My 90 yr old mother has started something new. I ask her if she is hungry and she says I don’t know I don’t think I am hungry. I think to myself is been 6 hours she should be hungry. So I prepare a meal and make her a plate and she eats everything on the plate. She says I guess I was hungry that was very good.
She no longer can remember to take her medication consistently. I set an alarm for medication time she still does not take her meds. I have to remind her or give her medication.
I am thinking this is just the beginning of decline. I can’t help but think she could pass at any time. I find myself standing in her room watching her sleep and asking myself how much time do we have.
It is best to have the understanding and work with the situation and accept it. I learned that notes helped as he can read and understand but if I tell him the football game is on at 1:00 he will not remember. Helpers and I don't ask if he is hungry - just keep him on a schedule. Myself and helper give his meds in morning. He is still living on his own. We leave healthy snacks and gatorade by his TV chair - again he sees them he will eat. I use the zipper plastic bags to open easy for snacks.
None of this is easy. My friends commend me that I searched out the knowledge - a doctor can confirm but you have to navigate on how to handle what is best. Senior Centers may also be a resource as well as talking to a caregiver with a dementia client.
Each dementia case can be different so see what works for her. Best of luck and this forum is awesome for opinions and direction.
Barbara
When she was fully awake, she realized reality. I always tested her when I thought she may be getting Alzheimers, and she knew all the answers, she never forgot who anyone was. You know when they no longer have their right mind, they will look at you one minute and know who you are, the next they will ask you why you are in their house, and who you are. She used to be a Physical Therapist and knew how to make the body work, so when hers stopped working she would hate that I would have to help her with her intimate tasks. She'd say, "What a revolting development this is!" But she was the same, and younger than your mother, 90 is a long time to live and keep it together. I don't know how long you have left with your mother, but if you can hang in there, don't put her in a home. She deserves to live with people who love her and won't harm her, does she still walk around, mine couldn't, so I found things for her to do, a friend of mine gave me the idea. Coloring became her passion, she used to be an artist, so coloring I thought would be easy for her, but she was working really hard to color those pictures. She wanted to give her coloring's to my siblings and their kids, but no one understood how much time and effort she put into them, and so they left them behind. I would hide them so my mom didn't know. If you can hang in there for her, please do, if your ready to let go then put her in a home. You are still young, I'm 55, and you have a long healthy life ahead of you. I don't know if your all she has, but if you are, then she's all you have as well. You only get one Mom.
If she is living with you YOU need to give her the medication when she is supposed to take it. You can not set an alarm for her as she will probably have no recollection what the alarm is for or what to do or take if she does.
You can not ask her if she is hungry. She may not know or recognize what hunger feels like.
Begin fixing her a small breakfast, then a few hours later a snack a few hours after that lunch then in a few hours a snack then dinner later. The snacks can be small a bit of cottage cheese, fruit, yogurt or if she will drink them a product like Ensure or other protein/vitamin beverage.
There will come a time when she will refuse all food and beverage, PLEASE resist the urge to do a feeding tube.
This also might be a good time to consult Hospice she is probably qualified and they will help you through this time. And you will get help and equipment when you need it as well as a lot of support.
As for a doctor that specializes in dementia...there is not much they can do other than tell you she is declining and you already know that. But if you wish to consult one look for a Neurologist and or a Neuropsychologist.
As far as both MCI and dementia are concerned, there is no cure, nor is there an imminent cure. There are a few drugs that can slow the dementia side if taken at the optimum time once it has tipped out of MCI. But progress will still be relentless, there is no return path. Behaviour modification is a useful tool to manage both MCI and dementia, and to maximise a sufferer's enjoyment and quality of life. A geriatrician helps guide a carer and sufferer through those options.
My mother managed to hide the decline of her MCI, then her dementia, very well. Unwittingly, we aided and abetted her in that quest. Whether she did it on purpose or whether it is just the way it goes, who knows! Your mother's attitude towards food is a perfect example of that ability to hide a problem. Other terms like 'I don't know, you decide for me', 'I cannot find my glasses, could you work out such and such for me', 'why is the alarm ringing' when it is the door bell or telephone ringing etc, with hindsight all pointed to her declining cognisance.
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