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I feel so tired and depressed. What I am dealing with is overwhelming. I am reaching out for help, but it's slow and not always enough or what is needed. I just feel like stopping. I have way too much responsibility for one person. I feel like crying, but I can't. Does anyone else feel this way? And I love my mom, too, but this is too much. I don't deserve this. I wish I could cry. I feel like i'm just a utility that other people use. I want to be loved and cared for too. I just needed to vent. I am so unhappy and tired and sad. I need relief.

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Annabelle, it is really hard to have another person move in and it takes a while to adjust. It was good to read your mom is doing ok cognitively though.

I hope you'll feel better soon. Is the noise the biggest issue? Some people have something called misophonia where certain noises really bother them and can be very agitating.
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I think all caregivers have days when "this is too much." But you've been in this state for a while, haven't you? I think this isn't a passing frustration. I think this situation really is too much for you. You need help. Perhaps the help of moving your mother out into a suitable place of her own. Assisted Living? Subsidized housing? You need help figuring this out and help making it happen.

Who have you reached out to so far, where you are not getting the right kind of help?

Are you sleeping better now?
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Thx for keeping track of me : ) called a mental health counsellor and aging and adult services. Noise is part of it and also no time to myself and can't handle it financially and forced to interact with my sister who I have hated for decades I'm not giving up but the stress and lack of free time is very very unhealthy for me
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Going to bed now but tomorrow I'll try to give you my schedule so you can see what I mean I literally have no time when I am not working
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Dear AnnabelleB,

Hugs to you my friend. I know you are doing everything you can. Its only natural to feel overwhelmed and tired. Please know we are all here to listen and support you in anyway we can. I know its very hard.

I went through the same thing with my dad. I tried to do everything but after while I started to ask myself "how long can it go on for?" I've always been the good girl in my family. The giver. The pleaser. The good two shoes. But I was getting burned out. I desperately wished now I could have done something different. I feel my anger and resentment with my siblings greatly affected my ability to care for my dad in the last year of his life. He didn't deserve my impatience even thought I am only human.

I hope you can get the help you need and find that balance. Thinking of you.
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