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What can I try without making her upset ?

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Have you met my Mother? She is 89, frail and now has chronic diarrhea.. ( yes we have been to the Dr). She also thinks she is fat, at 85 lbs. She is winding down, and tired, and it is a struggle to get her to eat anything.. I swear she maybe eats 500 cal a day, and 2 glasses of Port wine a night ( she won't stop, and her Dr says let it be) Maybe a few times a week she eats a meal, or part of one. I think it is part of the end of life arriving . Without more info on your wife I don't know, but maybe it helps to know you are not alone in this
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Pam

I am going through the same thing with my mother minus the Port wine. My mother does drink chicken broth, tea and water, but for solid foods maybe a few things a week. I made NY steaks yesterday which is her favorite, she only took 2 or 3 bites and a bite of her rice. She did eat all her mushrooms. She is sleeping more than my cats!! Winding down indeed!
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A friend of mine gave me the advice to not pressure but to place something with a good smell close to them and walk away. Soup, chocolate, something they used to like - make sure they can smell it. In some cases, the smell triggers them and they start to eat it.
Good luck
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There is a med that stimulates the appetite. Is your mom losing weight? Weigh her at least weekly to know. You will feel better if she is not and can report it to her dr if she is.
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What kind of appetite does she normally have? Has her appetite decreased a lot? Appetites can fluctuate. Is her weight dropping? What does her doctor say?

Can you tell us a bit more please?
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Don’t put a lot of food on her plate either. I am not a big eater and I don’t like if someone serves me enough food for 2 or 3 meals!
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When I had a lower body infection, from a pierced kidney, I couldn’t eat for 6 mos., I only drank water and Gatorade! As I did with my Stage 4b I’ve cancer, I took 7 Texas Superfood capsules a day. It kept me healthy, supplied all of my vitamins, until my system healed, or figured out what it wanted! I did the same during bacterial, spinal meningitis! I am living proof, this product works! Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! 2 fatal diseases I didn’t die from! Beat that!
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Have you discussed it with her doctor? Since my LO became so ill, I started reading a lot about nutrition with seniors and the infirmed. It seems that there are many reasons they may not be able to eat. Most suggest that you consider things like dental health (see if there is tooth or gum pain), indigestion, etc. or the food could be too much too chew. So, they recommend small portions. Your profile says that your wife has dementia, so, she may have forgotten how to chew or swallow. But, the primary thing that I read is that sometimes, the body just stops being able to process food and it knows when it's time to stop eating. I'd ask her doctor about it and see if they have any advice and if they can figure out what is going on with her. Has she lost much weight yet?
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If she's not eating, is she still drinking? Coffee? Iced Tea? Milkshakes or smoothies?

My grandmother went through a spell when her hemoglobin was too low where she would not feed herself but would accept food from a teaspoon placed on her lip. She would chew and swallow normally after she accepted the food/drink.

I suggest trying small amounts of flavorful soften foods offered every couple of hours. Meatloaf or Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes. Ice cream melted and stirred until it's soft serve consistency. Applesauce, maybe with some cinnamon? Puddings? Banana? Watermelon or cantaloupe cut into small pieces? Spaghetti? Mac and cheese? Scalloped potatoes? Knorr pasta or rice sides? Soups? Sometimes sitting and eating with someone encourages their eating too.

Some frozen fruit (strawberries, blueberries, bananas, pineapples, etc.) blended with a little ice cream and some pound or angel food cake makes a good dessert smoothie with a bit of texture.
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The OP posted this 4+ weeks ago and hasn’t been back
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