When should a caregiver stop feeling guilty about trying to keep mother entertained?

play music and dance to her music. bring he fun milkshakes, and if you can, have a picnic right out side, or inside the livingroom... Go to a flower shop, or trader joes, and go to 99cent store, and get a couple cheap vases, and make your own flower designed vases.

A puzzle with big pieces. plastic ball to toss together.

Thanks to all of the great answers just hearing I'm not alone really helps out I know I over think things alot of times

Wow! Valelia1313, this is a dilemma that I am also in. Whenever I ask Mom if she would like to participate in an activity that the AL facility where she lives is doing, she shakes or head no. I try so hard to think of something that we can do together, but nothing holds her interest. I find it harder and harder to take her out of the facility. Even taking her out to lunch is a chore. She eats like a bird and we don't really have a conversation. I am finding that the length of my visits at Mom's facility are getting shorter and shorter. In short, I know and feel the stress and guilt that you feel. It's truly exhausting, and I'm sorry I have no answer or suggestion to help you. Just know that someone else feels the same as you. By the way, my mom is 84 and in stage 6.

Here are some activities you can do with your mom that may be fun:

7 fantastic, failure-free activities for people with dementia
Each person is different, so it might take some experimenting or creative thinking to find activities that appeal to them.

Safety note: Avoid sharp objects and only give items that will be safe for your older adult. For example, if they tend to put things in their mouth or tie up body parts, avoid string, small items, or things that will break when bitten.

1) Fold towels
Asking an older adult to help you fold laundry is a great way to keep them occupied, give them an activity they can feel successful at, and help them feel like they’re contributing to the household.
The goal is just to keep them happily engaged. It’s best to use hand towels because they’re small and easily folded.
No matter how well or poorly the towels are folded, the point is that your older adult feels good about the activity.
 
2) Create a memory box
A memory or rummage box can help your older adult feel connected to their past career and previous hobbies.
Get any kind of box and fill it with things they would have used at work, copies of photos and non-important keepsakes, or objects from hobbies.
For example, for a former office worker, create a box that reminds them of their career. Include paper clips, pencils, erasers, paper, letters (junk mail), a calculator, file folders, notepads, etc. in the box.
If the person used to do handy work, put nuts, bolts, pvc pipe pieces and fittings, a piece of wood (no splinters), fine grit sandpaper, and twine in their box.
Someone who enjoyed cooking or baking might enjoy measuring spoons, a whisk, a spatula, and other related items.
This can work for any type of job or hobby, just be creative about finding objects that will be safe to handle.

3) Untie knots
Find our buy a length of medium-thickness rope from the local hardware store. Loosely tie a few simple knots and ask your older adult to help you untie them.

 4) Thread pasta with yarn or string
Get some dry pasta with big holes and some thick yarn or regular string. Make a “needle” by taping around the end of the string, making it longer than the piece of pasta.
Have your older adult string the pasta using their “needle” and thread.

5) Create a box of fun fabrics
This is fun for everyone, but especially for someone who used to enjoy sewing or fabric crafts.
Get a box and put dozens of pieces of assorted fabrics inside. Try to get different colors and a variety of textures like lace, felt, silk, velvet, wool, cotton, etc.
Your older adult can enjoy touching, folding, and sorting the fabrics.

6) Make a DIY picture puzzle
Print a copy of a favorite family photo or scenery that’s special to your older adult. You could also print out a photo or image they like, like a car, colorful fruit, etc.
Laminate the photo and cut it into four (or more) puzzle-piece shaped pieces to make a personalized DIY puzzle.

7) Cut pictures from old magazines or calendars
Older adults might like leafing through old magazines or calendars and cutting out the images they like. It’s best to use magazines that reflect their hobbies or interests.
For those who’d enjoy it, they could also paste the pictures into a notebook, creating a fun “scrapbook.”
 
Best of luck!

Sounds like a day program for ALZ patients might be the thing to do.  My mom has attended one for 4 years now and it's great.  Be sure they have a wide variety of daily activities and that there are clients with different levels of the disease so she has someone to communicate with.  For example, my mom is nonverbal and doesn't know how to do crafts anymore so if your mom was in a program where all the clients were like my mom she wouldn't enjoy that.  There are private day programs, which my mom attends, and some AL/MC places have day programs that non-residents can attend and the residents also go to.   Also, check with your local city/county because they might have some programs.  Best of luck!

How about letting her "help" you with tasks.
Fold towels
Sort socks
Cut recipes out of a magazine or news paper.
Cut coupons.
(use child safe scissors and make sure they are magazines, newspapers and recipes you do not really want.)
Coloring
Puzzles (check resale stores for child age puzzles)
Play cards
Sort the cards into suits.
And take time yourself just to sit and talk to her, hold her hand and tell her how much she means to you. (sort of like the son in the book, "Love you Forever"..a book I can not read without crying uncontrollably)

Don't worry about "entertaining" her. And if she dozes off..that is part of the process as she declines she will sleep more and more. It is not boredom it is the body's way of catching up. It needs to process all that it has done, even digesting food takes energy.

Unfortunately, you are stressing out over an impossible situation. The harder you try, the worse it gets. Because her brain is broken, she lives in the minute and doesn’t remember what went on in the immediate past. You actually, sad to say, are doing these rides and such for yourself and not really for her. But that doesn’t mean you should stop. She might enjoy them in the moment but having discussions about them after the fact will be frustrating for you.