Moving 86 yr old Mom out of state to be closer to me, her only child. I'm worried she might decline, but dr suggested selling her house since it has stairs and she has fallen a couple of times recently. She currently gets around good and drives. Memory and cognitivity are getting questionable, or it could be that she doesn't hear well and won't wear her hearing aids. Her house is almost sold and she wanted to lease an apartment in the town she lives. I'm concerned about random other tenants since it is not a senior apartment complex. I've been trying to get her to move closer to me. I have found a nice Independent Living facility in my town where they provide meals, transportation, activities and housekeeping. I have her convinced to come do it, but now I am having second thoughts. She has lived in the same house for over 47 years. I worry that any move is going to cause mental stress and possibly down cline. Part of me wonders if that is a hidden trick to Independent Living facilities as well, like, a few months down the road they tell me that she needs assisted living instead of independent. Any thoughts/suggestions?
And whether that is near you or where your mom lives, that is up to the 2 of you, but in all reality I'm guessing that having her closer to you would benefit you greatly as you won't have to running back and forth from one state to another.
I wish you well in getting your mom settled in whichever place she decides to live.
Good luck.
You made this decision.
Will it be hard? Yes, it will. But a decline, which you know is coming, will make things harder and moves may not be possible.
Your mom and you decided on this. Continue on.
And yes, the one certainty is that independent living WILL progress to ALF. But no, I think I have never heard of them suggesting that move without very very good reason.
Just do what you think is best. Things will not go perfectly. Moves are very difficult at any age. Do what you BOTH together decide is for the best after you make the pros and cons list. Pro: I am near daughter and she can help me manage the changes that WILL come. Con: I am leaving friends, doctors I know and it's a pain in the neck.
To be honest, with any move, initially, and before it is done it is ALL cons. Loss of home, friends, town and doctors you know, all the address changes and set ups. It's VERY difficult.
But what choices are there? Because changes are on their way. And you have together concluded this is the best way to address them.
Good luck. Yes, there will be moments for you BOTH. That's part of it.