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Do not know what to do

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Faye, you are not alone.
Please go to Al Anon at your nearest and earliest convenience. If there is no Al Anon there will be an AA. You need the advice and counsel of people who have BEEN THERE. They will have ideas for you.

There is utterly nothing you can do about or for an alcoholic. They have to address their alcoholism themselves. Or not. But you can do something about yourself and that basically comes down to staying or going. I don't know how long you have stayed, and I hope you haven't left this so long that you no longer have the strength to address it, but I do wish you the absolute best and can tell you that there is a whole lot of support out there just waiting for you with open arms and great advice.
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If you have a local women’s domestic abuse shelter you need to contact them, relate your situation, and ask for help. Alva’s pointing out Al Anon is an excellent resource as well. I’m so sorry your situation is worsening and hope you’ll find your way to safety soon
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If you don't have active in-person meetings in your area, check out the
al-anon.org website. There are plenty of Al-Anon electronic and telephone meetings. Call the number on the website and someone can plug you into meetings in your city or state. If you are in another country, there are international Al-Anon meetings.

There is help available.
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Call a lawyer for guidance immediately. Even before you go to an Al Anon meeting. And call 911 the MOMENT your husband raises a hand to you or threatens you in any way. Tell the police you are frightened for your life, living with an abusive alcoholic. Get him towed off to jail and then press charges against him. That will buy you time to get your ducks in a row, financially and legally, before divorcing the bum.

I'm very sorry you have been going thru such a thing for so long. I pray that God gives you the strength, the courage and the voice to say ENOUGH.
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Call the police like Lealonnie posted. You do not need to live with violence and being terrorized in your own home.

This is what the ladies in Al-Anon would recommend. We do not accept unacceptable behavior whether a person is drinking or not.

I had a situation where I had a spouse who was violent without his medications and was dually addicted. One of the ladies in the other program told me to put him out. She said why do you need to inconvenience yourself and your daughter by leaving your home. Besides, where was I going to go? I packed up his things and had them taken down to his mother's house. By this time he had already gone to treatment and relapsed for the third or fourth time and was staying with his mother. She was a sweet woman and didn't deserve any of this either. He was her baby and she wouldn't allow him to hit bottom.

You reach your limit, and I had reached mine. He was dragging us all down with him, and I was allowing this nonsense to happen in my home. I was missing days out work. I could have gotten fired myself. My supervisor was not too happy about that since others had to cover the desk for me. My health was pretty bad (stress related), and I had severe back and stomach issues the majority of the time managing to go to work and putting on a brave front. Being at work was my only outlet along with being in school. I had Al-Anon. I think without Al-Anon, I don't know what I would have done.

Living with someone who is violent and abusive is no picnic to live with. It was even worse after he lost his job.

No, I did not leave my apartment. Last I heard, ex got help from the state that included housing, food and clothing. We have been divorced since 1999. Not sure if he ever hit that bottom. He could talk good AA program, but putting it into action was the challenge. Action speaks louder than words.
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