Follow
Share

I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to answer our questions.


I'm new at carving for my dad. Today it will be one week. Moving him from out of state after my mom died and getting him into what seems to be, a loving facility has been one of, if not the most stressful weeks of my life.


And I know there will be more obstacles ahead of us. But I've been reading through this forum for the past couple of days, and I have read so many helpful answers. It's helping me get prepared mentally for situations that might come up and realize that I'm not alone. Also, it could be a lot worse.


I believe I have found the ticket. Where I can come to if I'm overwhelmed and just need to vent. If I need answers to questions that none of my friends know how to answer. I'm amazed at how quick everyone is to share their advice, their experiences and to help uplift people they have never met.


So, thank you, and God bless you all.

Find Care & Housing
I here ya K, I joined around February, was in horrible burnout. I didn't care one bit about myself or what happened to me.

Then scrolling I found this forum and changed my life, to finally have support. That it's ok if I don't go to moms, that I'm not the most rotten person in the world because I'm so tired of being around a narcissist that never stops waiting more of me, someone that literally gets mad at me for having covid (in the fall) because I couldn't go to moms, and having family that says , Nacy will do it, Nacy will do it.

Everyone on this forum gave my faith back in humanity.

Answer peoples problems and questions, helps me to. It helps me remember who I was , where I came from, and who I want to be. Reading others stories is so humbling. Reading stories of people that have it so much worse than I do, helps and helping them .

I'm so glad we could help you, any time .

You and me are not alone anymore!!

We don't have to go through this alone anymore.

🙂‍↕️🙂💐💕
(6)
Report

I'm so happy that this forum helped you. I wish I had known about it back in 2016 when both my broke/in debt, sick and cognitively declining inlaws were imploding at the same time. I learn a new and helpful thing here almost every day.
(8)
Report

It does take a village.
I have always said when faced with something why blaze a new trail when you can walk one that has been made. At some point someone else has gone through a similar situation and you can use what they learned to help yourself.
What you need to remember are BOUNDARIES.
A few other tid bits of knowledge.
You can't do it all yourself.
2 of the most difficult things about caregiving are...Asking for help and Accepting help.

Now you can share what you have learned with others,.
(6)
Report

Oh when I was in deep burnout, asking for help was the last thing I thought I should do. Everyone came to me for help, my brain thought, you can do it all!!! I can take my brother to his colonoscopy, run to moms go back to pick him up, come home put a smile on my face, clean put dinner on, make a dinner for my neighbors family, because her husband was dieing, to do it all over the next day. I was super woman, hear me roar, or so I thought

Asking for help of any kind was the hardest thing for me. And something I'm still learning to be comfortable doing. I honestly didn't feel worthy for help.
(2)
Report

Thank you for being Here Kweimer , someone On Next door was having a difficult time Last Night and reaching Out for help - I helped her the best I could with a couple phone Numbers of People to call - her Mom Has dementia and the caretaker was Losing It . I was Lucky I was very distraught around July 2021 - Went to the Chiropractor - 3 chiropractors - I was In Harvard square , Cambridge , MA. and Thats where my Mom and I would go when I was a child and I prayed to my Mom Because I did Not Know what to do ? Then I read a Book on Dementia , stopped at a church read More of the Book, walked to Central square - sat in front of another church - read some More . Caught the Subway walked to Boston Common sat by the duck Pond read More of the book and I Got 2 phone calls . These were the care advisors from Boston senior home care and I talked for 45 Minutes and said " I Really do not want to go Home . " Went to another chiropractor got a call from a social worker with a support group . The Next day got a call at 4PM " That My Dad was in the ER and to come Immediately " he had a stroke and was found on the street . And at least I got Nurses, a CNA , case manager and finally some support . This is a great forum and the advice is solid .
(2)
Report

I am so Glad you got your faith back in Humanity Nacy - I hear You .
(2)
Report

Glad you found the forum. Many of us have been blessed by excellent advice and compassion here. Wishing you the best navigating your father’s new plans
(3)
Report

How kind of you to let us know anything might help.
Hope you join because your own advice on your journey will come, and you can share it. We all started out where you are.
Please do stay, help answer, ask questions, vent and be a member of the community. Many of us here have know one another more than 5 years.
(3)
Report

One thing I've learned from everyone already is to set my boundaries. 
I know that I have a lot to do, but my hands are tied until the POA papers are signed next week. 
I took dad to get groceries today, and when they were unpacked, I asked him if he'd like to go downstairs in the common area to play some cards until 11 am. I told him Saturdays are my cleaning days so I can't usually come on Saturday.
While we were playing cards, I knew people would be around and I wanted to give them a heads up that dad is deaf, he's not ignoring you (:
And within a few minutes dad met a fellow marine, my dad is a proud marine and wears his hat with pride. Dad's new friend Ed invited dad to the veterans coffee, donut and "bull----" get together the last Monday of every month
!!!!! Dad will enjoy it there, I just know it!
(2)
Report

I think if people can wrap there head around the fact that they have to leave there home someday. They can really enjoy a new adventure and new friends and people to do things with.

So many just get stuck and can't even imagine leaving there home. It's so hard on them when it doesn't have to be. Glad your dad is doing well.
(1)
Report

You’re very welcome. I wish you and your family all the best.
(1)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter