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We've had a couple of members with mothers who seem to fit this profile--not "mentally ill" per se, but with personality characteristics that wreak havoc on their children.





https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blorg/surviving-the-female-psychopath/202110/the-emotional-torment-caused-psychopathic-mother

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We surely have had some interesting postings. Thanks for the info. Will read!
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thanks for the info, Barb.
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Barb, the link you posted doesn't seem to work.
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Does this work?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-the-female-psychopath/202110/the-emotional-torment-caused-psychopathic-mother

Error was found in the word /blorg/
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Que sera, sera!

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me
Qué será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Qué será, será
What will be, will be.

My Mom answered:
"You are so beautiful it is scary".
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My BIL is a psychologist and has taught Psych for years, been a dean at 2 prestigious Universities and is very well versed in the psychopathic personality disorder as he also worked with inmates in prison for many years.

He also has ZERO relationship with his mother, my MIL. One of the reasons he became a psych was because he was so damaged by his upbringing (as was my DH). He wanted to know WHY. IDK if it helped him, but his talking to my DH has helped HIM to understand it's all HER, not him.

She caused so much pain and suffering. My DH is 71 and still feels like a terrible little boy. This doesn't end with that generation...my DH still struggles so much with his relationship with her and she's 92 years old. It will never be 'OK'.
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Midkid, my MIL was passive-aggressive. She had a personality disorder from childhood according to her sister. She lied and ended up believing her own lies. I wish I had known about this group 40 yrs ago I may have done things differently when it came to her. Not saying her boys are not scared in some way but they all learned to handle her. All loving fathers and husbands. She told enough lies about me I backed away from her. TG my friends Mom was my DH Aunt and had known me personally. When MIL would tell one of the Aunts a lie they asked my GFs mother if she thought that was true and she told them no. Everyone knew what my MIL was like and just excepted it. Hard when ur the target. Oh, everyone thought she was the sweetest lady, they never saw her not get her own way. Her sons, I think they just said "yes Mom" and did what they wanted. I got a call from my SIL asking me why I did not tell her MIL had breast cancer. Because...she didn't her friend did. Seems my BIL could not make Christmas that year because of his. They lived 12 hrs away. She then told him she had breast cancer which was a lie. She had been taking a friend to treatments and doctor visits. This was where some of her lies originated from other peoples health problems. An Aunt had glaucoma, so did my MIL. Never talked about drops or did I ever see her use them.

I have NEVER lied to my DH. Not even by omission. Because I am sure he would never trust me again. He believes a husband and wife should tell each other everything. I think this stems from his Dad not knowing things his wife had done and said.
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Goid article.
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I've printed out a few articles for DH to read about personality disorders. He read one and said "OMG! This is my MOM!" Late 60's and he is suddenly shocked to find out HE'S not the reason she's so toxic.

I don't think he will EVER be 'OK'. He saw a terrible, hateful marriage. He was beaten, (and I don't mean 'spanked'. but BEATEN by both his parents. He has a scar on his back that is from a belt buckle. Breaks my heart.) His father, before he died, was able to begin to be 'better' and died a better man. That was huge.

My MIL will never die. Her spirit may depart her body, but her legacy lives on.
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Some of us have siblings that fit as well!
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The link doesn't work, but correct blorg to blog and it does work.

Mothers and sisters too, and in some cases offspring.

Personality Disorders and narcissist work for me, maybe a bit of sociopath as well. 😕
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