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My dad is very high functioning 84 year old. Evil, mean, sly, slick, emotionally draining, abusive mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially. I swear he just sits back and creates ways to be difficult to be around him. He's humiliating. He's a liar. Has a memory like an elephant. Theres so much much more. My dad abused his 2 wives, not his current girlfriend, but there's a story to that. He pretends to be someone he's not. He brags all the time. My dad abandoned us when He and my mom divorced, he says we as little children abandoned him. He plays lots of mind games. Hes very sharp. I am so sick of my dad, and his mean cruel games..I'm the opposite of all of that. My dad is outright cruel. He hated my mom and her family and I think I fell into a trap by coming here to assist him when his 2nd wife and her sister died. I was very Ill at the time, but since they both lived here and died a day apart, I thought it would be hard for him to be in an empty house. I was so wrong. My dad is a ladies man. My dad never paid his $50 a mo th child support for us, when he made $1000 a week. He's always been trying to recreate a family, and feels he has with his girlfriends family. He says I'm not his daughter. My stepsister didnt get along with him either, and for a long time I didn't know who to believe, I apologized to her. I felt sorry for my mom and my step mom...boy my dad was cruel. Anyway, we practically had an estranged relationship for many many years, other than the cards I'd send him. Theres a few good things in there but my grandmother's were alive then too. And they held the power in some ways.


Anyway after my mom died, I thought he's getting older, maybe I should or could give him the time and comfort and love I gave my moms.. oh, what a terrible mistake I made. I let my dad break me, I'm broke. I moved back here, I've been in misery ever since. I cant find a way out. I'm financially broke and I didnt see it coming. I'm not exaggerating about my dad, this a kinda small town, and some of my older family warned me years ago. They are all gone now. My dad is a horrible person. Seems like he has sold his soul to the devil. I could tell u so much more. But he pretends to be this kind person in front of the people he thinks cares. He thinks he knows it all, and he downgrades me every chance he gets. I cant have an opinion or a thought, he treated my step mom this way vividly. I dont like my dad, and I'm questioning my love for him. I feel is of the devil, and that's not the route I choose. I will give examples later and you'll really get the point of his level of alertness. He drives, just not on the highway. If something happens to him, I'm hoping no one will call me. I can't even see myself at his funeral, and especially with those that are blind to who he really is getting up and saying kind words. I'm afraid if I went I would have an outburst. And not of tears of sorrow. I keep saying what have I done to my life. I have taken care of many elders as have others I have read. It was my pleasure. This is absolutely frightful...I can not get any good sleep here. My dad is torturing me right now. I'm broke how do I get the heck out of here before I have a breakdown or worse?

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Lots of history, and it sounds very sad.

Toonicegal, what brought you to the forum now, today, specifically? Has something just happened?

How long have you been living in your father's house?
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Is there a women’s shelter in your town? Call the Area Agency on Aging for your county and ask what services might be available.
Of course you can leave. At 84 he could easily live another 10 years or more. Don’t put yourself through that. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
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“You are questioning your love for him”???? This man who “is a horrible person” who “seems like he has sold his soul to the devil”? Who failed to provide for you as a child, has been bad to every one you know, and who you say “downgrades me every chance he gets”. For pity’s sake, accept that you drew the short straw with the father you got, and you actually hate the bastard for very good reason. My father was not a lot better, and just in case you were thinking of inheritance, mine left everything he had left to the most recent grifter he was trying to impress. And no, my sisters and I weren't there at the death and didn't go to the funeral. Run, don’t walk.

Right now, stop thinking about your father and put all your energy into working out the finances or contacts you need to get a very long way away.
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If he is the evil person you describe, I'd walk out on him and not look back. You owe him nothing.

I consider myself a kind, caring person but if someone treats me like dirt they will get nothing from me. God expects us to love one another. I don't think that means letting someone destroy us.

Run as fast as you can. Away From Him!
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