Adjusting to your LO's decrease in ability.
It's just over a month since R's cancer surgery and he in the pre-op process for his knee surgery. I think it is too soon but he is in the health system and they are pushing him through. He doesn't want to lose his place as he has been waiting a long time for this and it is painful for him to walk - has been for years. He told me today he failed the stress test due to breathing problems he has been having - possibly due exposure to the wildfire smoke. I don't know if the problems are permanent or how that affect the plans for the knee surgery. He never has had breathing problems before and passed all his medicals well.
A few months ago he would have sailed through a stress test. Truthfully I am shocked.
I have taken over managing the condo flooring and cleaning from him. Thankfully I found someone to finish the flooring as the guy that was doing it is being a bit of a prima donna. I'll do this but you do that!" sort of thing. I believe it is only about a day or at the most 2 days’ work left. I will make all the other arrangements that are needed and have told him to concentrate on his health and getting well as he is by no means recovered from the earlier surgery though the surgeon had cleared him for the next surgery.
This is a big adjustment for both of us. I am thankful he has finally accepted that he can't do the moving and whatever else. Before his surgery he thought he could and I felt he had to find out for himself - and he did.
I am grateful that I can take over despite my age and my health issues. This whole moving experience has been riddled with problems - some in our control, more not in our control.
I really need your prayers and support to get me through this and moved to the condo. It needs to happen and soon!
Thanks, friends.
You got it!
More prayers for both you and R.
He will need a bit of help once at home from knee surgery-much more than can be planned ahead for. I agree with you, it's too soon for surgery, and maybe should be re-scheduled. After all that you both have been through, even a few weeks could find things improved enough. Can he get a breathing treatment?
Anyway, just here for the prayers! I never had knee surgery.
I appreciate the prayers.
Just heard from R and his breathing difficulties are bronchitis, no doubt due to the smoke. He is starting to feel better. He said it was bad when he was driving to his appointments - a 4 hr. drive. He is on antibiotics. This is unusual as he hasn't had bronchitis since I have known him.
In addition, his knee is too unstable for a successful outcome so they are setting him up with physio to strengthen the muscles. I suspect his inactivity post prostate surgery is part of the cause of that.
Both things are fixable but will take time. Needless to say he is very frustrated. I am so relieved that it is bronchitis and not allergies/asthma.
God has a plan.
Frankly I am thankful the knee surgery is put off a bit. I think it is much too soon after his prostate surgery to have another surgery. It's a complicated one as they will have to replace his knee and realign the bones in his lower leg which have bowed out due to his knee issues - rods or something.
Once again we have a delay in getting the condo ready. I have a guy who will go in and finish the work now, and R is stuck in Grande Prairie for the next while - hopefully only a few days. And so it goes...
Also I have been thinking that R simply isn't ready for another surgery yet, I believe it is medically crazy to be setting him up for another surgery so soon. The knee is not urgent. He hasn't recovered fully from the previous surgery - still has issues related to it. In my mind he needs to achieve his "new normal" before going ahead with the next surgery, or his recovery from this one will be much more difficult and prolonged.
As well as being inactive for a month before this assessment, R has worn a brace on his knee pretty regularly the last few years as it helps with the pain. Of course it will not help with his muscle strength. Muscles get weaker when you wear a brace. QED (does anyone remember what that means?)
I did make contact with the guy who can finish the renos here and we will chat this afternoon.
The movers will be contacted again next week.
Goodness how I wish moving was a linear process, but it just isn't. I have been a natural multitasker all my life, but as I have gotten older I like it less.
Sil and dgs will come and mow etc. for me this weekend. So grateful! Dgs needs to learn to tend a lawn and garden anyway.
No, I don't remember, and it is going to bug me.
QED Quod Erat Demonstratum
QED Quantum Electrodynamics Physics
QED Qualitative European Drug Research
QED Quick and Easy Drawings
QED Quality Education Data, Inc.
QED Quantum Electro Dynamics
QED Qualitative Evaluation of Dementia
QED Quick Epicenter Determination(s)
QED Quantum Electronic Devices
QED quantitative ethanol detector
Adding:
or QED is an initialism of the Latin phrase quod erat demonstrandum, meaning "which was to be demonstrated". Literally it states "what was to be shown".
In context of your statement "muscles get weaker when you wear a brace"
might mean
As it has been shown or proven.
As it was demonstrated, R.'s muscle got weaker after wearing a knee brace.
Ok, I think I've got it!
Like those proofs we had to memorize ?
Definition. Latin abbreviation for quod erat demonstrandum: "Which was to be demonstrated." Q.E.D. may appear at the conclusion of a text to signify that the author's overall argument has just been proven.
Way - yes, Geometry. I loved it. You only had to memorize the first 4 theorems and then you could figure out the rest.
According to R the physio is helping. The reno guy is coming here tomorrow.
I am so sorry everything has been so difficult. You can count on me to say prayers for you and R.
He sounds like such a sweetheart. It’s always hard to see those we love declining. I hope that he gets better soon. He’s very fortunate to have you in his life.
Dear soul, he has even done some more of the flooring since his op. I've told him I have someone to finish it all and he should just concentrate on recovering,
Need, he has many good qualities, and like us all, some not so good ones. I don't know what I would have done without him during the mother care years. He was beside me and behind me in everything. We have worked on our relationship and I am happy with where we are at and where we are going. One of the things that endears him to many is that he has a gentle kindness to him and he is old fashioned polite (e.g. opens doors for people). That reminds me of my father who was courteous even on his death bed. Getting teary now thinking of my father.
The old CFS/FM has reared up again. It comes on like a thundercloud, stays for a while then leaves. I was going to take dd and fam to supper after they do the garden work, but that probably shouldn't happen now as I have the reno guy coming tomorrow and I need to conserve my energy for that. Always something!
Made it out to supper with dd and fam. It was very nice. It's almost scary watching a large, still growing, 17 yr old boy eat. A big platter of Parmesan chicken with spaghetti, garlic toast and fries. 🍝 Then when he was waiting for desert he ate the rest of his mothers rice bowl. Desert was a chocolate explosion which disappeared quickly. 🎂
Saw the reno guy yesterday and I think he will work out well. He can start in two weeks.
Contacted the movers 🚛 and the lady will come to figure out a revised estimate next week.
Talked with R on the phone and he had to hang up as he was coughing too much. Says he is getting better and the physio is helping with his knee. We won't talk on the phone till the bronchitis is better.
My real estate guy from the condo can recommend a cleaners. 🧹
Just waiting for R to return to let the guy in to finish the flooring, and let the cleaners in after.
I think I can see a light at the end of this very long convoluted tunnel I have been in. Some relief! 😌😅
Hopefully there will be no more illnesses, broken sewer lines or such to get in the way.
You have been busy! It will be nice when you can relax after everything is settled.
I have a list of tasks to do and I'm gonna get them done!!! That's all folks!
Hopefully there s something good at the end of it.
Then, you will reap the rewards of your hard work and finally be able to relax for a while.
I’m supposed to be getting a new driveway soon . They were supposed to call today with the start date…….
I find that as we get older, less is more!
Good luck Way and Golden with transitioning to a simpler life!
You’ve been busy too!
Our health has to take priority over everything else.
Houses and cars are never maintenance free! It’s always something, isn’t it?
It’s funny how acquiring the larger home in our favored neighborhood is so important to us when we are younger.
Then as we get older, and our kids move on it becomes more than we need.
That’s a lot of land!
You know what I mean, our homes are generally larger than the houses that we grew up in.
We shared bedrooms. Most of our kids had their own rooms.
Keeping up with a home and a large yard is a lot of work!
I don’t think we need a large house or yard. Downsizing is nice as we age. I definitely don’t get the ‘tiny homes’ craze though. That’s going from one extreme to another.
And what about people who buy RV’s. There are some beautiful RV’s today, but who wants to drive those super expensive luxury RV’s when we are older?
I swear I would crash it in one day! LOL 😆
I could live in one of those fancy RV’s! Some of them are larger than some apartments in NY.
LOL, When my brother left Tulane and went to NY, he lived in a teeny tiny apartment. I swear, his kitchen was about the size of a very small closet! He managed to cook great meals in his tiny kitchen. He didn’t need a big place. No wife or partner, only a cat who lived over 20 years! I loved visiting him in NY.
Oh, I know that I would most certainly crash one of those massive RV’s! LOL 😆 Still, it would be fun to be a gypsy and be able to drive your RV to a new location every month or so.
Wait, could you live in a hotel? I could!!!
My brother moved from NY to DC. He prefers NY. Both locations are good for him as an investment banker. He owns penthouse suites in hotels. I could easily live in a hotel.
I quite like holidaying in a half ton with a camper on the back. It's not as unwieldy an RV. R likes tenting but my tenting days were over a while ago. We did about 10 years ago and the inflatable mattress didn't inflate and it rained. I still enjoyed it. Nothing like food cooked over an open fire. 🔥
I think most of us have to downsize at some point. It makes sense. We were thinking of another house down there but I backed off. So glad I did now.
Need - I could live in a hotel happily.
Way - that's a lot of grass to mow. Sorry about your dh's injury.
Bedtime here! 😴💤
and thanks .