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My 91 yo ..mother as vascular dementia, and my father, her primary caregiver, reports to me that at every mealtime, mom will consistently try to give about half the food on her plate to the dog....this includes ice cream and soup (yes, melting ice cream was literally running down the dog's head!) She will continue the behavior even after Dad tells her to stop, just do it a little more sneakily. When he removes the dog from the dining room, she often will just drop the food right on the floor. Anyone have any idea why she is doing this? And what can we do to stop or prevent the behavior.? Note that she has an increasingly poor appetite, and has a disrupted eat, chew, swallow sequence (tends to chew inadequately before swallowing, and will put additional food in her mouth before she swallows the previous bite) She also will periodically have choking events if her food is too chunky or dry--which we are trying to address by having her eat more soups, liquids, purees, etc. but now he is having to deal with her dropping these liquid foods on the dog or the floor. Looking for any insights or tips someone can provide about understanding and dealing with this behavior

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She does this because she has a progressive disease that causes her judgement and decision making abilities to be decreasing.

It sounds as though your father may not be fully aware of the symptoms/severity of her condition.

If she hasn’t already had a thorough cognitive assessment with a geriatric specialist in psychiatry, psychology, or neuropsychiatric, and a swallowing examination administered by a speech therapist with training in geriatric swallowing disorders, those should probably happen sooner than later.

Could you try several very small, fully supervised meals through the day? Her behaviors are indicating that she probably won’t stop dropping food on the dog, so maybe try giving her foods only when someone is right next to herAND the dog is out of the room?

Does your dad have plenty of help with caring for her? Dealing with this is a tragedy for all of us who are caregivers, and probably most difficult for loving spouses.

Thinking of you both………
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Her brain is sick and she doesn’t know any better. She no longer understands why she shouldn’t do this. She needs memory care now. In the meantime, put Fido elsewhere when she’s eating because the table scraps may not be good for his health.
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The least of your problems is the dog. Your mother has swallow issues from advanced dementia which often lead to aspiration pneumonia and death. She needs a swallow study done after her doctor is notified of her swallowing and choking issues. You need to treat this as an emergency situation immediately. Once the study is done, you'll be instructed how to feed her properly. For now, just feed mom pureed foods and liquids.

In the meantime, put the dog in his kennel during mealtimes.

And look into Memory Care Assisted Living for mom or Skilled Nursing, depending upon the level of care required. You and dad are not qualified to care for mom at this stage of disease, unfortunately.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation
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Her mind is altered, she will continue to get worse. IMO she needs to be placed somewhere with people who understand her diseased mind.

Your father will not be able to keep up with her care needs, not my rules just the facts, don't wait until it becomes an emergency, plan, start the process.
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Would it help if your dad put less food on her plate? Maybe if she sees a smaller portion on her plate she might be more likely to eat it and if so, you could then try putting a little more on the plate after she's eaten what was already on the plate.
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I want to address her eating habits. Having Dementia means you cannot reason with them because they have lost that ability. Her throwing food on the floor may have been something she did as a child feeding her then dog.

My concern is the way she eats. By stuffing her mouth and swallowing may cause her to choke on it or go down the wrong way. It can be aspirated into the lungs and cause pneumonia. If she is having a problem swallowing, this should be brought up to her doctor. A test may need to be performed. In some cases liquids have to be thickened, even water.

It maybe time that Dad has to feed mom. Maybe placing one thing on her plate at a time. Cutting things very small. Waiting until she chews and swallows before she is given the next bite. I know it will take forever but right now she is wasting food and making a mess. It will be like feeding a toddler.
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cooperps, so sorry to read that your Mom has dementia. Please note that dementia can cause a person to go into a child like state. She can't help it, her brain is broken. Telling Mom "no" won't register with her, if it does it would be only for a few seconds.

Go to the top of the page to the blue/green bar and click on CARE TOPICS. Now go to Dementia where you will find a lot of excellent articles. The more one knows about the disease the better it will be knowing what may come next, and what you can do to make it a bit easier.
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Sounds like it's time for mom to be put into a home.
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