Father has cancer however undiagnosed. , bedridden at home. refuses hospice. mother seems to have undiagnosed dementia. She takes care of him but their fights have become increasing violent. He will not eat and she is angry about it and they have violent fights at nights.Neither contest to illness. Palliative is coming in this week but what are suggestions. My sister is trying to manager it all and scared. I want us to move to nursing home but that is hard and how do you do that???
If no one is their PoA then the only means to get them into a nursing home is through guardianship. Either the family pursues it or the county will acquire it. Once this happens the guardian can legally get them into a facility. But a family guardian will have to be able to pay for the guardianship in court (which is a significant amount) AND have access to the parents' funds to pay for the NH.
In most states' Medicaid programs only LTC is covered. If your Mom needs MC, this is probably not covered so, does she have the means to pay for it? Your father sounds like he would qualify for LTC if he truly has cancer or some other profound health issue that is not treatable.
I would start by calling social services for their county, whether or not someone is their PoA.
If so, he really needs to be protected from his wife. Your sister could call his doctor and explain to the doc what was going on and ask the doc to write an order to have your dad move to a nursing home, asap.
You said your dad would not eat. He would not eat at all or just sometimes? How long has it been?