Many of us who were hands on caregivers were in control of every aspect of our care recipient's lives, we knew what they ate and when, their bowel habits, sleep habits, medications etc. Once they enter a facility we are asked to hand that responsibility to someone else - at first it can be a welcome relief and a burden lifted but I find it increasingly difficult to have to go begging for every bit of information about my mom, and out of fear of becoming a pest not asking for nearly as much as I would like. Today I thought - wouldn't it be easier if we could have online access to their daily care records?
And even though I am there every day (often multiple times a day) I can't say that there is anyone working there who I would consider a confidant. Some are better communicators than others but I never am told anything I don't specifically ask about (except medication changes, which are mandated) or anything beyond what I see with my own eyes. After a year I had my first chat with her doctor just yesterday, he kept talking about how we all needed to be on the same page but it wasn't until later I realized that he never really said what page he was on. Mrs W is declining... was that a question or a statement?