willing to put yourself in the hands of professionals.
First, I am almost 72. I look at my 4 bedroom house and know we are not going to able to stay here forever. If the person wanting to stay in their own home needs lots of help to stay in it...they need to find another place. I so wish I had talked my Mom into an apartment after Dad died. Her house became an albatross. It took 2 years after her death to get it sold and the proceeds only covered the Medicaid and Tax leans. I would not do this to my kids.
We spent a small fortune remodeling all the bathrooms in my parents' house and installing a powered stairlift for my mother. We finished the work in April, then in October out of nowhere my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died six weeks later. He was the healthy one, and all the work was done for my mother's issues. Mom could not live alone without 24/7 care after Dad died, so she was living a nursing home eight months after we spent all that money to keep her at home.
My point is that if someone is in rough shape as my mom was, don't count on being able to keep them at home unless you're able to spend the money for full-time care, because in the end, that's what really going to tell you whether your loved one will be able to stay home come what may.
Know what things cost. 24/7 care for my mother (who would have been isolated in her home with just that one person and me visiting a couple times a week) would have run around $20,000/month, not counting groceries, house expenses, medical expenses, etc. I moved her to a memory care where her mind was stimulated, she wasn't ignored, and she lived out her days for $8900/month.
It's important to be realistic. Change is hard, and it stinks, but if you truly want to be safe and well cared for, it's best to be willing to put yourself in the hands of professionals.
My point is that if someone is in rough shape as my mom was, don't count on being able to keep them at home unless you're able to spend the money for full-time care, because in the end, that's what really going to tell you whether your loved one will be able to stay home come what may.