My hubby eats like there is someone going to take away his food...when we go out to a buffet it is fine..I can get mine he and get his...and he knows..he can go back..When we go out to a reg dinner...he eats his meal so fast and stares at mine...finally I give in and let him eat my meal...what is left of it...it seems he has an appetite that is horrid...today he had his fish dinner with cole slaw and Ffrys..I had Oyster dinner and we had ordered 6 hard crabs...I got one Oyster...cause his dinner came first...and then he wanted mine...I gave it knowing the crabs were coming...when they came he was still eating the oyster for a MINUTE...then he had me picking crab meat for him and all the time SAYING I shouldn't be eating this cause you like it so much better than I do...then he said..GIVE ME THE CLAWS...give me the backfin....then I ordered 6 more...thinking I could finally have something...and he ate all that...with me getting in some FINS to squeeze the meat out of...and parts of the body of the crab...I kept saying to myself...be a good Christian...you know he is ill...just let him have it....so I did...I think I could have ordered 20 meals..and not go one to eat....he is doing this all the time now...I don't really like going to the buffet and I like crabs...but I don't like picking them for him...or for anyone ...LOL...and we are not rich where he can eat 3 or 4 dinners just cause I am still eating...Talking does not good...I do ask him to mind his manners before we go in...but then I look and he is SHOVELING what seems like a HEAD of BROCCOLI in his face ...and trying to eat Chicken and it falling from his mouth....I eat Sushi...and that is what I get...he does not like it..so I can at least eat my entire sushi roll...LOL
Your story made me think of my brother. His wife keeps him on a healthy diet at home, so when he goes out, he pigs out. He is like a kid at the candy store consuming all things normally denied to him. Maybe it is what your husband is doing. I don't see any harm if he can keep his weight in check and he doesn't bankrupt the buffets you go to.
I do have to chuckle, it reminded me of my male cat who use to pull the dish out from under the female cat who was trying to eat.... and every time she try again to eat, he would do it again.... eventually that dish wound up on the other side of kitchen :)
I guess you best bet is to order something you know your hubby doesn't care to eat.
How is his eating behavior at home?
Dementia can have very weird effects on appetite and also on metabolism. Discuss your husband's eating with his doctor and see if there is any medical intervention for this.
Is he capable of picking his own crabs? That would surely slow him down a bit.
A restaurant I like has a buffet salad bar and the rest of the meal from a menu. That might be ideal for you two. He could finish his meal and go back to the salad bar as much as he liked while you finished your meal. Are there any places like that in your area?
Meanwhile, you deserve some pleasant meals on your own. Can you arrange care for him at mealtime? If he could go to an adult day care center a few days a week you could have a lovely lunch on your own or with a friend.