Why would my sister gift me with money from my mom's checking account?
I just received two 5-figure checks from my sister in the mail. They were my mother's checks, but written in my sister's handwriting and I could tell she also signed my mother's name in the signature.
There was a note attached that said this was "gift" and to please accept it. I am estranged from my sister and have had mostly no contact with in seven years.
She is POA. She is trustee successor. She is named in the Will to settle financial aspects of the estate. Her name is not on the checking account. My question is why would my sister write me checks? My other question is that given she is appointed to handle all matters, is it still legal that she does this? My dad died four months ago leaving my mother with dementia in memory care of an assisted living facility. The staff at the ALF told me she asked the staff doctor to declare my mother mentally incompetent, but the doctor refused because mom is not that far advanced. I believe my sister's motivation was to take over all mom's decisions. It leaves me very suspicious of her motives.
I contacted the bank when I heard about this, but the people there said they could not talk to me about mom's financials unless I bring her in for an in-person visit. It is like moving a mountain to get my mother to move down the hall, let alone drag her in to a bank for a meeting.
I feel like my hands are tied unless I contact an attorney. I just wonder if anyone has had similar experience or may have ideas on 1) why my sister would be writing two 5-figure checks to me, and 2) can she do this legally.
I know my sister's motivation was NOT out of generosity or love. Appreciate any feedback. Thank you.
10 Answers
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As I replied in another response, Medicaid does not allow the 18k gift giving a year that the IRS does. It will cause penaltiesvif Mom ever needs Medicaid. Her money needs to be used for her care.
If Ginger is estranged from BOTH Mom and Sis, yeah, this check thing is worrisome, then--I agree.
But the mom can gift if she has enough money not to run out in her lifetime. I recall my brother wanting to give, at Christmas, to a shelter in his area, 5,000 and I told him "Hon, I know your heart, but you can't be giving away that kind of money if you want to be certain you will outlive you cash. If you are going to give that much then you need to write the check from your own personal spending account". So he cut it drastically on my advice. But he was still competent enough to direct me even if his decisions weren't good ones. I was so lucky in his being so cooperative and trusting with me.
Personally I think it's weird that she is writing out checks as your Mom, rather than as her own self "as PoA for _____". This is how my husband writes checks from his Mom's account, even though he is on it, along with another brother. Maybe your Mom still has legal capacity and just told your sister to do it this way. Who knows without actually asking the 1 person who does: your sister.
So, your Mom does have dementia? If so, who decided this if the facility doctor wouldn't diagnose her? And is she in AL or the memory care wing?
We have more questions than answers for you. If you think your sister is doing something nefarious you'll have to pay an attorney to uncover this, and you'll need evidence (which the attorney will ask you to provide).
Gifting an elder's money is a no-no that would disqualify or delay anyone trying to apply for Medicaid since the financial look-back period in most states is 5 years. It's possible your Mom is very well-off financially and has decided to give you your inheritance while she is still alive through your sister. But weird that there is no note. Also weird that she would make a sketchy offspring her PoA and trustee.
You can call her with the premise that you are concerned about the gifting and Medicaid issue and you need to make certain you understand why you are getting the money at this point in time.
Medicaid and elder law rules can vary by state and this is a global, anonymous forum of everyday people, not professinals like you need to consult.
As you tell us your mother is not adjudge incompetent.
Apparently your sister, as POA, is currently writing you out some checks that your mother can afford to gift. I would keep A) copy of check B) copy of POA sister telling you it is a gift, C) cash and enjoy the gift D) write your Mom a lovely thank-you note.
Your mother may have funds enough to know she doesn't need to worry about money, and that she cannot outlive her money. She is likely therefore to be able to gift as she chooses, but that really is the business of your mom and your sister, and not your problem. If you feel that your mother may be denied Medicaid in the next five years because she is gifting, then you may want to put this in a special account so it can be returned to Mom if need be. But again, this is the problem of the sister and mother. Not your own. And since the Bank seems satisfied with how all this is going, I wouldn't really give it a lot of thought. I gift to my children, and am able to do so. It is on your sis as POA to know what can and cannot be done. As you and sis seem to be estranged I would not dabble in all this myself.
No more need be done.
As POA I don't think your sister has to be on the acct. But, she should be signing those checks with her name and POA following her name. Otherwise, it fraud to sign Moms name. This money should be used for Moms care not to get your inheritance early, if that is what your sister is doing. Which I feel is beyond her responsibility as a POA. Assets after Moms passing are handled by the Executor of the Will. No Will, then an Administrator has to be appointed.
Your sister's responsibility is to pay for Moms care and needs. If she is sending you checks then she must be giving herself money, too. Unless written in the POA, your sister cannot personally profit from Mom. Its a conflict of interest. Its fraud. I think she is trying to hide money and when all is said and done, she will be asking for it back. Again, do not even cash those checks because u will become part of the fraud. Yes, see a lawyer. If sister is committing a fraud then her POA should be revoked. Do not even put that money in a separate acct, it may show intent.