The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

No I didn't but did find a company that sews on contract. I need to just slow down and not let this explode leaving me with no materials for garment construction. I still need to figure out the price to get one made.

Glad,

Well, you have a starting place with a company to do the labor. Labor isn’t cheap. Don’t undersell your product.

It’s a lot of work but exciting too.

Hello everyone.

I have not caught up or read the last page on forum. I have been busy digging back my archive looking for past posts to print and present to job hopefully giving a valid history of the many violations and neglect of my mother.

The court date was set for early april. A court representative came by last week stating he was lawyer for my mother. Mr. F. Nice gentleman. Explained the situation. States another lawyer would be coming from court who is in the challengethe petition for the court. I tried my best to give update and history as to the situation. I feel like I left out so many pertinent detaills wishing I had kept a real journal as was suguested so very long ago on the forum.

So My DN comes in and again refuses to speak lto the lawyer and ran behind hime to validate again that he was from court and a lawyer for my mother. He stopped at gate and nodded no.

So when I leave out Sunday to go to work I find the tables in kitchen just stewn with things from containers, tea bags and junk from and old cake carrier turned upstide down to hold miscellaneous things on top of this monstrous dryier washing machin =combo that my sister bought to house that doesnt work. Anyways, it was suspicious because things were presented in a way that didnt seem like lmy mothers mess. I have been cleaning behind her dementia for years and it looked planned. Had I posted yesterday I would have been more clearer. But there was a container of 407 rat poison dug out of hiiddng place, opened with a tea bag in it. Also a pizza container with one slice of pizza like they just took everything they could find and make a dissaray and pictuer of danger. I didnt take a picture as I was trying to feedf my mother and shower to get out to work. I dont get much time to sleep and I come down aaround 330 and leave house or try to by 430. Okay so I grab a bag and toss all the mess in there salavageing what I could. Glad I put lock on shed door to keep my mother from the things I have to use.

Anyways when I come in this morning I see the loveseat which is usually missing its cusshions or has only one and sometimes my mother covers it with a big floor rug. I have bought green sheets to mathch color of ragged pillows seats. Any ways there is a brand new twin size sheet covering the love seat like dress up. My mind is saying here we go now. The courts are involved now they want to make everythging pretty like they did my mother hiding or refusing to address her dementia to her doctors for yuears, dressing her up and not addressing her needs and covering up the telll tale signs.

So am a tad pissed I look around for this pureple veour spread my son sent from korea which my mother loves. and which I had just washjed from spots of spilled coffee that they leave with her and deont monitor whether she drinks it or not. sometimes its black where they dont eveen take the time to doctor it. Anyway I find it in dinning room in chair thinking its weird because it didnt look like my mother had gotten up and started packing things like she does. So I put it on bed by her on the bed that is suprisingly neatly made. When I come down the velour to go to work I find two brand new pillows on lthe bed. Now mind you this is the very first and only time either one or both of them purchsased anything to beeautify or provide comfort or decency for my mothe3r since she started sleeping downstairs. Truth truth truth.

So I look for the velour spread and I find it on the dirty dinning room floor under junk and then whoever placed it put a stack of lamp shades of diffveernt sizes wheich hadve been laying in that corning forever with other jiunk. mice droppings and just dirt. I stopped trying a long time ago in that room. So why couldnt you do your good deed, or present your fake care without sabbotaoging something of mine or my son. Why when they have to step =up to the plate thaey have to destroy, throuw something of mine out or just sabatoge.

I called the lawayer theis morning witha few questions and wonde3ring if theyt had agreed to see hime because it looked like they cleaned and set a smoke screen for someone.

He got back to me while i was in transit and informed me myt sister has obtained a lawyer and has requested anothger court date.

I pray with all my heart that their lies and schemes and deciet and manifpulation is exposed and justice prevails for my mother. I just dont think I could handle life if this evil, spiteful spirit of pretense and violations is not exposed.

I would appreciate any advice. I also plan to go to legal aid. The office move and Iwas able to track them down, now I have new address and off course a little more time now to get feed back and essential points in case.

I cant see in anyway how the neglect and neglicgence of my mothers needs, care and environment will not be obvious. Gods Justice will prevail. And I am sure the experience and wisdom of the court be forthwright.

I am exhausted, and anxious for this nightmare to end or at least the part where those two lose the grandiose, spiteful assumption of authority and entitlement.

Rays of love to all.

Ahhh, Duck. I have no idea how you have hung around for so long there. So much is just so bizarre. Hope the truth is discovered and you may finally be done with this.

Anybody know where to find rambouille sheep? Trying to get this lined up is frustrating. Having a hard time even getting organizations, that are to market wool and the farmers that produce it, to respond to me. Evidently so much manufacturing was moved out of the country there is just not much around any more. They are trying to get mills going again. So here I am. 😕🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑

But I have found contract sewing.🐱

Duck, you know that I am brutally honest with you, and I won't varnish what I'm going to say.

Your mother needs 24/7 care. You and your family are unable to provide this, in part because you all work and in part because you are all incapable of cooperating
This lack of cooperation is a legacy of your mother's long term dysfunctional behavior patterns.

(PS, if you are saying that your nephew, who is NYPD, checked to make sure that the gentleman who stopped by was indeed from the courts, I applaud that move. Have you been reading about all the real estate scams going on in Brooklyn? Folks claiming to be lawyers and other official types "stopping by" to gain entry into a home and getting unwitting elders to sign over their deeds? Better safe than sorry. Not rude, just careful.)

You seem to be interested in getting the courts to make some sort of pronouncement about your sister and nephew's culpability and evilness. They are not going to do that. They are going to determine whether your mother meets the criteria for competency and if she doesn't, they will appoint a permanent guardian. They may fix her up with 24/7 care at home, but given what you have said about the state of the house, I think that it FAR more likely that they will move her to a nursing facility. No home care attendant I know is going to put up with the rodent and vermin infestation you describe.

In your shoes, I would be looking for a place to live.

I’ve finally graduated down from my position as PCA for my parents. Though it breaks my heart. I really wanted to be an active part until the very end. However, while at peace with my decision to get out of the equation. I'm still not at peace.

My update!

Dad, out of the blue, developed a serious medical issue that shut his body down (still can’t explain the major blood clots he started passing). He got hospitalized and now rehabbing. But while he is away, mom is getting messed up. Every day when it is my time to work with mom she’s all over the place When others are there working she would sort of be fine (another long story). I started making unexpected visits.

Examples - doped up to the point where she could not participate in her own care, eat, excessive drooling, hard to wake, etc. Then the final week, she was given I believe (MOM) that caused (well you know). I struggled again to care for her with sister talking about I didn’t ask for help. Day two same thing but this time hospice got to see her condition. You should have seen sister trying to get mom to become alert before they showed up.

Needless to say sister told all kinds of lies about how she gave meds with me there to settle her stomach and sprite. Next minute she never gives meds because she does not know how and what is what. All lies and all kinds of other lies. Even told hospice she would not help me care for mom because I didn’t ask although she saw the struggle both days.

Hospice states they can’t just put anyone in a home and that all children would have to sign off. So now mom has two day workers and one night worker.

Second dilemma is dad is ready for home after being away almost a month. He doesn’t like rehab and says family is trying to put him out of the way before his death. He wants me to come and bring him home. I want him to get some rehab but not lose his outside help at home. He will lose if not back at home in 30 days and family knows this. He is not resting knowing mom home along with sister after the workers leave.

I don’t want him to lose out on his help and leave him in sister’s hand only. They both were also under hospice. Now that I’m not there, I don’t expect them to sign him back up with hospice and they are more than happyit seems to have him lose help because that would mean less people coming inside the home. 

I believe the house needs to be flooded with outsiders since nursing home is not an option and eyes need to be on both parents at all times since family will not agree to home and social workers claim family has to sign off or nothing.

I'm also looking into a way to hand over their income other than back in hands of the family.

I hope this post is in a great spot for help and input.

So how I'm doing? Still not at peace even after walking away!

Hello,

I completely relate to what you are saying. There are many times I think that with my particular dysfunctional family member, things would be much better and easier if they were not part of the caregiving situation. They make things so much worse and at times are more difficult to deal with than my loved one with dementia. They really don’t caregive anyway and are the total opposite of the caregiving type. Everything with them is the most complicated thing and it takes forever to get a simple yes or no answer from them. Takes forever to decide what time I need to come over to help. That affects what I do for the day so leaving me hanging is disrespectful and unappreciative in my opinion. It’s hard to not become resentful when you feel like you’re being taken advantage of and used just because this particular dysfunctional family member doesn’t want to take care of our family member with dementia.

Barb, yes you are brutally honest and I appreciate it. Took a deep breath but was very eager for your input and thank you. One thing my nephew didnt know lawyer was there he just came by and when I tried to introduce him to speak with the lawyer he refused. He didnt speak to this lawyer at all or with the APS Mr. G.

And yes I would love for the courts to find them sinister. But them just taking the care out of their hands is a well needed check. My main concern is my mother and her care which I have no sayso in and which is not being properly addressed. I was just considering possiblitty of family court earlier today to deal with my sister and nephew.
=
The house is not so very bad a new sink, close in the holes behind sink externibnaor and a few other things are needed. its repairable within reason.

And yes I have considered the possibility of her being placed in 24 hour care. My thing is that she is cared for. I would look into rooms, I stayed in hotel temporarily before I moved into my apartment. I didnt care for it and it didnt last long. Also eventuially I plan to end up whereever my son settles down.

Most suggestions like the YMCA room, and things are still in my head as options.

Ive had my head stuck in the sand a long time. Once this whole situation plays out, I will still have major decisions to make. We cant get along and do whats right for my mother and someone needs to step in. Either way if she stays home or gets moved to a facility I will have some major decisions to make and I am chewing on everybit of food for thought you and everyone has taken the time to share or give input on.

You keep it real Barb, that exactly what I appreciate. I see quite a few agree with you also. I was never babied in my life.

I am just hoping for the best for my mother. I feel that things will work out for us both. Or maybe ......... a pipe dream? Anyways my perspective is open, definite on not taking guardianship if offered. Keeping hope alive for the best scenario.

Sleep tight all. I am off for a few. Kinda worn tired from this recent activity. Bracing myself for more and backlash so I will try and take it easy these days off. I had my tax papers delievered to job for same issues, so I willbe stressing on getting taxes done.

Ray of love and healing to all.

Here's another update.

My wife can now put her full weight on the leg where the knee was replaced. She walking with a walker most places and with a cane at home. She's been getting out patient PT and has made a lot of progress. The PT told her today that in 2-3 weeks she will likely be walking without a cane. He is glad for her improvement and her flexibility is great. She just needs to work on strength now.

Here's something that I wrote and thought I'd lost, but I found it today. I would include many of you here as well as others on people AC on other threads who have provided me grace moments!

Very early and for 24 years since, my Lutheran friend, Tom, has been a means of God’s grace in my life even in times when it was our friendship that was the thread that I held onto in the midst of those trials.

This was also true of the people on the power lifting team that I was on in Spring Hope; Jenean my TKD instructor and her daughters (Ashley & Megan) who helped me and the boys a lot; my SIL, Debra, with whom I became closer; my high school friend, Marlowe, and her husband, Robby, who let me visit whenever I needed to and even put me up in their house for a few nights; the people of the Gibson Memorial UMC charge who understood and sought to help; reading various mental health books; experiencing the support of the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and their free Family to Family educational program; the continued support of my former TKD instructor, Jenean; going to Marlowe’s first piano concert; and discovering Spotify where I can listen to her music plus the Jesus music of the 70's and 80's which I think cannot be beat; and my step-sister apologizing for how her mother had treated me over the years.

Unfortunately, I've felt God's presence very seldom since going on disability. I think that this is why I like Marlowe's song, Your Presence Lord, so much. It is the only piece of her piano music in which she sings; We are brother in sister in Christ, and I also feel like that for 45 years in and since high school that she is the sister that I never had. I would say the same thing about Jenean who I have been friends with for 20 years now. This is also true of my God-sister, cousin Jackie, who I have known since we were little, 57 years ago. She has adopted me as her brother also after my dad, her Godfather, died. .

I hope everyone is fine. I am not caught up at all but it looks as if this forum has been deserted. I hope not but then there is always the Whine line which is where I made my beginnings.

Anyways I hope this post finds you all in good spirits. On the surface I am good but deep down I am really a nervous wreck until this court date. I am so very frustrated that I am having panic attacks again.

Since the notification from the courts Ihave witnessed a lovely show of concern for my mothers surroundings. Besides buying new pillows the first week, which still do not have pillow cases, (do the whole shabang is my thing) there are signs of someone cleaning, no let me correct myself my nephew is doing some minor cleaning. Its noticeable to me because I have been the only one doing anything to keep the environment half ways decent. So I am insulted when I see a new this or that because its for show or for a visit from the hired lawyer. The exact thing they spitefully accuse me of.

I just hope and pray that the judge and powers that be see through the facade. I know so deep down but then I have seen how easily they manipulated others into believing I am a monster.

I am bracing for retaliation and will be documenting everything. My mother deserves better. Its sad to adjust to being locked in and the loneliness and to see the reprecussions.

Last week I saw my nephew take back a bag he bought her from mcdonalds then witness how my twisted doesnt even bring her anything9 not even the tea or croissant she just started doeing maybe sixmonths ago ) when I am off. Its sad because sometimes I dont come down until late and see how she has ravaged what ever in in fridge or cabinet, made a mess trying to fix something.. Anyways it gets overwhelming to see the deterioation progress, not being able to hear my self think sometimes because she gets loud and repetitive talking to imaginery people or family.

Everyone please be careful with this crazy virus pandemic. Its getting crazy.

Good nite to all, sleep tight. Rays of love and light.

Duck, did you get a new court date? APS was there they saw the conditions so it is on record and documented. What are you hoping the outcome to be? I wish you the best through it all. It is a crazy situation, for sure. Hold onto your seat, you will soon be there. If anything comes up that you think requires emergency intervention call APS and they can do what is warranted quickly.

What are your plans at the end of it? Hopefully, it will not drag on forever.

My son and youngest granddaughter were here for the last couple of days. Great to have them! And guess what, my sound bar now works. He used to work at Best Buy, years ago and had the right connection made in a few minutes!

I am so proud of him, he is obviously a great dad to that, cute as a button, little girl.

He still lives in the city I did before I started caring for mom, I will probably return there at some point. I found a woman that has a sewing business there and she is willing to do sewing to see if we can get this going again. So, son took some fabric, a coat and other necessary things to construct on to see how it goes.

I then sent the woman an email to let her know son has these thing and would like to bring them by her shop, this afternoon. She has been sick all week and some symptoms of asthma. Sound like it could be covid to you? If I were her I would be getting tested. She said her husband would meet my son at the shop this afternoon. I told son if he would rather wait, ok, since we all know hubby has been exposed to whatever it is. Frustrating, but can't be too careful. Have not heard back from son yet.

I haven’t been here much, mostly lurking. I hope those who are here are having good things in your lives.
I haven’t been able to purchase things like toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer or ingredients to make my own, cleaning products. Our stores are pretty well stripped bare, no meat in some stores, little produce. Two weeks, can’t find these types of items. I’m nearly out of toilet paper given my bladder condition and bowel disease. I found and ordered a peri bottle for bathroom cleanup, so desperate. I’m not well enough to tromp from store to store, chasing toilet paper. Shame on those who are hoarding. There are signs limiting quantities of many items - taped to empty shelves. So, I just keep doing physical therapy, going to my medical appointments. Since they aren’t routine, in the middle of adjusting blood pressure and diabetes meds, I can’t push out appointments. Also podiatrist this week for diabetic foot care. Can’t push that out, for pincer toenails that want to get inflamed and infected. Thankfully husband’s health is holding steady. Orthopedic surgeon won’t discuss replacing second knee right now. The hospitals are always on diversion here, even in Summer, simply not enough beds. Now it’s flu season, and the halls and ER are being used for admitted patients. So, looks like they are pushing out joint replacement surgeries. I hope not too long, as I’m barely able to walk, and PT is brutal on the new joint, because other knee is shot. But I keep at it. Of course, there’s the constant hand sanitizing at PT and doctor appointments, but we who are in poor health are sitting ducks for this nasty Coronavirus. Just keep going.
Youngest son and his partner are scrambling, juggling work, since her young son is out of school for awhile. And I helped get one granddaughter home from college, as they are shutting the dorms ASAP. Son’s partner is to be scheduled for surgery, is on medical leave right now. So much going on. I’m kind of thankful I’m in another state, too old and decrepit to deal with blow by blow daily drama of busy family life. They are probably secretly glad they don’t have me there, having to help me. Lol.
Anyhow, I’m still around, but lurking mostly, and not too often. Peace to all here!

Girlsaylor, wishing you well through these tricky times 💜

I hope everyone is safe and doing well. It's been sort of quiet with Mom. I've not been to her place since Christmas which was awful. She's still got her tree up, insisting that I need to put it away. It's just her being vengeful. My brother offered to put it away, but he "does so much". He gets the few groceries she asks for, and take out food. She did not go out during most of the winter, went out briefly a week ago to get her hair cut. She's not been seeing her doctor, whom she never liked, now calling him an SOB. She has one bp prescription, and she says her bp isn't really high anyhow (I think it's 150 with meds). It was 170 or 180 without. Anyhow, she keeps calling for a refill. They finally said no more refills without seeing doc. She went ballistic. It's standard practice; even one of her friends said how do they let you do that? My doctor would not. So doc calls my brother (who sees him and likes him - how dare he!) and says for your next visit (scheduled already) bring your mom in with you - we will do a twofer. Brother said you know she won't come. Yes, he was correct. Now she's saying she'll just go to a urgent care instead. I doubt they will do a long term Rx for her if they even do for bp. She said oh I don't care if I get a refill because I don't really have high bp. I didn't get into it with her, but did say well my doc wouldn't do a refill unless I saw him. Well that's different for you. All righty then, you get special treatment than anyone else. She knew I've had to work for the past 4 weekends, so she was sort of ok with me not going there. Today, out of the blue, she calls me. We're on a mandatory work from home starting today, and I was in the middle of a conf call, so her call rolled to vm. She was yelling at me - I'm evil, I have a bad soul, don't care about her, etc. I tried calling back (why I do not know) and no answer. She really thinks I'm travelling there the next weekend I'm free. That won't be happening. She'd said she was bored, no sports, nothing good on tv to watch now. (She's a sports fanatic). Of course, it's my fault because she's not living with me. And during the same call, she said well I'm tired of talking with you, got to hang up. It was a nice conversation; so if she's tired of me after 15 minutes or so, how would living with me 24/7 be? She's just probably scared and bored, and I know I'm her whipping post. She's also lashed out at my brother recently. I try not to let it get to me too much, as I have other things on my plate now. I also know her pattern; she'll be angry a few days then something will happen and she'll be almost be back to normal. Honestly, I think travel (even by car) will be restricted soon - like say more than 50 miles, so I don't think I'll be able to go there. I know the company I work for said no travel to other offices, even by car.
I hope everyone stays safe and be well.

Sissisu, sports? Lots of people going through withdrawal. I have YouTube TV, an app on Roku. There are many recorded games of all sorts on it, on several channels. Maybe that would help to settle her down. There must be recorded games on ESPN, etc too, I would think.

So today I saw my internist. She ordered more bloodwork, thyroid was off a month ago. Also wants to check my A1c since she reduced my diabetes meds (I was the model diabetic, working very hard to eat carefully, since I’m not on insulin). My reward for being very disciplined was having meds reduced, so have to restrict carbs even further, down to keto level. Gee thanks doc. She is leaving the blood pressure meds as is for now.
Tomorrow I see the podiatrist for toenail trim. Hope eventually he can get the pincer nails to not curl so badly. He SOE sent want me cutting my own toenails, doesn’t want me to accidentally Nick the cuticle, due to the diabetes.
I have to call the knee surgeon tomorrow. My brand new knee is warm to the touch. Shouldn’t have infection seven weeks out. Pray a round of antibiotics will be all that’s needed. I don’t want either of us in hospital, given the current Coronavirus situation.
Hubs just broke the news, his legs are cramping and hurting. The man has terrible vascular system, so many stents and patches, I’ve lost count. Where we used to live the interventional cardiologists (aka root rooters) did the leg artery procedures in his facility. Where we are now, looks like if he needs more arteries opened up, will have to do it in hospital Cath lab. It isn’t something we can put off, if an artery or two is closing up more. He was about 50% occluded last ultrasound. Have been expecting this, but was hoping I could get the right knee replacement and the left hip revision before he went downhill again. Because nobody to take care of me. They aren’t scheduling elective surgeries now, no matter how bad one’s joint is. And, I don’t want to be in a hospital and exposed to the newest plague right now.
Too dang many medical problems!
On a bright note, I climbed up into hubs truck, drove it today. Haven’t been able to get up in it for nearly a year, because my joints are so worn out. Took his truck because the dang check engine light came on in my very old sedan. Since we just had to replace the HVAC system here, I need to get it paid for before I can have my car looked at.
It’s always something.

So today I saw my internist. She ordered more bloodwork, thyroid was off a month ago. Also wants to check my A1c since she reduced my diabetes meds (I was the model diabetic, working very hard to eat carefully, since I’m not on insulin). My reward for being very disciplined was having meds reduced, so have to restrict carbs even further, down to keto level, in order to control blood sugar. Gee thanks doc. She is leaving the blood pressure meds as is for now.
Tomorrow I see the podiatrist for toenail trim. Hope eventually he can get the painful pincer nails to not curl so badly. He doesn’t want me cutting my own toenails, doesn’t want me to accidentally nick the cuticle, due to the diabetes.
I have to call the knee surgeon tomorrow. My brand new knee is warm to the touch. Shouldn’t have infection seven weeks out. Pray a round of antibiotics will be all that’s needed. I don’t want either of us in hospital, given the current Coronavirus situation.
Hubs just broke the news, his legs are cramping and hurting. He’s been keeping it secret while I’ve been trying to get my worn out joints replaced.. The man has a terrible vascular system; so many stents and patches, I’ve lost count. Where we used to live the interventional cardiologist (aka root rooters) did the leg artery procedures in his facility. Where we are now, looks like if he needs more arteries opened up, will have to do it in hospital Cath lab. It isn’t something we can put off, if an artery or two is closing up more. He was about 50% occluded last ultrasound. Have been expecting this, but was hoping I could get the right knee replacement and the left hip revision before he went downhill again. Because there’s nobody to take care of him, except moi. They aren’t scheduling elective surgeries now, no matter how bad one’s joint is. And, I don’t want to be in a hospital and exposed to the newest plague right now.
Too dang many medical problems!
On a bright note, I climbed up into hubs truck, drove it today. Haven’t been able to get up in it for nearly a year, because my joints are so worn out. Took his truck because the dang check engine light came on in my very old sedan. Since we just had to replace the HVAC system here, I need to get HVAC paid for before I can have my car looked at.
It’s always something.

What a day! Office was closed to the general public. Yesterday one of my assistants came in with a cough. Thought about sending her home first thing in the morning, now probably should have. She said she did not have a fever. Falsehood about fever you are not contagious, especially with this CV! Met with the powers that be yesterday afternoon, heard her coughing, said she shouldn't be there. When we left yesterday, told her not to come in today. This morning she texts me this is silly. Told her sorry, powers wanted her to stay home. Then she calls after lunch today, she has a fever! Who knows. My other assistant is immune-compromised. Know nothing yet, of course.

Then we are under blizzard warning. The highway to my house had closed. Usually, powers let us know and send us home. Not today. Probably because they decided today to close to the general public. Sent them an e-mail when I found out, telling them the highway to my home was closed. UGH!

With the blizzard, got home no power, no garage opener, I have now been home for three hours and the power just came on, thank goodness. Now I can watch my evening shows and the house will warm up! And car is put away and should thaw out overnight and I can just chill. I am worn out!

Glad,

Our football coach, New Orleans Saints just tested positive and he already said that he has no fever. So, you’re absolutely right. Not everyone gets fever.

Because of possible exposure, my office was shut down today. Hoping assistant can get a test to at least eliminate the possibility.

Sorry for my long absence.. Too much, including the Covid-19, going on. Be careful everyone,

answry - what a mess. Less help hardly seems the right thing. I guess you haven't quite completely walked away if you still have to deal with finances. Can they hire someone to do that Where is the lack of peace coming from? Walking away means letting go.

goodbird - agreed dysfun family members can be worse and they are disrespectful. You probably are being taken advantage of and being used.

duck - things are happening! Glad you have
some ideas for yourself. Keep documenting.

yoda - good news about your wife. I am glad you have felt support. We all need it.

glad - so happy for you that you had a good visit with your son and dgd. A woman with a sewing business would be a great resource for you. Keep us updated. Your assistant could have covid. Better to be careful. You are in the middle of it!!! Definitely falsehood about no contagion without a fever from what I have read. Hope you get the test results soon. Glad you got home safely but no power is a pain. We have had a lot of that over the years. Look after yourself.

girlsaylor - stuff s scarce or overpriced on amazon I found. I am not doing stores. I did find some TP online at a reasonable price. Hope you get hubbies issues sorted out. My thyroid is a bit off to. Doesn't help anything, Yes, there's always something,

sissisu - if you can't go you can't go. Your mum might get a refill now with the covid around.

My thyroid has been off which doesn't help the energy levels, but they are coming back. Usual allergies/nasal stuff acting up. Apparently a drippy nose is not part of the covid infection, I decided over a week ago to self isolate for my own protection. I do most of my shopping online anyway and have found that one grocery store here delivers and my pharmacy delivers free for seniors. Awesome!!! I believe we have one case here in town now that has been recently diagnosed and likely several more undiagnosed as the thing is so contagious. I spent some time in the past while figuring out new safe routines for doing things like getting the mail. The virus lives on metal surfaces for a few days at least. It is hard to break old habits and develop new ones. The groceries come to the door but are they safe? Ity lives on plastic for a few days. I have Lysol wipes, peroxide, alcohol and bleach as well as soap and water. Found it hard to find my usual brand of dish soap, and I need it as I am allergic to many others, I had to search online for TP. Sigh. Crazy times.

Final estate stuff till hanging around. I told the lawyers office to deal with it. The very nice assistant is working from home with 2 preschoolers. That can't be easy.

Oldest son is on isolation (not going to work) as he has a cough. He did the online self assessment and called the appropriate number and was told to isolate but he didn't need a test. I know the availability of testing kits is an issue in many places.

I suspect we will be on self isolation for some time so I have shelved planning a move for now though will continue to sort out what I do and do not want so I will be ready to act when the situation is safe. Our city has done away with recycling for now so everything goes in the trash

The kitties are care free and cuddly and as they were which is comforting. Hope everyone is doing well.

I pray everyone remains safe and untouched by this virus as well as maintaining high spirit in this trying time.

Girlsailor, I hope your new knee joint okay, all the best and god speed healing.

Glad, hopefully you were all safe and didnt exposed to the virus.

Golden, always good to hear from you.

Barb, thank you for your brutal honesty. I just cant bare the thought of my mother needing to be in a nursing home. I thank you for slowly battering that possibility in my head to a point where I can see it could be a true possibility.,

I am truly hoping that with proper homecare we can handle her needs and keep her safe. Yes my mother needs monitoring. She keeps putting things in the toilet its backed up.,, I am plunging daily when I get off and come in. I bought a snake thurs, uncloged the toilet and friday evening it was backed up again. I am calleing this service c alled cheap somebody's plumbing 49.99 hour on my next time off.

Nephew nor sister seem to be concerned or to even notice it. Its so sad. And whats worse is now with this virus it will problably be another year or more before it is legally addressed.

I fight depression and frustration and anger on the reg.

Cant even call the prayer line because they are closed!~!!! Lol

On the real side, sometimes when I am off I dont even want to go down to my mother. I have never felt that way. I just dread sometimes looking at the toilet over flowed or full of sh**. I just get overwhelmed. I know its going to work out and I do get over these moments and I have to program my heart and mind for another year of this nonsense before help or something serious happens.


Rays of love, healing and protection to all.

Sleep tight and be safe.

This seems like a good time to come back around AC for awhile, as I'm very recently out of work due to the measures to contain covid-19 spread.

I've missed this place and all who participate. Things have been good in my Life, mostly routine the past year and I have very little anxiety disorder any more.

I'll read some, but please tell me how you are doing, and how you are coping with any changes to your life due to covid prevention measures.

Ali,

My wife was making great progress once she got to outpatient PT after her troublesome knee replacement surgery. Her sinuses started acting around the start of the virus here in the US. So, she's cancelled her appointments of every kind through the end of this month which was when she is supposed to see the surgeon again and to see if she can be set free from PT, but that is all up in the air now.

I have cancelled my PT for my frozen left shoulder which has improved greatly after months of PT. I've gotten to the point that I had signed up for a personal trainer that I met with for five times before the virus got more serious. There are four cases of it now in our section of eastern NC.

Along with playing nurse for my wife, I've been financial adviser and emotional support person for my SIL who is retiring in June, but almost made a few costly mistakes. Thankfully, we are such friends that she took my advice and my wife is happy that I have helped her sister. We really relate more like siblings after all of these years. If you wonder about her husband, well the best thing I can say is very little other than he is. She has to be his caretaker. She's a uterine cancer survivor since 2000 with complications from the treatments and thus has not been able to work since then. She has to clean the house, do the laundry, take care of business matters because she can't trust her husband with money, and for the last two years, she's been co-exectrix of her mother's big estate after her death 2 years ago. Frankly, she hasn't had the time of energy to think about retirement; what she's entitled to from work that she was not sure about, etc. because we have worked for the same group. After helping her make one last course correction, she told me on the phone that it was so nice to have someone care so much about her. Poor thing, that what a good brother is for.

It's a long sad story, but that is all I'll say about her husband other that I praise God for my Lexapro when he is around. My two sons either go up into my man cave or go walk the dog of something. My wife takes more of her anti-anxiety pills.

My wife had to go to the doctor about her sinus infection that would not go away. He prescribed her some meds. She's still sleeping in the bed that she went to after surgery so that her left leg would be easy to get out of the bed. At 4 ft 9, she has to go up steps to get into our big queen sized bed that I've been falling out of before moving to another room. She's still in that room because she doesn't want me to catch her sinus infections since I'm very susceptible to those kinds of things. I'm in this room because I don't fall out of the bed. It has a firmer mattress and the side I had been falling out of the bed on is up against a wall. Also, this was the room to be in after her surgery and going to rehab. I'm across the hall from her and can hear her easier in here.

Even further away from my is my God sister whom my dad had been her God father. She's going through a lot with being her husband's caregiver and he is very, very sick. So, I'm in touch with her often doing what I can.

I have one more person on my concern and support list, but she is a survivor like me and we have been surviving life since before we met in high school. I think that is one thing that brought us together. She's my unofficial sister that I never had otherwise. She has said that she appreciates how I can be the wind beneath her wings at times when she needs it.

Oh, I have been encouraging friends to get on here as they deal with their aging parents. I've described how great this anonymous group is with information and support. I pray that the government will pass an emergency bill soon!

One of these days, my wife and I will return to our room. I hope this bolster pillow helps keep me from falling out of that bed. This bed I'm in now is firmer. We may need a new mattress that is firmer and maybe not as thick for the other bed.

Ali, we have missed you! So many out of work right now, absolutely frightening! Sounds like otherwise you are doing great! These are very anxious times for so many.

Well, I can’t believe this, but my one weird roommate (I have two, the other is a nurse and a lovely person) started taking toilet paper off the rolls in the bathroom, did this to 6 rolls in the past 24 hours. What a world, right?

I finally thought “they must not know the packages of TP are kept under the sink, and so they think this may be the last roll or two, so they’re taking it for if we run out.” I put the rest of the package in the bathroom cupboard and hope that stops their need to take the TP off the rolls.

Im finding it funnier now then earlier today. lol

duck - safe so far!!! Your mother in an NH looked after by professionals might not be so bad. You are "putting out fires" all the time. You must be burned out. The virus is upsetting everyone's plans.

Ali -glad to see you back for a visit. Sorry you lost your job but glad to hear that your life has been good. and the anxiety is decreasing. I have self quarantined, I think that is the right term. I do not suspect I have covid-19 but don't want it as I am a higher risk age group. My day to day life hasn't changed a lot as I am an introvert anyway. More shopping is getting done on line and I found a grocery service that delivers. On the other hand I was going to move south this summer and all those plans are on hold. My dream of being in a nice home with sig other in a cosy little town have evaporated along with any plans for travel and trail riding. On the other hand, I have more time to do what I have to here (get rid of stuff) so that's good. Gotta go with the flow. I have acquired 2 beautiful fluffy orange kitties and they keep me entertained and busy.

re the TP -Have you asked the weird room mate why?

yoda - you have been busy and involved!!!

glad - you are right, we have missed ali. How is your assistant?

Down south my oldest son and spouse are both self isolating. She is a health care worker and has been tested. He said it was just a slight cough for both of them but they were told to stay home from work and now all the stores in the chain he worked for have closed (non essential services). Middle son started working from home last week. (he's in IT) The students were all dismissed from the college a couple of week ago. Things have settled down at dd's house as dgd has been on meds for long enough now and they are making a big difference. The grands are happy to have been let out of school. Bil still has his job though about 25 were let go in his area. That is a blessing.

My thyroid has been off again but getting sorted thankfully, About a week ago I found out that my ex sil,(oldest grandson's dad) has bone cancer, metastasized from prostate cancer (which was not properly cared for when he was in Egypt for a few years).and he is on chemotherapy and therefore vulnerable to the virus. He has been given about 2 years. All around that is a bummer!!!

The economy here has tanked with oil prices and now with the virus many businesses are suffering globally. We are in a different than ever before situation world wide. Recovery will be slow and some things will be different, I think.

I like the fb quip that "I never thought I would see the day when cannabis was easier to buy than toilet paper and hand sanitizer." 🧻 🧴 🖐

Assistant went back to work Thursday. Fever free for three days. I and my other assistant are on quarantine for another week following exposure to her. Working from home as we can. Talked with her for 45 minutes today on where we are with projects. One thing learned is that two monitors sure save time and makes work easier! Much less switching back and forth between tabs.

I have been issued a laptop to access work servers. It is really slow, and two sets of task bar is goofy to look at. Gotta be careful to click the right task bar.😕

Never thought I would see anything like this in my life. Makes one wonder if this is one of those illnesses that we were warned about because of overuse of antibiotics.

Next door neighbor sent a FB friend request two days ago. Offering to pick up anything I needed when she went to the store. Very sweet of her. I told her I have been on quarantine for a week with scratchy throat and a cough. I asked her to check on thermometers. She stopped at two places, none to be had. Then tried Amazon. A selection of probably 10 different brands of the digital ones. All were listed as available for a penny plus shipping and handling of $6.00. Placed one in my cart only to find out delivery not until the end of April. I don't call that available.

DD2 with girls home wants to make bread. No yeast to be found.

Back to sweet neighbor. She asked me if I had ever heard of, I think, Dotsero sinus. Nope, not me. It is a mixture of essential oils that has helped to clear my sinuses. She brought it over in the cutest little blue roll on bottle, like a tube of lipstick. So sweet of her.

Watched Dr. Phil yesterday, some 22 year old bimbo, yes I said it, won't go into it as don't want to give her the attention and notoriety she obviously needs in her self-absorbed life. Just really ticked me off!