Mom hasn't said her name in ages nor mine; don't know exactly when this slipped away. Someone suggested that when I visit my mom at the NH which I do every day for long periods since I got laid off, that I introduce myself. So when I arrive I say hi mom, I am your daughter Suzanne. Later in the day I say it again. Last night while walking the halls, I stopped and turned to her, looked into her beautiful blue eyes and said, hi mama, I am your daughter Suzanne. She softly said: "susanne." she smiled as did I. I melted.
All I'm trying to say here is that she remembered your name and her own for just a glimmering moment. Why not remember it as a tender moment of recollection between a mother and daughter and leave it at that. We can all analyze this and attribute it to disease and yada yada yadada. Just leave all that behind and allow that moment to remain as a tender moment between a mother and daughter.to sooth a suffering soul. That is what I would want do. and did do with the last conversation I had with my abusive husband before he died of a heart attack years ago.
She wants to go home to her mother. Obviously she is young in her own mind (at least sometimes.) She could not possibily have a daughter as old as you! Why, you look older than she thinks she is! You are an imposter and you are tricking her and she wants her mommy!!! How terribly sad and confusing and frightening it must be to live in her mind. (It's no picnic for you, either, and I'm not trying to make light of your very real and justified anguish, Docketer. I'm just reminding you to put the blame where it belongs -- on the disease.)
I certainly hope the nursing home will prove to be mostly comfortable place for her and she'll settle into a routine that includes less hostility.
A book that you might find helpful is "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey. It is especially applicable to caregivers whose loved ones have Alzheimer's and are in a care center.
Two weeks in a nursing home now and I AM HOPING she doesn't know I'm her daugther when I go today to see her - oh my AM I WRONG IN THAT THOUGHT HERE?.
I actually don't want her to remember me as she is actually filled with loathing for me, her daughter, her only caregiver. In her right mind many years ago, she asked for us to sign papers for me to be in charge of her medical and all business, etc. when she got old and forgetful, etc. - I try to remember, she really wanted this at one time instead of the ACCUSATIONS she now throws at me.