I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
than to open your mouth and prove it.
Bit like me :s
"What's the name of the other eye?"
She said, "How do you know he was on his way to work?"
"Is this stool taken?"
- get the cat on your arms like a baby
- press the sides of his mouth, so he opens it
- throw the pill in
- tickle his nose, he will have no choice but swallow.
Worked like a charm.
Funny thing is, I thought the cream would be more difficult, since I would be touching a hurt area, but he accepted it well. Maybe the medicine was painkiller. However:
Vet: "to avoid the cat licking the cream, play with him for three-to-five minutes, letting the medicine dry.
Very smart me used his hands to play with the cat. Ouch-ouch-ouch.
Icy dead people
P.S. I crushed the pills and sprinkled on their food then popped a little more food on top. :)
I ended up poking it down her throat.
How did you win?
So I was there, caregiver of my mother.
BUT my sister-in-law got a temporary job and started leaving her two daughters at my parents house, two angels of six and four years.
So I was there, caregiver of my mother and sitter of two girls.
I promisse all those barbies and nail polish didn't hurt my masculinity.
A week laker, the cat appeared with a leg injuried. Rush to the vet, she said not to worry, he just fought another cat or dog.
"Here, twice a day give him these pills and aply this cream."
So I was there, caregiver of my mother, sitter of two girls and nurse of a cat.
Do you think I got any work done?
A coda:
I asked the vet how could I give pill to the cat. She said it was easy, Just mix with a food he likes, and he will swallow it.
I got a small strip of ham and wrapped up the pill on it.
The *beeeeppp* pet unwrapped it, ate the ham and left the pill.
I was all "Oh, yeah? You ancestors were licking their butts, mine were discovering the fire. You're still licking your butt. Let's see who wins."
I got a tiny chunk of cheese, bury the pill inside it, gave to the cat.
"Unwrap it now, you freak."
He ate around the pill.
"Well," she replies, "You succeeded."
A: To be sure, to be sure
Say it with an Irish accent. :)
"No," Joe said. "I trust in the Lord. He will not abandon me."
So the neighbor drove off and the rain started and soon the first floor of Joe's house was underwater. Two men in a rowboat saw Joe in a second story window and rowed over. "Mister, you better come with us or you'll be drowned. There's room for one more in our boat."
"No," Joe said. "I trust in the Lord. He will not abandon me."
The men rowed away and it rained even harder, and before long the second floor of Joe's house was underwater. Joe was sitting on the roof when a Coast Guard rescue ship approached him. "Come on, Mister," the captain yelled, "Get on board or you'll be killed by the floodwaters!"
"No," Joe said. "I trust in the Lord. He will not abandon me."
The Coast Guard left, and the rain continued to pour down until the only thing left visible above water was Joe straddling the chimney. A helicopter hovered down and dropped a rope ladder. "Come on, buddy, climb up to safety. It's your last chance!"
"No," Joe said. "I trust in the Lord. He will not abandon me."
The helicopter flew off, and the rain continued to fall and Joe and his house were completely consumed by the deluge. The house washed away and Joe drowned.
As he stood before the Lord he said, "Lord, I trusted in you and yet you let me drown! Why?"
"Well," said the Lord, "I sent two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?"
My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire."
When the lady goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments, “Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife, all those lovely names you call her…”
The man looks at him, “To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about 3 years ago.”
Read more funny jokes: https://short-funny.com/marriage-wife-husband-jokes-3.php#ixzz5WXYxmV1F
One says Ah call my husband "Elephant man" cos he's hung like a big trunk
The other says, well I call my man "Tia Maria",
To which the first replies, Tia Maria? Are you kidding me? Ain't that some kind of fancy liquer.
To which the other replied, it sure is!
–
“Your sense of humour.”
There's nothing like the joy on a kid's face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
"Honey, I'm home"
But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".