This is grotesque, but I need an answer.
Last nite, I went into my Mother's room (about 3am to check to see if she was ok, there was a strong storm that woke me at that time). There was a very strong feces odor, too.
She was lying on the bed, on her back. She had both knees bent and had her fingers from both hands inside her rectum. She didn't see me, I quickly shut the door.
She's 85 years old, post stroke 4 years ago, has some sundowning. Has never been diagnosed with dementia (though I'm sure she is slightly), nor Alzheimer's.
She's a retired nurse, do you think she is constipated? trying to dig out her poop? She wears diapers and pads, has a commode near her bed, but I noticed that she rarely defecates in there. I assumed she poops in her diapers, disposes in the trash. Now, I wonder if she sometimes removes the poop manually?
I'm very disturbed by this and I feel overwhelmed all the time and I sure as hell didn't need to see that! I feel absolutely like this just takes the cake.
Feelings aside, I'm going to put her on a fiber supplement (not a laxative).
Anyone have advice? Thanks.
Yes, I expect she felt a bit "stuck." Manual disimpaction is a recognised procedure, quite possibly one she has carried out many a time in her nursing career. The important thing is that she washes properly afterwards if she is sometimes doing this; so another time don't back out doing the silent screaming face, offer help and take her to the bathroom.
And always knock before you go into her room.
If this person is anywhere mobile, the risks to your home are great beyond the cosmetic or smelly ones. Fecal-oral transmission is a thing. She could be contaminating your food for all you know.
If she can't use a Fleet and insists on probing her rectum with two hands, it might be time for a facility.
But why not ask her why she was doing this, first off? Maybe she'll tell you she's constipated and then you can take the appropriate steps to help her. If she can't explain why, then you'd need to assume it's dementia related. If she's trying to release impacted feces, why would she not be doing this on the TOILET but in bed where it makes a mess???
In the meantime, you can dress her in an Alzheimer's anti strip jumpsuit you can buy on Amazon, just search out that very phrase. Put her in a Depends first, then the suit. She won't be able to access her undergarment or her rectum, and the problem is solved. She's not doing this to be grotesque....its just something that goes with the territory for some elders who become fixated with their excrement once dementia gets to the moderate stages.
Good luck
I am recommending citrucel (not metamucil which is also fiber supplement but ferments in a different way and causes much more flatus, a problem. Also consider a stool softener. Your pharmacist will give you recommend for best over the counter.
Wishing you good luck.
Issues around bowels are very prevalent in elders..and retired nurses can be rather hard to help...
An agent that adds bulk to stool can help...and more fluids/fiber in daytime.
Take a look at her hands in the morning after she gets us and toilets. She may be washing them then - an indication that she knows this is something private.
Offer to do a home manicure...or at least soak her fingers in warm soapy water, clean out any feces (even a toothpick will work..or use a nailbrush if lots to remove.)
If this seems to happen often, let her MD know. There could be a medical issue.
Lysol wipes and spray (or very dilute bleach rinsed well) are good for cleaning up, and you can buy exam gloves at the drug store.
An old remedy for clearing the unmistakeable odor - strike one or 2 wooden matches, let them burn out..so there is lots of smoke..the smoke neutralizes the odor, to a degree.
I will do more nail hygiene definitely.
Thank you for the advice.