When should a parent with Alzheimer's be placed in a memory care unit?

i have found with my mother who has alzhiemers that with every serious thing that has happened in her life she got worse. she had 2 minor car accidents. then had a 3rd that totalled her new car. she came out with a bruised arm and no memory of the accident but started becoming paranoid. no more driving for her after 3rd wreck.(thankfully no one in accident was hurt bad) mom had a reaction to a medicine and after we discontinued giving it to her she got even worse mentally. started seeing people in her bedroom etc. scared her so bad she wouldnt sleep in her room. now lastly while getting her testing to go into assisted living she was coming out of doctors office and fell and broke her collar bone. doesnt remember it at all. doesnt remmber much of anything of her recent past and her older past memories are getting sketchy .... they say mom is level 4. I think she is farther along. Janet did they check your mother for a UTI? we recently found out mom had one and it affects their memory even more so and makes them nasty and parenoid. (something that totally surprised us)

My father was in a VA facility for 5 years and was grouped with people of similar capabilities. As the Alzheimer's progressed, he was moved to different care units so he could receive the care he needed. When he first entered, he could wander around, eat by himself and the nurses even took the men outdoors to putt. I believe that everyone deserves to be in the least restrictive and most stimulating environment possible. Keep in mind, though, that your mom may have had a good day while other residents may be having a bad day. Or perhaps some of the residents you observed are on the edge of the criteria or are waiting for a space to open up in another unit. I would ask the staff their opinion because they see your mom all day. Perhaps there are ways that your mom can be engaged even though other residents are not at her level. Another thought is that with the death of your dad, mom might be feeling lost and she is certainly grieving. My mother became psychotic and ended up in a geriatric psych unit in a hospital after loosing 2 brothers in a short amount of time. It is possible that the death of your father has affected her dementia.

All care facilities are not created equal. (Neither are all home care situations!) If a professional care setting is best for our loved ones, we need to be their advocates. We need to do all we can to select a "good" place. And then we need to continue to advocate to ensure they are getting the best possible care the place is capable of. We need to visit often and be present by phone. They still need us as caregivers.

Sometimes dementia progresses to a level where it just is not feasible, even with help, to keep our loved ones at home.

I went to get my mom who had been living on her own for all of her life. She was diagnosised with Alzheimers 5 years ago but the doctor said since she was older it may take a little longer before the really tough symptoms are displayed. This past January (2012), my husband and I decided to go and get her because she was still lucid and strong but you could tell she was changing. Things worked well until 2 weeks ago (middle of September). She now is in the area of sundowning and it has become very difficult for her and my family. She is only sleeping 2 hours a night and is very agitated and upset the rest of the night. My husband and I stay with her until it passes but we both work. He works nights to be with her during the day and I work days and am home at night. We are literally exhausted but my father died in a nursing home that was awful. My mom and us kids spent almost every waking moment with him there for two years and I vowed that my mother would not go through that. He contracted ersa from the nurses not being clean and died there. Now she so aggressive that she is dangerous to herself and to the family at night. But I feel like crap even considering one for her. This is so hard for me. I cry everyday thinking about what I may have to do (nursing home facility).

I have not had this experience personally, but have seen several friend/caregivers go through it. I don't know about the other reasons for putting an Alzheimers relative into a living place, but one definite time is when they begin to hit, or become violent. That will only escalate and you cannot take care of that in your home--at that point the person you love is a danger to you, the rest of your family and to him/herself.

I understand. I am a professional care giver, a CNA. My main area of concentration is Alzheimer and dementia care. It is for one easy to feel guilty, but you do not need to simply because if you are weighing out her safety needs you are doing the right thing especially if she tends to wonder off. There are six stages to this disease as it is a form of dementia, a bad one of course as much as I hate to tell you that, but i think honesty is best. Every one progresses differently in the stages and in the behaviors as well. One suggestion I will make is to hire a caregiver and of course one who is trained in Alzheimer's care if you feel that is appropriate and comfortable for your situation of course. I do not know if there is any perfect time to or not to put mom in a memory care facility, I mean I think that depends on your ability to keep her safe at home with no worry per say that she will get out and get hurt or some thing. If you feel like mom is starting to progress in to later stages or is there it may be you need that help now. Talking to your doctor is wise if you have a good doctor you trust and have had a while or is versed in memory care issues is good. I think it all depends on you is how I feel and what you know you are able to and not able to do, if this makes sense to you. I understand the guilt part because this is mom and you love her with all your heart no doubt about it. If it is a facility you checked the state reviews and know people who has family there or get to know pther family member's if you place mom there that will help you some to get to know the staff and other family members. Alzheimer support groups are good because they help you deal with and handle what you are facing and educate you on the steps and so forth. There is reading and study material you can buy or go online and look up related topics and online studies to educate yourself to all of it. Understanding and training is a key in dealing with it - support as well. I mean this is your mom and I have one to and she is very ill herself not with Alzheimer's but other medical conditions, but it runs in my family and so I know the personal side of these issues as well as the professional side and it is tough, but doing the right thing based on your ability and capability o care for mom should be considered with out guilt because you would feel worse if some thing happened that you could not stop while mom was at home alone and I know you do not want that. If you are able or have the means a care giver is a great idea as long as they have experience with this type of care need, that is great to to relieve your fears. You just have a great big heart for mom I can tell and that makes me happy, just remember your health is important to or your stress level in the matter.