The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

I think the news feed is the only notification available? Problem with that is things get buried in a short while with all the feeds coming in. I'm not seeing any other drop down menu except under my avatar and there is no messages link. Am I missing another drop down?

I routinely clean up my news feed by unfollowing threads that take up a lot of space (look for the three dots to the right of each comment) - I figure if they are generating that many comments they don't need my advice any more, and I can always check in if I want through the main forum.

Trying right next, right side, of newsreel is a drop Down that says, until you change it, "ALL ACTIVITY" that can be changed to messages. There used to be a setting in notifications that would send you an email when you received a message. I looked and looked, it seems they have taken that option away.

What type of device are you using?

This is one of those times it would be wonderful to be able to post images within our responses.

Click on your avatar and then click on profile, you may have to scroll down if you are using a phone, but that is where your massages are.

I just click on my avatar and then profile to check for messages. It is easy for them to be lost.

They seem to have arranged things so that every answer/comment to something you are following shows up which can be a pain as you get a string of posts from the same question/discussion. I tend to unfollow the topic then. I don't think it was like that before.

I noticed that too Golden & I do the same as you, unfollow the thread.

Golden part of the purpose of numerous place sets from the same thread is so you can see who liked your comment or answer. Silly if you ask me.

But, absolutely agree with you it is ridiculous to see every new post to a thread in the newsfeed. It drives me nuts. I do not need to see every comment and have started to unfollow when a thread responses start to become redundant.

Greetings, everyone! I hope everyone is in good spirit and health. The past few weeks have been on the ruff side, especially with court developements. Meetings with the Guardianship case manager, the court date kept changing. Then there was finally a conference between lawyers and Judge on the 9th. On the 8th I received a copy of my sisers petition for guardainship from her lawyer. It was full of lies, and I learned she was retired which made things so much more worse in my heart because it made it that much worse to know she was home doing nothing, with or for my mother. She had actualy stopped bringing her coffee or breakfast in the last week.

What did make me happy and sad was that the halls were cleaned except my floor which was the first on either my nephew or sisters part since my mother bought the house. Then they did the dining room and living room and of course there was retalition, My lawn chair was tossed. I dont think I will find another like it, the plaid like weave, nylon folding chair, light as a feather and sturdy.

I did manage to plant the yard garden. Some plants have died already. I caint remember names but they were perninials and planted in a pot under tree branches. They looked burnt, oh well, it was fun, cleaned the whole yard of leaves and those horrible spike balls from the tree in all the hard to reach places.
My neighbor helped out. Acutally we went to get plants together.


Okay so later learned my sister lawyer says she isopen for the outside guardianship. What a waste of time and money. I asked to make sure the lawyer isnt paid with my mother's finances. She only pursued guardianship because she thought it was me petioning. Her lawyer could have made it clear but I guess he didnt. If she was legitimate she would have stood her ground. I think that work that the guardian requested was an eye opener.

Then I had to sign up with new agency as the old one dropped my client. We had to use two agencies to fill schedule and they didnt want to work with another agency. Anyways it was stressful getting all the necessary forms and work in. Blessing in disquise I think, we get health insurance after 6 months. This is first week I dont know details also a small raise!!

So the thing is that I am still depressed, still angry about my sisters neglect and farce of care. Wondering if this is all there is in life for me, I dread the thought of my mother passing on, of finding her one day. It hurts my heart to see her confusion as I clean up the messes. Its also frustrating that I forget to take frozen food upstairs sometimes and come down to find it thawed out and mutilated.

So sometimes I find myself hugging my mother hard, scared to lose her and baffled at the difference between this fragile, demented person who was once so hateful towards me as I did the same thing I do now.

I was getting a ride back and forth with client father. But with the protests and haveing to detour and heavy traffic it all ended. He picks me up at trainstation which is last stop on my train and this still saves me an hour of travel and I get a longer sleep period. Still an issue with trying to get my mother to eat. Sometimes she just gets stuck on an outside focus.

I keep hope and faith that things get better in my life and easier. Maybe even a sincere companion at some point through and after resolvement of this pandemic and this seemingly world wide movement towards something new and I hope good,

So, still I rise and I limp through my days and the interrmittent pain in my groin and hip, trying to keep hope and love alive in my heart and spirit. Trying not to become bitter or make my self sick from how I process the cumulative affect of pain and life experiences.

So I try to find goodness in everything, the boomerang effect of kindness and respect uplifts my spirit.

((HUGS)) to all. Smile!! Rays of love.

Talk about depression, my front side tooth cap broke off a few minutes ago. So here I am crying over my life changes, my mothers deterioration which had me going bad today. I laid in bed trying to get a nap in before I set back out for work and just felt like crying all day. Then I am limping all the time from this groin and hip and on top of that I am getting flashes of light one eye which could be a retinal detachment.

I have no doubt that many many somebodies have it much worse. Today I could not get my mother to leave the bathroom and eat. I fed her good this morning when I came in and I left her snacks in fridge and heated her food but could not get her to come and eat. I know I cant count on anyone but myself or expect anyone else to care. The guardianship is in place temporarily. But until help comes in do I spend my life feeling guilty for things I cant handle or deal with.

I was on my knees praying three different times today. I know I will make it through this one way or another its just to hard on my heart and my spirit. Oh yeah!! I',m strong. I sometimes wish a had a real shoulder to lean on or a nice hug from someone who understands and truly has my back. Sometimes I just feel so lonely and lost and afraid that what's around the corner is even worse.

I have friends and aquiantences, but there is no one going through this situation with my mother with me. So glad I can come here and vent a little. Thanks

I'm even losing my smile.

One day I hope to post how beautiful things are in my life. Right now I appreciate kind gestures sometimes to much but I dont have anyone to go to bat for me like I have done for others.

Rays of love to all. Good night.

Duck, first things first. Get yourself to Emergency and get your eye looked at. You don't want to play with your vision. The rest can wait.

I'm praying for you. (((((HUGS))))

Duck, what is your plan about your eye? Are you going to an ER or seeing your ophthalmologist first thing tomorrow? Those are the only two choices.

Go to Woodhull. They have an opthamology residency program, so there will be someone on call for emergencies.



(((((Hugs)))))))

Golden, another issue with each post to a thread appearing in my newsfeed, this morning the first page of my newsfeed was 95% from one thread. I did unfollow there might be future posts to that thread that might be different from what was already posted. But, very doubtful.

On the first page of my feed it would be helpful to see what has been said on other threads of interest. I will have to unfollow more new threads in order to access other followed thread.

There used to be data in the newsfeed that actually provided an idea how many additional posts had appeared since I last commented. If I was I interested then I could go read. Now I have to search multiple pages to find comments to other threads of interest.

Glad, I’m doing the same thing. Frustrating see the Same thread taking up a whole page.

I've been on vacation this week getting a few needed things done here at home. Cases of corona have spiked higher than they were in mid March when we shut down. 130 confirmed today! I’m not looking forward going back to work. Stay safe everyone.

Exactly, SharynMarie!
Cases of Corona have spiked higher than in Mid March, when we shut down. That is what I am saying too.
My husband has been asked to return to work, twice now.
They are saying furlough is over, and what is his status?

He is looking forward to returning to work when the numbers get low, and it is safer. Just not worth risking your life for part-time pay and limited hours. imo.

Testing....lost my post.....

Sharyn, always great to hear from you!

Perhaps the admins are trying to get us longtimers to go away or let us know in a subtle fashion that we are just not posting enough. If we posted more, our feeds would look a bit different. 😕

Corona starting to spike again in many places. People just too antsy to get out. And they said being a introvert is not a good thing. I kinda like my hermit thing. Nothing like my own company.😉

Keeping interactions with mother to a minimal. This evening after fixing dinner I watered the garden and discovered that she tossed the strawberry plants ready to go into a new strawberry pot and broken branches to the apricot tree. I know it's dementia however, she's done this most of my life and tossed whatever I work on. The garden is really the only thing that has brought any real joy to these past months. It's very disheartening.

duck -how are you? Is your eye ok?

glad - I find it very frustrating. No idea why they changed the format. Can we complain?

sharyn - good to see you and know you well, It must be scary going to work.

send -what I am reading abut the US is that there are spikes on the first wave. Numbers haven't dropped enough yet to consider it a second wave. I am all for being very cautious.

pasa ((((((hugs))))) that must be very discouraging. Keeping interactions minimal is wise, Some people are just mean.

Pumpkin got a scare the other day and wouldn't go out. When I opened the door she fled upstairs or downstairs, I suspect she had an encounter with the very territorial local squirrel. Thankfully she is going out again now. Rocky was fine throughout, but she would be very cautious about approaching another animal.

The basement is largely cleaned up after the flood. I have a bit more to do but wanted it to dry up competely first, R says he can replace the affected laminate. I have loads extra. What a relief!!! I got a flip up extension to the downspout. Hope it works.

A few more of the last things being sorted out with the estate.

Since the my release from the burden of my dysfunctional family, I am getting healthier. For example, all my adult life (and some of my childhood) I had sinus infections. They were pretty well chronic. Slowly they have been healing.I am amazed and so very thankful. I am also impressed at what continual stress can do to a person's health.

Take care all. This is a very difficult season on top of an already difficult role. ❤❤❤

Golden, we are over 200 new cases a day. In March, we were at 60-65 a day when we shut done. It does scare me because I live in a state that most believe it is all political. The county I live in, which is the most populated county in Idaho, has been moved back to phase 3. Bars have been shut down again. It’s mostly young people, age group of 18-35 who are getting sick now. They refuse to wear a mask. They refuse to social distance because socializing is most important to this age group. I don’t know about other states, but here in Idaho it has become very political.







I don’t know about all the other states, but here in Idaho, it is very political and extremist.

SharynMarie,
I sincerely hope you can find away to stay home, at least until the numbers subside.
Since people refuse to follow advice on social distancing and wearing masks, I worry with people's attitudes you will be caught in a bind serving the public.

Hoping you are given options.

I have been going on Indeed.com, searching for a safer job offer than being in a crowded store, serving the public. If someone told my husband to do something, he would without thinking if it was safe or not. So he is vulnerable.

Be safe, as safe as you can.

SharynMarie,
I understand completely as I was born in Idaho and I have family there

Young healthy people getting the virus is not something to worry about. They will not die. Not only that, they will build up antibodies which will protect them if they are exposed to the virus again. Better they get exposed now when they are young and healthy rather than when they are old and frail.

My 36 year old daughter has lost 3 HS classmates to COVID 19. All were healthy.

Barb- It's very rare for young healthy people to die and it's even more rare that your daughter knows 3 of them. I would not be so certain that they were all healthy.

Also, the point is not to have NO BODY die. People die everyday from other causes. Thousands of people die A DAY in the US . Every hour, about 6000 people die in the world. Why don't we stop everything to prevent those deaths?

As we see on this forum everyday, there are things worse than death.

Yes, it has become political, even here in the small jurisdiction I live in. But it is the elected ones that are instigators. The governor is not going to tell them what to do, nor are the two very small, ill equipped hospitals or the health department. If it were entirely up to them everything would be open as per the old normal. A variance was applied for about a month ago that is yet to be approved. Two food plants here have both had outbreaks. And one nursing home outbreak. Forty-five deaths overall and 650 confirmed cases. Doesn't sound like much on the surface does it until you consider the small population. It was the highest rate of infection in the state a few weeks ago. Now that stat has moved to another county.

Yesterday, my daughter had to shut down a volleyball camp because one girl was exposed. That was heartbreaking for her as she loves her sports programs for all those high schoolers out there. Now, wait two weeks to see if there was any transmission among the campers. Quite upsetting. We all, I am sure would like things as they were just a few months ago.

As part of this jurisdictions plans part was to move me out of my office, to the front office for all initial contact with customers that visit my dept. This was to cover duties of a 40 year old assistant of mine. She has been absolutely ravaged since a presumed positive, to the point of seizures, 4-5 each day a couple weeks ago. She is now under the care of a neurologist trying to figure out what is going on with her.

I told the powers that be that I would not be in the front office due to my age. This has led to a series of letters to document my underlying condition of a scarred lung from a collapse due to pneumonia about 32 years ago. And since I was laid off in 2009 then caregiving for four years beginning in 2011 no health insurance, no doctor or visits and records retained for seven years those records are simply not available any longer. To say nothing of those treating doc's one in her 50's then, the other retired even if they did remember me.

It was a power play by the powers that I have successfully shut down but I am angry it should not have had to go to this extent. I had to provide a letter from a doc, so I setup a virtual appointment with him. He wrote the letter based on my reports of what happened 32 years ago. Now he wants to see me and has ordered a full pulmonary work up to be done this next week.

So, I guess all in all it is ok that this has happened, it will get me going back to doc's as I should have been all along. But, maybe I don't want to know.

Yes, people die every day but some just shouldn't too young, have their lives in front of them, now this covid that even takes down the young and healthy.

Sharyn, what about a craft shop? Fabric store? Quilting or yarn shop? Well bicycles? 😀 There are jobs out there and I think you are doing the right thing to get out of the deli business. Maybe a small independent deli?

((((((sharyn)))))) - that sounds pretty bad. This virus is not political. I have read of some of the extremists They will only prolong this pandemic.

kellse - you must be concerned for your family there.

send - hope hub can find a safer job.

polar - Some of them will die - not as many as older people but some will. It is a high cost for herd immunity. And reinfection has happened.

barb - sorry about your daughters losses. I know the numbers are not as high as for seniors, but each life lost was valuable. Young age is not a protection.

glad - sorry about your work/health situation and the number of cases in your area. I am glad you are getting your health history in order. Your assistant is very sick. I have read of cases where the infected person does not recover easily. I guess that often does not hit home will it happens close to home. I don't think we can write anyone off as being safe as regards this virus. Good suggestion to sharyn!

Here we were stable case-number wise till we entered stage 2 of our relaunch. E'ton has some some outbreaks and Fort Mc and region have upticks in cases. Over all the province is doing well, just not in some places and I happen to be in one of them. I have dental work that needs to be done, a trip to the lab to check my thyroid and a vision exam, but they will wait. None are that serious. I was thinking about it before this last uptick as we were pretty stable here, but will wait now. Hopefully things will settle down. But, if they do, the next relaunch will affect some areas. Which areas remains to be seen.

What I see is that people on the whole do not respect the 6' distancing. I have contacted for some landscaping and made a point that I need the workers to stay 6' away from me. I think I saw one person outside on the trail wearing a mask, but I don't go to the stores so I don't know what is happening in them which is more important, I think. Some of the answers are not that complicated if people would just buy into them. Some, of course, are complicated. A recent case here was a kitchen worker in a MacD's. The potential for others to be infected is high. Returning kids to school is scary for some parents. I read an article recently about face shields as opposed to masks for school children. They are safer and, appropriately decorated, might be more acceptable to them.

I found this on face book and will share it here. 😋
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you guys know the FDA just approved a treatment that reduces your chance of getting COVID-19 by 5X?
Its trade name is Wearamaskasshole. Side effects include mild inconvenience, possible victim complex, fear of people thinking you are a sheeple, being ostracized by your anti-vax plandemic bros, and the power to stop your own asymptomatic transmission as this country stubbornly dives right on into that second wave.
Check with your doctor, or really anyone, to see if Wearamaskasshole is right for you.

Have a good day, all.

Glad your co workers symptoms sound a lot like meningitis.. and the fact that she is being seen by a neurologist really makes me think this. It is also contagious. Good luck with this.
Barb, I am so sorry your DD has lost 3 younger friends to this. I am lucky, I work in one of the biggest hospitals in the USA, and I only personally know a handful of co workers who have even tested positive, and only 1 was in the hospital ( luckily not in the ICU,, just for a week then a month at home) I am in Maryland, and while we had a peak a few weeks ago, we never saw the numbers that NY had. We now only have 27 COVID positive pts in the entire hospital, thank God. My daughter is 32, and many of her friends are nurses,, she has had no friends test positive. There is no rhyme or reason to this.
I think a lot of the states that are climbing now had their start later than NY and we did.. too bad they did not learn from our troubles

According to the experts, reinfection is possible but it is likely not as severe as the first infection. It may also be caused by the mutation of the virus. Flu virus also mutates, that's why flu vaccine is an annual thing and is only 30%- 60% effective, and 50,000 people die from the flu in the US annually.

I'm just guessing here, but I don't expect any vaccine for COVID will be 100% effective. People will still die. So, the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can get back to living.

https://medicalxpress.com/news/2020-05-covid-experts-ponder-odds-reinfection.html

Just dropping by to wish those for whom it counts a Happy July 4th.

Have fun and stay safe! 🎆🎇🎈🎉 ⭐