My father makes sexually inappropriate advances, verbal and mildly physical (touching and grabbing--he's very frail, so it's not a physical hazard, just emotionally uncomfortable), to me and his aide and occasionally to others. It is not clear whether he knows who we are when he does this, and he switches between this and "normal" confused behavior without any seeming awareness.
He was never this way before he developed dementia. He is incontinent, wheelchair and bed bound.
I don't like to invite friends to our home because I don't want them to see him like this. I talk only to his doctor, my husband and sisters and my therapist about this distressing behavior.
I would like to know if other caregivers encounter this sort of problem. It is very distressing and isolating.
Is his doctor an expert with dementia? I'm guessing that there might be medication that would at least reduce such behavior. See what the doctor says, and maybe get another opinion - from a neurologist or a gerontologist.
Best wishes.
I would also imagine that the isolation comes from not wanting to invite a situation where your dad embarrasses himself and you. I don't know if your dad does this but my dad did: they start to tell you something and they think they're whispering but they're not? This drove me nuts with my dad! If he would begin to say something and I could tell that he was going to tell me something he didn't want other people to hear I'd change the subject FAST and redirect his attention to something else.
Anyway, I don't think you can stop this behavior from your dad unless is related to a medication. If it's medication-related then you can solve the problem but if it's just his behavior you won't be able to correct it. If he were reasonable he wouldn't be behaving this way and if he were reasonable, you'd be able to discuss it with him. Check out his meds, see if that's the cause. Try to get caregivers who understand dementia and understand that the behavior isn't personal, and depending upon how much you feel you need to isolate him, redirect his attention when you two are in a situation where his remarks could cause embarrassment. Whip out a newspaper and throw it down for him to look at, or a magazine. Comment on something you see. Have some anecdotes he might find amusing.
I think this type of thing happens more often than we know.