She just got both. I have been taking care of my mother since 2003, l was working full time, it was hard, but now is worst. l retired to take care of her and repair my old house, l need a new roof among other repairs. We both depend on our social security pensions that barely cover the costs of living.
Caring for my mother who is now bedridden, is my full time job she is 86 not well, she is not a good person she complaints about everything, she is hard to please and l not well either l am 70 years old. If l get paid l will have a little money to manage my expenses better, my stress level will go down, and l can tolerate my mom. I don’t know how long she will be here, but l love her and l want her to be ok until God takes her.
Thank you for listening l need more help if anybody have information that would help with equipment, like a wheel chair so my mother can get around, go the bathroom etc. l also need to remodel the bathroom, we have a bathtub, she can get her legs up, so l have to do something. Also we have a lot of steps for her to get out of the house. Well l have a lot to do. God always comes late but he is there, if you have any advice, resources l would appreciate it if you would share it.
Thank you, God Bless
Miriam
Before you wear yourself out trying to get a bit of help to prop up the present situation, it could be worth a first phone call to APS. They might be able to help BOTH of you with a plan that will work better, and take the load off your shoulders. It might also give you a few years to look after yourself while mother has more help than you can give - and to stay together while you can.
Since your Mom is on Medicaid [which is different from Medicare], each State has some type of payment program. But don't be surprised if it is minimum wage for a few hours a week. Not enough to save for a new roof :(
I know that putting Mom into a nursing home, where Medicaid pays for her care, is something not many families want to do. I always believed a senior citizen should not be taking care of a much older senior, it will damage your health, then what would your Mom do if you are no longer around?
You need to become your Mom's daughter again, instead of being only her caregiver. Even if Mom is in a nursing home, you can still watch over her and make sure she is doing as well as she can. Plus, you can go back to work and get that extra money that you need.
I was overseeing my parents care [both in their late 90's]. Mom was in a nursing home as she was at a point where it took a village to take care of her. She was a major fall risk with final stage dementia, and it usually took two young caregivers to lift her up [she weighed a meer 90 lbs].
If l get paid l will have a little money to manage my expenses better (perhaps true)
my stress level will go down (maybe but probably not because care-giving is hard) (dad refused to get is his bed last night so he ended up sleeping in his wheelchair. That really bothered me but hospice suggested leaving him so both he nor I would continue to get agitated and so I did)
l can tolerate my mom (some days will be better than others). (Did it for seven years. Took a break. Trying to do it again but in a different way and soon.)
Go to Google and type in personal care aid and your town (ex: personal care aid Atlanta Georgia). Then call each of those agencies and they will tell you who the contact person is for the Medicaid waiver program in your area. Keep in mind the waiver program, at least in my area, has a waiting list that according to them is a year behind.
In our area, family can provide the care as long as they do not reside in the same home and you are not the caregiver (but sure there are loopholes), you have to pass a background check (we did level 1 and level 2), you do a tb skin test, and get your primary to administer a physical (pretty much a checklist) and you do the cpr online (don’t count on being able to save anyone’s life), require a driver license and insured vehicle. Those are the requirements for our area.
Read on the forum for other ways you may be able to get paid.
If Mom needs a wheelchair, have her PCP write an order and take it to a Durable equipment supplier. Medicare should cover the cost. Some pharmacies are able to order durable equipment. Medicaid will cover some equipment too.
To get paid, you would need to apply to Medicaid for "in home" services for Mom. There is income criteria that has to be met. Some states will pay a family member, some will provide an aide only. Office of Aging maybe able to help you with Medicaid too.
This link:
https://aging.maryland.gov/Pages/National-Family-Caregiver-Support.aspx
also provides useful information.