Mom just called me at work to tell me that she had been discharged from the Assisted Living Center and was going home. I told her that I would need to talk to the Nurse Practitioner. Mom became angry with me and told me to stay out of her business then hung up the phone. I talked to NP and she said that Mom asked to be released to go home and when she wouldn't release her, Mom became angry and told her that she would no longer need her services. I called Mom back and told her that I had spoken with the NP and she hadn't been discharged. She argued with me and became more angry and upset. I told her that she couldn't go home until the doctor felt that she was okay to live alone. She said she never wanted to speak to me again and for me to stay out of her business and then hung up the phone. I have DPOA and she's not going anywhere. But how do I deal with the guilt and stress of this coming up over and over again? Just yesterday, she was planning to come to my house for Christmas and seemed to know that she would not be at home. Now, she's wanting to go home immediately. Please talk me through this.
Or ...she says the Nurse Practitioner is releasing her. You tell her that is not true. But arguing with a dementia victim is not productive and generally makes matters worse. How about, "Oh. That's good. Would you ask her to call me so we can make arrangements?"
My heart goes out to you, Abby. This is very, very hard. Try to figure out how you can avoid arguing with her and that may reduce the stress a little.
For now perhaps you can simply detach for a few days and let her anger cool down.