News from Italy

The home assistant the agency came yesterday from 7.30 till 14.30 and I went to my office.
Mum was delighted with her ! She not only looked after my mum but cleaned her flat too. Moreover, she likes animals so she doesnt mind our bunny being around.
I feel so much better ! I know I can go to work much more relaxed.

Anche, I’m so sorry to hear about another lockdown. Here in NY they are starting to lift restrictions.

A new lockdown for us starting on Monday... :-(

My suggestion clearly won't work. Like it used to say on old games, 'Nice try but no cigar'.

In an office where I worked, one of the receptionists was a real pain, but the boss just couldn’t see it. Then the boss went on maternity leave, I did the job, and found the answer – difficult worker was a real grease artist! It happens.

Margaret this person lives in Rome far away from Padua (near Venice). She is not even a colleague but the employee of one of our suppliers. She even did something very close to something illegal which could get the company I work with into troubles. My boss is glad I discovered it and I could prevent problems so he called her boss to let him know. But her boss asked mine why I checked... She is so charming and I am nasty.. . He put the blame on me for discovering it.
I won't tell all the naughty things she is doing... It would take too long. One of my bosses told me to do my job and not to bother but she is making it impossible for me to work normally. I spend half my time adjusting her mistakes

Your work ‘colleague’ may be a very nasty person, but perhaps she doesn’t understand the position and thinks that you are getting away with something. Perhaps you could invite her around for a coffee (and of course to go through something about work). Perhaps if she sees the situation she may be more helpful. Doing this is a nuisance, but coping with a colleague who is complaining to the boss can be even more of a nuisance. If it’s possible, it could be worth the effort?

Anche,

That’s wonderful that you found help with your mom. It will take some of the pressure off of you.

Let us know how it goes.

I would send that woman an email reminding her that she is to use your email address for any correspondence.

Some news while I am in the waiting room at my therapist's.
I have met today the lady found by the agency to help me.
She seems nice and has years of experience.
I feel really relieved.
Having problems with my job though... I talked previously about a collaborator I am working with... I think she wants to create problems... I asked everyone not to call but to email me. Everyone is fine with that but her... Accusing me it has been impossible to call me the last weeks. She is not even a colleague, she is a supplier... My director is fine with me working when I can and not answering the phone... But she is complaining. And I can't answer her back because she will try to play the poor victim.

I hope things are much better in N Italy than I saw on the news a year ago.

They are calling it the Paniversary here... can you believe it is one year that our lives changed so much?

"This too will pass" is a comment I have heard this last year a lot - especially from caregivers doing it tough.

Hope things continue to improve for you. Life is returning to a new normal here. Even the Swiss-Italian festival is back on this year!

Anche, wishing you well and I hope you keep coming back!! We all care!!

Anche,

I am married to an Italian. I love him with all my heart.

So glad that you are feeling better. There isn’t any need for any apologies.

Italians are the best! 😊

I am taking a pause right now, am working in my kitchen... It is almost 9.53 am in Italy at the moment.
I'll write a short post to answer everyone.
Starting from the drone : no, it was not me to sent it.
Really, let's forget about my mistake in posting in Paul's thread. being so tired (sleeping 2 hours max. per night in a week) I confused it with my whine moment I guess.
I am feeling better today, could sleep and the fact that I am finding a solution is helping. I see a light... I was feeling so desperate the other day !
Margaret, I am actually Italian, was born in Geneva where I lived my first 11 years, but we moved here in 1982.
Have to go back to my job now.
I once againt thank you all !

So glad things are moving forward, Anche.

Everyone needs a break from caregiving. It’s exhausting.

Please let us know how things are going.

We care!

Hi Anche, thank you so much for making your own post. I’m very glad that you have stuck with the forum. I’ve had a very sound thrashing on Paul’s thread for suggesting it, so I’m glad it hasn’t put you off the site.

You asked about transferring your old posts, so I am copying them here for you. I cut out ‘the thoughts’ because I hope you aren’t feeling so bad now, and the words do get everyone running.

Here we go, from the beginning on March 6:
“Mum fell and broke a pelvis bone last Friday. She must stay in bed for 1 month. For this week I did everything on my own, my cousin who works in a hospital came to help me washing her in bed. I have also been working at home... I had a break down yesterday. Think my life has no sense. I have been taking care for my elderly mom for 11 years now. But she could go to the toilet and eat... I don't think I can go on like that. I am looking for help.

“Thank God I have a wonderful husband and a great son. I could get some sleep this afternoon and feeling a little bit better. There might be a new hard lockdown in Italy: I hope I will still be able to find someone to help me.

“According to my therapist I probably have too high a standard for myself. Or maybe as a friar once told when you love someone you think you could do more, when you don't you think you are doing too much. But now, I know I love her but that is too much for me to bear on my shoulders. I have an appointment with my therapist on Thursday... Hope it will be possible for me to go there... I sometimes feel so tired, but I have my husband and my son who give me a reason to live.

“I have been feeling better today. A friend came to visit and we went out for a short walk. My husband was at home so my mom was not alone. Mom doesn't complain, I know she is sorry I have to look after her. It is just hard to do everything and it is even worse from an emotional point of view: I am afraid I could hurt her, it is hard to see her shrinking and so dependent on me, it is a heavy burden to feel responsible for her health for such a long time. A friend of mine, a nurse, told me my mom would have died a long time ago if not for my good care. Now I am just scared not being able to go on like that with this heavy mental burden."
*****
Final words from me are that I hope you are coping OK, and that your mother is as well as she can be. It sounds as though you are doing well at finding your way around the Italian healthcare system, which is great. Remember that you are not totally responsible for her life, it's always out of our hands.

Please keep us posted. Yours with love, Margaret

PS I think it was you who sent us drone footage last year of the early lockdown in Rome, totally empty. My daughter Jenny is an Italophile (if there is such a word), and spent a couple of years working as an accountant in Milan after learning Italian in school. I was impressed that a school subject had such good results. I sent her the footage you gave us, and she was just dumb struck! You made her very happy and we remember it well. Thank you again xxx