I am dealing with a family who has NEVER had any issues with health or death close to them. My husbands family. My father in law has alzheimers and was released from his driving job over 18 months ago, he was tested and is on meds, but the problem is he should not be driving and my mother in law was told to have him tested and she refused. He is getting lost, does not remember the kids grandkids, or her half the time. She is sending him out to run errands and get dinner, then complains that he does not get it right. she has issues herself and I think as long as she does not have to do anything she won't.
There are three kids in the family. The oldest keeps to her self and just won't get involved. The middle child is living off her parents and will not go against her mom wishes for fear she will end her money source. The last is my husband who is so upset over his father that he does not know what to do and is trying to keep peace, but is also not stepping up.
I have tried to step up only to be told to stay out it all. I am not sure what to do. I have contacted the police and gave them his license plate number, but other than that what else can I do? Alz.org has wonderful free help who will come to your house and she refuses to contact anyone and said she will never tell him he can't drive. I am afraid he will hurt himself, get lost, or God forbid someone else. How do I get this family to wake up and realize that this is no longer a game, it is serious and he needs daily care and he does not need to be driving all over town and running errands. I am so frustrated and dont' know what to do. Any help or suggestions would be so appreciated.
At that time options will be discussed those being, give up drivers license and get a ID card, or take the drivers test with a state trooper. If he wants to take the test, then it is up to the trooper to decide whether or not he will be allowed to keep his license. Most likely he will not pass the test. Problem solved with wife sending him out on errands. The ball is in her court to find new errand runner and people will be safe on the streets since he will not be driving anymore.
My father in law is a sweet man and I know if the roles were reversed he would make sure his wife had the best care and would ask us for help. It would be different is they had a close relationship to begin with, they have not in over 20 years. So this upsets me even more that I feel like she is just not "caring" and just feels she does not need to do anything to make his life more enjoyable, which is what she should be doing.
I love this website and all the help and the support, this is truely a blessing to me.
Thank you all.