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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You don't give any details so it's difficult to know exactly what to suggest to you...
If he verbally threatens you or had a psychhotic episode call 911. You do not need to endure that stress and if you don't have a viable way to get him into a facility, having him transported to the ER may be the beginning of an option. When there make sure the staff knows he is an "unsafe discharge" and be adamant that you are not willing/able to be his caregiver due to his abuse.
I'm assuming you're not his PoA? If so, then talk to a social worker at the hospital about keeping him there until he can be placed and the county becomes his guardian. Do NOT believe it if the hospital "promises" to help you once he's back at home -- this is not a sincere offer but only a way of getting him out of their hair. Make sure no one else goes to get him, either.
You shouldn't have to leave the house if it's your residence.
If you mean leaving for the LONG term - Yes, you can end your marriage formally if you wish to. Or physically leave but stay married legally.
However, if you mean leaving for SHORT periods (say to run errands, visit friends) - this is very different.
It *could* be considered neglectful, but before you jump on that, consider if the husband has known dementia, cognitive impairement or disease. If the Wife is the main caregiver then she has Duty of Care. It is reasonable she take steps to avoid harm. It is reasonable to avoid leaving a vulnerable person home alone if they are unable to care for themself or use telephone appropriately to call for help.
This may include not leaving the Husband alone when he is suffering psychotic symptoms eg delusions, hallucinations that could cause him harm. This does NOT mean she must put up with abuse (verbal or otherwise). She may need to leave the room or area, supervise from a little distance or have someone else supervise.
If this verbal abuse & psychosis is frequent or ongoing &/ caregiver stress is too high, it's time for change.
Basically, if the situation is not working - change is needed.
Is he a danger to you? If so call the Police and tell them ur afraid of him, he needs to be Baker acted. After he is evaluated refuse to take him back. If he lands in the Hospital for another reason, refuse to take him back saying your afraid of him.
See an elder lawyer about having assets split. Husbands split going towards his care and when gone Medicaid takes over. You remain in ur home, get one car, and get enough money from ur monthly income to live on. This is just the basics, the lawyer can explain better,
No, you won't. However, if your husband is not mentally competent or safe to be alone, then it is necessary for you to let authorities know you are going, that he is alone, and that you feel your husband is a danger to himself and others. This will get wheels in motion. You can call APS as well to say you "HAVE TO" leave. Try not to give a whole lot of details about your leaving other than you "have to leave for my own safety".
As this is only verbal you do also have a right to file for legal separations with separation of finances with an attorney. He/she will give you further options for yourself.
If your husband has other family you might inform them when you leave. I think you now need to concentrate on making yourself a list of things to do in your own mind and for your own protection and I wish you the very best of luck. Hope you'll update us.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If he verbally threatens you or had a psychhotic episode call 911. You do not need to endure that stress and if you don't have a viable way to get him into a facility, having him transported to the ER may be the beginning of an option. When there make sure the staff knows he is an "unsafe discharge" and be adamant that you are not willing/able to be his caregiver due to his abuse.
I'm assuming you're not his PoA? If so, then talk to a social worker at the hospital about keeping him there until he can be placed and the county becomes his guardian. Do NOT believe it if the hospital "promises" to help you once he's back at home -- this is not a sincere offer but only a way of getting him out of their hair. Make sure no one else goes to get him, either.
You shouldn't have to leave the house if it's your residence.
However, if you mean leaving for SHORT periods (say to run errands, visit friends) - this is very different.
It *could* be considered neglectful, but before you jump on that, consider if the husband has known dementia, cognitive impairement or disease. If the Wife is the main caregiver then she has Duty of Care. It is reasonable she take steps to avoid harm. It is reasonable to avoid leaving a vulnerable person home alone if they are unable to care for themself or use telephone appropriately to call for help.
This may include not leaving the Husband alone when he is suffering psychotic symptoms eg delusions, hallucinations that could cause him harm. This does NOT mean she must put up with abuse (verbal or otherwise). She may need to leave the room or area, supervise from a little distance or have someone else supervise.
If this verbal abuse & psychosis is frequent or ongoing &/ caregiver stress is too high, it's time for change.
Basically, if the situation is not working - change is needed.
But he could be in violation of elder abuse of his treatment of YOU becomes a
'known' factor.
If you feel threatened, leave. Call APS or even the police and have him taken out of the home if you can.
I hope you can create a village of people who care for you to help support you in this situation. And get a GOOD lawyer.
See an elder lawyer about having assets split. Husbands split going towards his care and when gone Medicaid takes over. You remain in ur home, get one car, and get enough money from ur monthly income to live on. This is just the basics, the lawyer can explain better,
However, if your husband is not mentally competent or safe to be alone, then it is necessary for you to let authorities know you are going, that he is alone, and that you feel your husband is a danger to himself and others. This will get wheels in motion. You can call APS as well to say you "HAVE TO" leave. Try not to give a whole lot of details about your leaving other than you "have to leave for my own safety".
As this is only verbal you do also have a right to file for legal separations with separation of finances with an attorney. He/she will give you further options for yourself.
If your husband has other family you might inform them when you leave.
I think you now need to concentrate on making yourself a list of things to do in your own mind and for your own protection and I wish you the very best of luck. Hope you'll update us.