The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Hi Golden 23. Still under stress because it seems I'm the only one trying to find a happy medium and protect. Other siblings and professionals are turning a blind eye I guess since no near-death experience has happened. APS even says they can only make suggestions but not enforce anything.

I'm getting better at being okay not talking to siblings. At first I was trying to try the talk about anything but that approach and it isn't working. So I have blocked everyone as of last week.

Dad has a cell phone to use so I don't have to interact with live-in-sibling but they often turn the volume down or hide forcing him to go through house phone as to eavesdrop.

Yes, I've started looking into that transport idea and thanks for suggesting. Dad was okay with me doing the POA but will not be able to get it for mom. Probably would have to apply through the courts for guardianship. However, hubby says he is just exhausted with this dynamics and not sure if POA will help or cause more drama.

I manage their finances through records and receipts, but financial POA still may be a good idea. I believe the medical POA may still be of use but what do you do when the one you've always had on your side when it comes to this says, ahh so sick of this.

The live-in-sibling claim dad was encouraging mom to stand up and so she just stood up and fell out wheelchair. I don't know the last time I've seen mom stand up on her own. Upper body strength not there to push up. Aide told me she did not answer to me and got hostile as live-in-sibling. Aide's employer says aides don't have to report such incidents and that it is up to live-in-sibling to call for help or not. If parents are not well, it is up to live-in-sibling. The company and aides are not liable.

The only outcome was that hospice went out after I called and took pictures for their records. Live-in-sibling claim accident was first week in month last month and that lump and bruises just so happen to be still showing by end of month.

Since I'm no longer there on a daily basis, unfortunately, I will never know what goes on. Other siblings knew of the accident but I had to discover on my own.

Boy is this topic for me!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey everyone!!
Caring for my mom (72) has been tough on me. My mom is a manipulative person. Tries to make you feel sorry for her.

The ups and downs with my with the quarantine in effect have been like a roller coaster - on crack. One day she's pretty positive, then one night she called me saying we'll never see each other again - we're all gonna die! Then switch that back up to having my brother shop for an Easter ham. Why? He merely comes in and drops off food and does any tasks for her - switching up batteries in smoke detectors, etc. He actually thought I was travelling there for Easter. Uh, no. Let me get this straight - not a good idea for you to stay there and possibly infect her, but ok for me to travel 4 hours, stay overnight a couple of nights. I don't get it. Anyhow, she heard from two of her friends (one who has a large extended family) they are not having family get togethers over Easter. Then she was ok with it.
But I was like no, she's going to have a fit on Easter. Every day less and less ok with it. She has to have Easter candy and colored eggs for Easter. It's just "not Easter" without it! So brother got her the candy and egg dye (she had already hard boiled the eggs). Today, after finally getting groceries for myself - my plan is not to go out until possibly end of April - stay put - she calls me. Yeah, upset. "Do you want some eggs?" She just didn't know how she'd do it - color the eggs. Honestly, it's such a trivial thing. Like a kid saying I want the Easter egg hunt. Then she went on to say how she's the forgotten one, and …. it's all my fault. Yes, we're back to that again. I didn't go with her "plan" for us to live together. She'd spoken with another friend who has 3 grown children and grandchildren, has had major medical issues, yet has her own apartment in another town now. This person is getting together with people in her area for Easter - small gathering and they are keeping at least 6 feet away. She gets to have a better holiday than me, sob, sob! Well, this woman took charge of her life and planned ahead, not assuming that everyone else would upend their lives for her (especially when she also can be difficult - but she owns it). Then I heard, I'll probably just have a peanut butter sandwich tomorrow - sob. It's like fake crying by a kid who wants the latest toy (trust me, I know how she tries to work things).
I noticed I have a large rash on one side of my back - one spot is sore - felt like a bee stinger was there. I kind of freaked and thought oh please do not be shingles. I mentioned to mom - who promptly changed subject back to her lousy Easter. Uhmmm no one is having a regular life now. And just yesterday she called me to say that my dad's cousin passed away from Covid-19. She had only told me there were so few cases in their county. Yes, because they have only tested maybe 2,000 people out of 300k. So that was all forgotten because of her rotten Easter. Ok.
Then a few hours later she calls me back. Wrot wroh. Guessing egg coloring went badly. I couldn't grab the phone quickly enough to answer. So I've called back - like 6x. Finally she answered - VERY ANGRY - shouting DO NOT CALL ME. All righty then. Blocked her number for a while.
I'm sure she's upset that I got a bunch of supplies in now. She'd said I was so callous and selfish for doing that - when she's all alone. Ok, guess I'm supposed to go out daily? She's angry at the world, and again, takes it out on me, but it's really gotten so old. I don't think this relationship can be repaired at this point, but I can adjust my response, try not to let it bother me so much.
I hope everyone has a peaceful Easter, even though it's not close to normal. Stay safe.

I hope everyone had a peaceful day. We stopped at our dd’s to drop of baskets for the grandsons. We stayed 6+ ft apart. L looks so stinking cute with his new eye glasses. Hugs for the boys will have to wait for safer days ahead.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, everyone

Good night, sharyn Almost feels like old times seeing you post here.😊

Quiet day here -waiting for one of the kitties to return home.She does roam a bit.The other one is settled for the night, thankfully.

Will be back tomorrow to respond to posts below. Tired today for some reason. Need my 💤!

Golden, it feels good to post again and read how everyone is post caregiving/in the trenches. I read but don’t post. The winter months are hard for me dealing with seasonal affective disorder (SAD).

my dd accepted a position with a local bank, back where she started with working in Idaho. Her in laws are still living with them. Her fil just went back to work a couple months ago after being released by his dr for the pulmonary embolisms. Now her mil is laid off due to covid -19, she is a registered dental assistant.

My sister has been laid off and I suspect they will not call her back. I tried calling her on Palm Sunday but there was no answer. I had the same response prior to Palm Sunday as well as to an email I sent her. I know she is ok because her daughter has not said otherwise. I’m leaving it up to her to get in touch with me. My brother is doing good. If I don’t call him, I’ll text.

has anyone heard from Stacey and Margaux? I hope they/family are well.

I haven't posted here in forever. Although the level of family drama has calmed down since Mom went on Phych meds things still go up and down, it just doesn't bother me as much. I think I am detaching from the dysfunction better than before.
I think of you all most every day. I'm doing better because of you all. Take care and be safe.

ali - how are you? It does sound like the virus! Glad you're looking after yourself. Planting in containers is a great idea. Seeds work too!

answry - you do seem to be the sane one in the situation. Sometimes you have to let go and let people experience the consequences of their choices. I think blocking calls is a good idea. Your hubby has a point, but if you are already managing their finances - hard choice. I think you need to listen to hubby. He says he is burnt out. In the order of what is important, he comes before your family. Since mum and dad are at your sibling's you have much less control and say. It's a very difficult situation. (((((((hugs)))))

lavet - welcome - we are familiar with manipulative people. They can make your life very stressful. Some always want to be the victim. Sounds like you are aware of her game. Try to steer clear of FOG - fear, obligation, guilt. They use those to get you to do what they want.

sissi - hi the lock down may be the best thing for you. It's not OK for you to go there - period! Wait till restrictions are lifted at least. Sissi, she will always blame you for things. That's how her brain is wired. I am sorry about your dad's cousin. Blocking her number sounds like a good idea. I agree the relationship can probably not be repaired. I don't think she can change, but, as you say, you can so it doesn't bother you so much. Good! Hope you had a decent Easter.

sharyn - must be hard not hugging those little guys. So glad you are posting again. Sorry about the SAD. That's hard. Glad your bro is doing well. He has been through so much. I guess I am not surprised about your sister. I've gone n/c with mine. Stacey posts once on a while and Margeaux did quite a while ago but then dropped out again. Things about the same, I gather.

Trying - great to see you posting too, So glad your mum's ups and downs don't bother you as much. Detaching is a great skill - not easy to get there but very worthwhile. Happy you are doing better. You have helped me and others too. it's not a one way street.

Kitties loving the better weather. Pumpkin has been gone for hours today, Still lots of snow but it will melt as the temps rise. Adjusting mentally to the changes in society takes a little time. We have gained some things and lost others. Right now it is easier to see the losses.

The city is sending out a weekly meal to seniors during this lock down but I had to decline due to allergies. Nice thought, though.

Hope everyone is safe and staying home!!!

Golden, so the kittens are all grown up and sound so cute. I remember my 1st and only cat slipped out and was missing for weeks my son was about 11 and it was really his cat he. I would search, constantly and boy oh boy one rainy morining around 6 as I left for work she was by the door downstairs. I was so happy to see him and was thrilled to wake up my son with him.

Then when my nephew left his cat here who just died last year. I used to call her a punk becuase she was scarred to go out. Then she started easing out in the yard when I was working on my first garden. Got bolder and then started fighting with my friends cat who was a tom. I was so proud of Minnie she would go freely but always returned. She stopped when she got scarred to come down or scale the fence.

Ali!!! Its so nice to see you posting. I hope you are feeling better. I am not all caught up. Did you use your sense of taste and smell. Have fevers? Anyways I am hearing that deep breathing and holding breath with inhales, as well a lying prone helps. There is more lung tissue in the back and being prone helps make it easier for oxygen exchange and increase lung capacity. Something like the breathing exercise in yoga and otherr place using the stomach to breath like a baby.

I hope everyone is in good spirits and keeping safe and distancing ourselves. I am now getting taken to work and back home it was a wonderful blessing. The trains were stressing me. One thing to see the ugliness in people from the stress of the virus. People were being mean over space and boundaries. So people were clueless and every now and then a nice conversation ensued about issues with the virus.
So tonight is my third and last night for the week getting the rides and its most awesome. I am so grateful, I sleep 1/2 hour later. I get home and hour earlier and leave 1.5 hour later than usuall. So I have time to really sit and get my mother to eat when I come in and when I leave. I feel a lot lighter, almost happy!! one of my concerns now is gaining weight. I gain in my stomach so I look very pregnant now with much less excersise and the stress eating I am prone too do its getting a little scarey. I almost got very close to 200lb before I even noticed I moved to a 14. Now everything is tight and I am just not having it.

Hip pain still there its like once its triggered its a rapp. But guess what, its easing up since I started riding to work and back home. I think the tendons or ligaament or muscle whatever is causing this sharp pain is getting some relief and healing. I am greatfull.

I was feeling depressed off and on. Sometimes it sets in when I start thinking of the way things were and then realize I want seeing the whole picture and my two most closes relatives counted on that and used that to gas light and reinforece alott of issues I am so desperately trying to figure out and grown out of.

One of the things I deal with is getting angry at my lack of ability or need to blind my self to a lot of the same shista that is the basis of what is going on now. Including my mother.

So I am angry and unraveling and it makes me vulnerable to every thing.

So I smile with my eyes and I try to extend a little peace or happiness to break the tension when I am around other. One kind or funny word can change a sitution around. Also learning to keep my mouth shut. I yelled hard a a young man who just couldnt understant there was a line to get into the grocery store and kept coming back to the door asking this or that dumb question then trying to get in. I was second in line so I was in the movie plus he was jumping the line everytime he came back. Finally I yelled, He's not going to let you in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He say tend to your MF business. I say did I curse at you, Have some respect for me and yourself!!!!!$$%$# Then he asks me if I feel better now. Some of my sails were knocked out and I say I was alright from the beginning.,,,@. It could have got bad.

So Blessings and protection to everyone.

We can't show a smile under a mask, but we can speak and show kindness.

Sleep Tight and be safe.

Oh and I am still trying to do my taxes on line free. I used to go to this place the last 6 times and did them on line for free. Now after finishing on two different sites each one starts out free and then state a fee you see and then a processing fee that can be taken out of the federal refund. I dont see any refund and wont for a long time because I owe I am feeling a little twisted seeing the fee and then a processing charged that's not even shown. Because just about everyone who do not have an account or person to do taxes is going to go to these type of options. I am still searching and emailed the old place to sign up for virtual email option to start soon.

Rays of love, light and healing to all.

Me and brother don’t like each other. Me and sister are fine. I have been my parents (now my moms) caretaker for years, especially since my father passed away in 2017. My mother refuses to get a CT, trying to get my siblings involved, encouraging her has been tough. My sister has been trying a little bit, brother could care less. My mother has turned into a mean old lady who verbally abuses me and some other people, she badmouths everyone she’s ever known, she accuses people of the most awful things that she simply comes up in her head. That’s not the reason to get her a CT, she can barely walk, she has falls, her house isn’t in the kind of shape it should be in, she won’t go to doctors appointments, she won’t even leave the house. She isn’t good with taking her meds, I can go on and on and on and on.... I don’t know how many more different strategies to get my mother a caretaker she needs. Imo she should be in assisted living but I’d settle for a CT. My siblings (particularly my brother who’s never liked her) won’t follow through in insisting she gets help around the house. I have done almost everything, outside legal remedies to get my mother help. I DO NOT want to go through the courts but I’m running out of options at this point. I’ve been at my parents, especially my mothers beckon call for decades, I have to start living my own life and know that my mother is being taken care of. I don’t think I’m asking for suggestions necessarily because every suggestion someone has offered, I’ve tried. Perhaps I’m just venting. I don’t know anymore but something needs to be done as things will get worse, if that’s even possible.

Daniel, are you legally a person in charge for your mother? Do you have power of attorney (POA) over her accounts, medical? If your mother is not mentally incapacitated then there is not much you can do. You can try calling Adult Protection Services to check on her. I assume you don’t live with your mother. APS/adult protection services will come out to talk with your mother, observe her living conditions and ability to take care of herself. If you have no legal paperwork such as a POA, then it’s a tough situation.

i was lucky because my mother had a former co-worker who kept in touch with her This co-worker also kept me informed of what was going on with my mother because my mother did not trust me or my sister. Eventually we were able to gain my mother’s trust so we could help her.

Others on here will have other information to share. Keep checking back for more info from others.

Daniel; Do you live with your mom? Why so?

Maybe you need to let mom be on her own and stop being at her beck and call; the fact that your mother wants something does NOT make it your responsibility.

Do you have somewhere else safe that you can live?

I do not have medical POA. I have also thought about APS but I have two siblings (one I don’t get along with) which I don’t wanna stir the pot with, I’m trying my hardest to not go these options but I might have to some day. I do not live with my mother, never stated I did. For many many many years my mom/parents would call me hundreds of times a month to do some chore or errand. For whatever reason, my siblings wouldn’t be called. I absolutely do not mind helping my elderly parent but multiple times a week? 100-200 calls a month based on records. 300+ times couple times. The passed month or two I’ve just stopped answering the phone most of the time. I told my sister to please just check in with her to make sure she’s alright. I don’t know what the final straw was but when I went food shopping for my mother 2-3 weeks ago, she told me to “go to hell” when I interrupted her daily soap opera marathon. I cannot, will not be verbally abused anymore! I will not listen to the outrageous theories she has on people or life anymore. To describe the dysfunction within our family, I could write a book. I am just done.

Dan, unfortunately it's likely your Mom will become more needy as time goes on. Now is the time to figure out what your boundaries and limits are and learn how to put them into practice. Accept your limits and don't let anyone else define them for you. That looks different for each person and sometimes we need help to do that. Letting go of expectations is another invaluable tool. Let go of expectations that you have of other people, outcomes and even yourself at times. It will be difficult and you will undoubtedly second guess yourself many times along the way, in the end though it will be worth it.
If you keep posting you will get some great input from people who know what you are going through. Best of luck to you.

I know it’s going to get worse, it has gotten worse. I’ve set boundaries and I’ve been following them. I am not asking for a perfect mother, my expectations are low on that front. Its hard to watch her deteriorate at every step. I do need to formulate plan to get her the help she refuses to get. Having some siblings who don’t get along makes it more complicated but I will figure something out. It’s very hard to watch my mother decline, I don’t want my last memories of her to be of this mean person. I just try to think of the old days when she had her wits.

Dan, caregiving for our elderly parents is a job for heros. I understand how you feel and about the options.

APS is presently involved in my mothers case to take over guardianship. Her Case Manager from meal on wheels to the case to APS, one reason being that she had been requesting for battery of test (can't think what its called), repairs werent being made. I am sure my sister and nephew think I initiated the process. Sister has health care proxy, has me blocked and refuses to get her a home attendant, the tests, and barely deals with my mother or her environment ifexcept bringing in a tea or a macdonalds breakfast. No clean up, no monitoring a sink could be running over and she would never know. Samewtih nephew who has accessto one of her checking accounts and refuses to do repairs, even life threating stuff like the beam in the basement rotting and being told its going to give in any minute and the bathroom would collapse. Just plain old neglect and then they try to gaslight me telling me I am pretending, well that was beforew I went no contact. We dont speak only I text Nephew as needed and now no replys I just see that he will respond. I do not have any contact with my sister its useless, she is a sick puppy, insane and dangerous. I plan to go to heaven and I am not trying to go to jail so I will be glad when the guardian ship is given to the city and hope there is no crazy retaliation. It really streses me to see how pompousness and how she walks in leaves food on the tray and goes upstairs. Never made the bed, or fix the covers or brush all kinds of debri off bed. My mother puts all kind of stuff in her pockets...

I am long winded but I just wanted to share that I dont care how either of them feel about me actually its been a sought of hate relationship anyway full of sabatoge and spitefull actions. They are not doing whats right and the bottom line for me is the best care for my mother.

Also, my mother abusive to me anyway. I was her cinderella and it was clear that I didnt matter. Some thing were degrading and it just plain breaks my heart to be accused and punnished from mental illness and later demetia. She has never been diagnosed. But as her dementia got worse the ugliness slowed down. I now have the mother I have always wanted. Who is glad to see me and smiles and is considerate. No more crazy accusations. But a lot of messes, and clogged sinks and toilets and surprise mold filled finds.

Keep posting thats what its all about here. Venting, I came on here broken, I got a lot of suggestions that seemed obvious but there are dynamics and issues and pain and history that is not obvious. Certain post, certain ways or presenting things turned on a light bulb and in many things my hands were tied and I had to learn to back of for my mental and physical well being. I had to learn it was okay even if I still feel guilty.

The other thing is APS service has been a long process. Going into year two and now with this Viral Pandemic who knows how long it will take. We had a court case and it was postphonedd because my sister got a lawyer I guess for her to be guardian. Meanwhile the beat and the wear and tear of watching my mother deteriorate or just seeing what the dementia has done and knowing its going to get worse, foes on.

Sometimes I just have times where I just break down and cry. Sometimes I cant bring my self to mop the floor even though its needed. Now when I am tryingto cook and she is on hype mode putting plasic in hiot oven or dishwashing liquid in wings I am soaking I cant't hear myself think, I just close up shop put the food out of her reach and go up stairs or out the house and continue when she has calmed down.

Prayer has helped me forever. I was playing church songs one time it seemed to uplift her but then it started putting her in church mode. Cooking, serving, busy bee on steroids, so I stopped.

I really hope you all are being safe and careful during this stressful time.

Greetings to all, and safety in this time of turmoil.

All is good on my end except for the ususal. Its funny how a constant coough, pain or saddness can become a norm.

Acutally my groin pain has eased up a lot since I have been getting rides. I am so grateful, its such a blessing. It makes all the sense in the world but, people are doing it all over. Its for safety, my contact is 75 fold decreased. Just the past few days I had to stop in store for brealfast sandwich.

Nothing from courts. I am calling the other lawyer in the court. I spoke with her and this virus hit before we could meet and there has been no contact since then except for me leaving a msg.

My Aunt contracted, virus, she was sick about 7 days and was okay. DX. pnemonia given antibiotics, she was tired, complained of no taste bud or smell, no appetite. Slowly she started eating and now she is fine.

One of the old nurses here call and told the mom that she also contrated virus, had bady aches and loss of smell and taste, says she was down for a few days and now back to work!!k??? I dont know where or what type of facility she work in since she left.

My neighbor and good friend's wife slipped and fell in kitchen and broke leg in too places they wouldnt let him ride in the ambulance or in the emergency room.

This thing is serious what ever it is. I am being careful and with my respiratory issues I am a kinda nervous wreck with the mucus and cough. Everyday things but now could possibly mean death. Thank God I am good..

So I am hoping and praying you all remain safe and careful. Stay in prayer and smile with your eyes sense we wear the masks.

Some guys in the store started calling me grandma, I was offended at first, first thing i thought was do I look like a grandma (knowing I am limping and walking slow and trying to catch my breath from walking up the stairs from train station)!

Then I hadnt been in there for a week or so until this week and now I embrace the grandma. Different ethincities, I told young man if I had one I would want hime to be like him, he is a very repectful, patient hardworking person.

Meanwhile my mother found so roach traps and I bought over a year ago and thought I had them tucked away in topp of cabinet. She opens them I thought I had gotten them all but found one yesterday. Concern she may have tasted the inside but she is not sick and they look untouched although opened. I think there were only a few in the package. Her appetite is lovely now, she can almost eat two meals on wheels before I leave, which to me means she is not eating during the day when I am sleeping for work.

Also hard to cook on days off. Some times I have to get out and away when she is hyped. I can hear or think and she is in everything she sees me doing.

Other days she is cool and calm and collective. I know she is lonely, nephews and sister just walk on by when they come in unless they have bought the famous macdonald happy meal with a huge iced tea. The one whom I text , I can tell when he comes because some times I can see an issue dealt with.

Rays of love, healing and protection to us all.

DDDuck, safe wishes to you too! As a fellow respiratory issue person - hang in there. This too shall pass.

Beatty, Amen and thanks so much and be safe and protected as well.

I know have barely posted recently but dang where is everyone. (I hope safe and sound this virus or whatever is going on is not a joke and it seems there is a whole lot more to learn about it as it shifts and shapes and efects so many so differently.

I requested decongestant meds today to help with my cough and mild congestion. I dont want it to get worse. Or weaken my immune system for this new virus or if could possibly be the virus.

Be safe.

Where is everyone! Although it seem like its me and Beattyare only ones in forum lately, lol,. I need to vent. So please bare with me and my crazy.

Today was my fourth 12hr shift. So I come down to feed my mother, do some damage control, figure out and pack my lunch and snack needs, shower and wait for my ride.

Usually I am ready 15mins before he arrives. So today I ran back to get my nasal spray. Then I came back in to make sure where my appliance cords were so I could start cooking when I get home in the morning.

I feed my mother she had been cleaning the tray on her own but today I had to spoon feed her to get here to finish.

Anyways I left my keys on bed and stepped away to window to see if ride was there. Rush to go out to car and cant find keys. I know they there somewhere, am I going crazy. I am patting my mothers full blown pockets no jingles.

Retracing my steps, up stairs and back down, emptyng my bags, crazyeee. I am sweating and freakng out because I cant get out the house without them and even if I had my spare I would not be able to leave not knowiing what happened to my keys.

Well, I hold on to edge of bed to get on my knees to really thouroughly check under the sofa bed. I use my elbow for balance and felt a hard lump. I had just made my mothers bed!! what was this I hit it it jingled, MY KEYs!!!!!!!!!

This took me back to times of true sabatoge and ugly from my mother. I had to fast peddle to not go there. Maybe she was planning a getaway. I dont know but it through me for a loop. Then while I was patting her down before i found the keys she was like stop tickiling meeee. stoooop ticklinng mmmeeee, I did a double take because she is usually dead serious about feeling any of her pockets. LOL this caregiving is not a joke you got to laugh or go crazy or hit deep deep depression. I wanted to cry at first because some of the pain from other stuff surfaced and even then I couldnt understand what happened or why and just hoped my mother was not that mean and hateful. Sometimes knowing deep down what the truth is.

So now I will have a long, key chain that I can unlock and lock without removing from my neck until I get in bed or shower. Shshhh.

Hi Duck,

Good to hear from you. Sounds like you had an exhausting day. Very frustrating to lose keys. So glad that you were able to find them.

Take care and stay safe 💗.

Golden, DDuck, and Everyone, thank you for asking about me! I'm still here and reading, though not every day. We are riding the Covid19 wave and stay at home rules to the best of our abilities and so far we are holding our own. Everyone in my family (near and far) are well, and so far no one has contracted the virus, Praise God and knock on wood! As you know, the first outbreak was detected right near me, and oh how scary this thing is! Stay Safe Everyone!

Hubby is a News junky, but it is becoming too too much to watch for me, and it's giving me Major Anxiety! I literally need to sit outside and read, to get away from it/him, and then he follows me to give me updates, Ugg!

He actually has been a gem, and has been doing a lot of work outdoors, and the yard and gardens are really coming along! I am still Loving the community we live in , and our neighbors are Wonderful! They Love John and he's become quite sociable and popular too, funny because he is normally a quiet type, it's great to see, lol!

I haven't left the home for over 6 weeks, my husband has been doing all of our essential shopping and banking and the like, and we been in contact with our kids, grands and family only through Social media as well as phone calls, but it just isn't the same, is it?

I am Really beginning to miss everyone so much! Sadly, one DIL (a Radiology Technician "Mammogram") and my SIL (a chef) plus a few of my Nieces and Nephews have been laid off, but that is the case for so many, this situation is just tragic and I'm praying for a healthy recovery in all aspects!

About 10 days ago, I finally got fed up with the isolation and hubby took me for a nice drive to a beautiful picnic spot our family has enjoyed for many decades, and it was great to enjoy an outing and the beautiful weather that day. I posted a few pix, and boy oh boy, our kids went Crazy with how we were "putting ourselves and others in jeopardy while they themselves were taking this Virus so "seriously" and not visiting us old folks. I had to do damage control stating that we only left the car for a few, and only to walk and toilet the dog, and that there were only a few other people out and about, and all were taking great measures at Social Distancing!

Whew, glad to have cleared that up, lol, but I do understand their concerns, and am also glad to see how much they care and that they are taking this very seriously! So many people say that this 30-something generation are so selfish and self absorbed, but I'm not finding that in our kids, so we must have done something right, lol! Oh, my daughter and SIL have adopted a Puppy, they figured that now was a good time to get initial training and adjustments done while they are home, so that is Exciting!

It is great to see some of you old timers posting again, and I want you all to know that I am thinking of you and Praying that you are doing well, and aren't too put out by this Virus stuff, and that Soon we will be putting all of this past us and are well on our way to recovery. Prayers for all those who are infected by this Invader, those who have lost loved ones and to those who are still struggling with aging parents, and personal health issues too!

My heart and prayers are with you all, Take Care Everybody! Love, Stacey B

Stacyb2

My wife is the News junky. It's become too too much for me to hear the TV in the other room due to her poor hearing along with her updates.

So, I'm spending most of my day either asleep in bed or up in my Man Cave where the nice computer and big screen are plus my library and guitar. We are in separate bed as of the doctor's orders since her sinus infection has not healed even with medicines.

It's almost time to fix supper once an expected business call comes in.

DD1 was scheduled for a hysterectomy earlier this month, it was cancelled due to the virus. It was rescheduled now for the first week in May. At least she let me know before she posted to FB.

But what is it with some people will post these private things on the internet? Is it one of those narcissistic traits? DD has more than 1,000 FB friends. I would never dream of telling all those people to say nothing about how many others would then read it. Is she seeking attention and sympathy? Seems so foreign to me. And she is my daughter. I don't get it.

I have had surgeries and sometimes never told anyone outside of my kids. I don't want others worrying or concerned about me. Maybe that is just as bad?

Maybe your DD is more extroverted and craves this feeling of connectedness in her life Glad. I think there are two extremes when it comes to illness, those who withdraw off by themselves and shut out every possibility of succour from friends and the community at large, and those who share every. little. thing. no matter how trivial. I always trended toward the first group until I was scared out of my mind last year when I found myself welcoming any prayers offered, and I consequently discovered a community that I had never previously felt a part of.

Was my senior disabled Moms live in FT caregiver for 10yr.s. Care consisted of working my Moms 3 machines needed to breathe, from waking, numerus meds. given several times a day, all home cooked meals, bathing, hair cuts styling, dressing, doing laundry, cleaning, most home repairs, chauffeuring to ( & carrying machines w/ either seated walker or wheel chair lifting in & out of car), weekly Dr. appts., tests, procedures, grocery shopping, all other shopping in general, bi-weekly bank visits, weekly dining out, entertaining company, entertaining Mom w/ baking, doing crafts, reading, coloring, picking & ordering & watching movies Mom liked, made a beautiful garden for Mom to care for, either reading to or watching a movie in bed w/ my Mom till she fell asleep every night, staying close enough to hear machine helping Mom breathe, a few hours away till day starts all over again. Spent every holiday, Birthday w/ my Mom, never left her alone. I never got paid, I put money in my Moms bank account every month to help pay the bill's, I paid for all Moms meds., clothing, shoes, designer eye glasses, ect. every place I took her, I picked up the bill.
My Mom got sick, I lived in the hospital w/ her for 1 month until her passing in there. After she passed 3 estranged siblings crawl out of the wood work, 1 wanting her in-laws (owning a funeral parlor) to pick up my Mom. I accepted this first offer of help in over a decade as I was overly drained & exhausted. The next day they came to my Moms w/ a man from a different funeral parlor, saying in-laws turned them down. At hospital till 4am. so no sleep & pretty much delirious thru the whole meeting, which was so strange & awkward as they never came by while Mom was living. From there they had fraud funeral costs charging 4,500.00 for a cremation, later finding out county cremated Mom for 290.00, ashes weren't even Moms, pocketed money for funeral/luncheon from government, & stole 3 life ins. policys in my name, probated a fraud will naming themselves as executor, shut electric off at house & had me ejected from my Moms house as a squatter throwing me in the street even after I paid the utility bill's. Stole my car & most of my possessions that were at the house. Finally an attorney called, said I called him prior & said now he'd take pay after estate sale, he said no matter what, their will states I get 1/5 of estate sale & they cant sell for less. every attorney I called wanted over 5,000 up front that I didnt have. Moms care & bill's I paid were costly, as I'm on disability. Attorney went against every encouraging word he stated, he allowed them to get away w/ stealing whole estate, w/ all fraudulent charges against me, did nothing for 11 months charging me 8,000 for a couple emails & phone calls. Believing they hired him from the beginning. Executor transferred Moms deed into their name as sole owner & now claim they sold my Moms house & 1 of their homes the same day for same price, selling my Moms house for half price. Every page of executors accounting has fraud charges on it. Not 1 receipt shown, all Bill's I paid on my SSD card, they claim they paid. Charging me almost 2,000 a month from my Moms passing till having me ejected. I'm having problems finding another attorney, all want over 5,000 up front. It's not right what they've done, what their doing. So far getting away w/ all of this, 1 is a life time felon whose path is cleared & covered up by the other whose our county's corrupt police officer who's been illegally wiretapping our phones from my Moms hospital stay & still is. My Mom & I did not deserve none of this. I want justice. I am my Mamas forever guardian, I am Solo Soldier.

Guardian,

I am sorry to hear all of this and hope you can get resolution from all this.

I think you may have the terms Power of Attorney and Executor of the estate confused. The Executor's role does not kick in until the person dies. That is when the durable POA's and Medical POA's jobs end. It also sounds like their was a problem with the lawyer who needs to be investigated.

People post everything on Facebook. My sister n law had posted on Facebook that her father had died. Yeah, geez, thanks for the phone call. Making funeral announcements on Facebook including family.

When my mom died, teacher niece posted her dead grandma in the coffin. Then her 1st cousin in the Mainland reposted it. I didn’t have FB at the time. But my younger brother did. He was so pissed off. He ordered both our nieces to take it down... OMG he just ranted to me on what they did. I was so shocked because mom was a very shy quiet person. Even before she had dementia, she hated having her picture taken.... And instead of posting a picture of when she was alive, they posted her in the coffin.