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92-year-old very narcissistic toxic mother who has burned all her bridges, leaving me as her former go to for bullying and abuse. I have blocked her calls on my cell. and informed the Director of her senior living community of the situation. She can reach our landline for emergencies. I order her groceries online to be delivered and send her the bill once a month so she can reimburse me. She refuses to get a debit card. I had to go no contact because of the effect she has on my physical and emotional heath. ' I am 68 with a lot of health issues. Since moving into her apartment 5 years ago. she has purchased 2 new mattresses to the tune of 4700.00. She is delusional and has moderate dementia. She is obsessed with getting a third new mattress, which she can ill afford. She is leaving tearful messages about how she can’t sleep on a "69-year-old mattress”., which I ignore but she is like a dog with a bone and never stops. I showed her receipts from the 2 mattresses she bought, with her name and address and delivery date, and she says they never came. I told her I would not be a party to her pissing away more of her money. She doesn’t drive and I told her she could figure out how to order a mattress by herself. What else can I do? She refuses to take anti-anxiety meds from her Dr because she feels she is perfect and everyone else is out to get her. She also refuses to get a geriatric neuro assessment. My late handicapped dad enabled her every whim. Just to service and keep peace and created a spoiled brat. 92 going on 5. She is in a lovely community, but I feel will soon need to move to Assisted Living wing there. She makes everyone’s life a living hell' and I have no compassion left to deal with her. She has been this way all her life and should never have had children' .

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Good for you refusing to play her nonsense games. Yes, she has dementia but she is also an entitled, spoiled brat who got her own way her entire life.
She's in AL. They get paid to deal with her nonsense. Let them do it.
Do you have POA and control over her finances? If you do then get a debit card on your own from the bank.
If you don't have control of her money, you need to get it because her mind isn't right.
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Good job.
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Referred her to Adult Protective Services today. Shes burned her last bridge with my brother and me.
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Her Dementia is causing her to forget she already bought 2 mattresses, the reason she says the other is 69 years old. You also can't reason with her. You may have to place Mom in the AL section sooner than later. I hope you have POA so you can take over her accts.

My Dad went before my Mom. She spoiled him so glad I did not have to care for him. Loved him but he was old school thinking married women had certain duties. Be because of him, my DH is not spoiled where he is waited on hand and foot. He is very able to do for himself. Our parents do us no favors by spoiling each other where they feel the kids need to carry it on. At our wedding reception, held in our new home, I was busy making sure everything was being done. My MIL came up and asked me if I was going to make a platter for my now husband. I told her he was a big boy and was capable of getting himself a platter. He was 5' 11 and weighed 200#.

Good that you set boundries.
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I’d have a meeting with the director and any other available staff where she lives and attempt to enlist their help. Perhaps they have perspective on when it’s time for mom to move to another level of care. Maybe they can require documents such as medical and financial POA be put in place as her needs change, maybe they can help with requiring an updated medical evaluation. Sometimes things like this are better taken when it doesn’t come from a relative and those who work daily with this group of clients often have tricks of the trade in communication that can work. You’re doing great with limiting your exposure, hopefully others can help you with other parts of this. I wish you peace
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Good job refusing to be sucked into the whole mattress debacle for the 3rd time.
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