My two sisters and I have POAs for my mother. My question is: When Mom needs in-home care and doesn't want to pay for it (even though she has ample funds), can we exercise the POA? I have read the document, and there is no time limit mentioned. It states: " Your agent may exercise the pwers given here throughout your lifetime, even after you become incapacitated." But what if Mom tells us that we are not allowed to use that power? And what if we all do not agree that the power should be exercised? I am asking this for two reasons. First, Mom's cognitive skills are very good and she is refusing to hire any help whatsoever. Second, the help is now being given by me. I am getting tired, having given many, many hours in the last 3 1/2 years since my Dad passed away. Any knowledge that you can share will be most appreciated!
You may not be able to control your mother's actions, but you can control your own. If you are providing all the help she needs, why should she decide to have in-home care? Who wouldn't rather have a loved relative taking care of them than a stranger?
But that doesn't mean you have to continue providing all the care yourself. If you "resign" from that position, Mother will be forced to reconsider accepting aid.
And if you decide that you are willing to continue providing her care all yourself, then I hope you are getting paid for that. (This helps keep the inheritances, if any, fair.) Draw up a personal care agreement, spelling out what you are doing and what Mother is paying you.
On another topic, it can be very challenging to have multiple people as co-POAs. ALL of you have to agree before anything can happen. It is generally much better to have one person the POA and the others back-ups. Would your mother consider this change?