I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
One of our sons is here and he is skyping/video chatting (not sure which, but he can see her on the monitor) his long distance girlfriend.
She has a free-range tortoise. (wanders the house) Called Charley (Its a girl but what-ever. lol)
She has been preparing for Christmas. That includes Charley.
Tortoise now has a red hat with a white pom-pom. She wanders the house with it on.
Had me in hysterics (I wasn't expecting it) So cute and funny.
My first smile today, so I am sharing it with you.
Buzzy
A people potato shelf :)
Lunch and Dinner.
After several questions of a general nature he ask G'Pa if he ever killed anyone.
After a pause G'Pa replied, probably, I was the cook.
Don't worry, it’s just a touch of tinsellitis!
You can hide but you can't run.
The art of slicing a cake in such a way that everyone believes they received the biggest piece.
she is not coming back,
so stop asking Y.
On your lips, a colour to enhance your beauty of your mouth.
BUT same colour on his collar, is one only a tramp would wear.
What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost!
Argument
A discussion that occurs when you're right, and continues until he realizes it.
Would it be called a sponge?
Gramps got up and asked Grandma if she wanted ice cream?
Grandma said, ok if you don't forget what you went to go get....
Gramps pulled 2 bowls out, answered the phone (wrong number), and looked back at the counter.
Unable to remember what the bowls were for, he served up some chili off the stove that was still warm.
Upon his return with Grandma's chill, she snapped back:
I told you that you would forget crackers!
Check for the Snow Balls!
You say, "Hey dog, gimme some gum." :)
The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
You guessed, snow flakes.
The funeral we had just attended came off as subdued and very good taste. So on the way home I decided to call VA and find out how we could get buried at the veterans cemetery. I called the VA office in LA and after giving my personal background the VA representative told me that she was sorry that we couldn’t be buried in the veterans cemetery because I wasn't a veteran. I told her that I was in the service with 22 continuous years including a year I had spent in Vietnam.
She responded, “Yes, but you weren’t wounded!” I argued and then she put me on hold and admitted that her supervisor said that being wounded was not a requirement. I certainly wasn't going to ask any significant questions of this dunce, but I couldn't resist rattling her cage.
We are in Nevada and although the federal government owns millions of acres of land, when it comes to Veterans Cemeteries burial plots are rationed. I believe this is true all over the country but I’m not sure.
The way it works is when the husband dies he is buried at the veteran’s cemetery. When the wife dies they dig up the husband put the wife in the plot and then put him back in on top of her. Most civilians are not familiar with this procedure and many veterans are unaware of it.
Nevertheless, that’s the way it works. So when this expert from the VA came back on the phone, I couldn’t resist asking her what we do if the wife dies first. I told her that we were thinking of storing her in the garage, but lately were considering just laying her out on the dining table because that would be more respectful. I don’t remember the expert’s answer, but she had previously lost her main argument that “You weren't wounded so you are not a veteran.”
The truth is, if the wife dies first, she receives a proper burial at the gravesite with her own name on the grave marker. When the husband dies, he is buried in the same plot and a new marker losing both of their names is substituted.
We are both going to be cremated so we’ll have no trouble squeezing into one space.
"Do you small carrot? "
Fantastic until it is found out he is peeing in the fridge. lol
I am 73 and so glad I have to sit to go. hahaha
It was already stuffed.