The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Ugh! Moms facility had to cut back on visits due to the rise in covid. Only two visits per family, per week and back to visiting in the dining room, 6 feet apart. So I can only visit once a week.

It was so nice to have visits in her room and get to sit close. On the other hand I wont have to waer a gown and gloves, just a mask.

I stopped calling on the phone a while back because it just doesn't work out well. Mom has hearing loss, there are timing issues and Mom needs staff with her to help her manage the phone. I might try booking skype visits through the activities department on the weekends again. I did that last spring but hearing will still be an issue.
I will do what I can but it is what it is. Just one more thing to accept I guess :(

(((((((trying))))) - not much we can do about covid restrictions or hearing issues. Yes, it is what it is. Sorry your time with your mum is cut back.

Kitties aren't going out much, but they are not very wild inside, thankfully. 😺😺

Hi Ev eryone!, I want to wish everyone a blessed, loving and peaceful, Thankgiving.

Things are the same. I am in my feelings a little more, I find myself crying sometimes when I find a big mess downstairs. Its a wide range of mess. One thing is she has cleared out the cabinet which was on the floor,

I am still so frustrated it with the childish naccissistic acts of my sister. She has taken the sheets off the sofa bed this is the third day. My mother took them off on Saturday and I left them off not wanting any parts of DS and DN initiating this bed issue. I know it sounds petty but for me right now its helps my sanity not to play into their games even if it means thinking like them. Yes its dificult for me to not use the sheets I have purchased again for them to throw out. I just cant.

I dont know if the case manager will see this a neglect or incompetence but I plan to lbring it to her attention with hesitation. Becuase their needs to be intervention between the dynamics of my twisted and I.

She goes to top floor turns out the light. Some days she doesnt even come down and when she does she does crazy things. Sometimes I wonder if the mess is only my mother.

Anyways I couldnt sing in last night so I just checked before waking my girl and getting her up. I was glad to see I could sign in. This happens a lot. Anyways be blessed. Hopeful I will get a chance to sign later tonight before I am off for the holidays.

Rays of love and smiles.

High everyone. I hope ya'll have as good a Thanksgiving as is possible in your situation.

Despite my hopes that once my wife had her knee replacement and recovered would mean she would be more active, she has not. She, like her identical twin sister, turned 65 in January. She, unlike her sister, has decided that she is old now and sees no reason to be involved in life anymore than she is, but that means I'm continuing to do a whole lot. Our son, who lived out of state, got out of a lease agreement before it ended in January, plus they wanted him and the others in that appartment to sign a new lease in November if they were going to renew. He was blessed to find someone to take over his part of the leased. Covid has driven the price of Condos down near where he works and he's been looking for such that is within walking distance. Also, if you have really good credit, the rate for you loan is low and even lower when your credit rate is really, really good which his is,. He has seen a place and the sellers agreed to his price. His loan came through today at 2.625%.

I talked with my God-sister this week. With his huge health problems, even with help every week plus assistance from her siblings that live right there, she is finding that she just works almost all the time helping him, making the house more accessable for his wheel chair, working at his business via the internet at home and tending to the family business. She told me that what really gets here is how ungrateful he is, how resistant he continues to be about medical advice like not getting up by himself without his walker. She had just gone outside after they had a blow up over something that she can't do anything about while he expects that of her and she feels bad that she can't. She sounds like if it gets much worse or he falls and breaks his hip that he is going somewhere else. I told her about my situation and her reply was, so you do really understand. I'm sorry about that and hope our lives improve one day. We both agree that our lives are more like being a caretaker of our spouses than it is like being married to them. She felt very energized by our conversation. She's like a 14 hour drive away. We have known each other plus her 8 siblings since we were all kids. We are going to have a once a month talk for she has not been able to find a therapist like she said she would do for the previous one is no longer near where she lives out in the county near their dairy farm. I had higher hopes than this for our empty nest years and even wrote a poem describing it parts of which sounded like the Song of Solomon in the Bible. I was looking forward to us being a couple again, but no.

Having him here has been very helpful to me. After about a week or two, he commented to me that I have not help here and truly everything is on me. I have noticed he doesn't jump every time my wife whines about something, which means I want it, I want it now, and I want someone to do it for me. I need to follow his example.

When her twin sister was here in January for her knee replacement surgery, she commented about how similar our lives are with our needy spouses who are so dependent upon.

Happy Thanksgiving, to everyone!

No cooking for me this year except for only a couple of favorite things (side dishes) that we love. Whole Foods is doing the rest of the cooking!

NoTryDoYoda - I am truly saddened reading your latest post about your wife. It sounds like she has given up and resigned herself to old age and disability at 65. That's just awful.

Are her knees in a lot of pain? Can she walk? Do things? Is she doing PT? Is she depressed? Marriage requires work from both partners, but it seems you are pulling all the weight. How does she feel about being so dependent on you and letting you do all the work? How would she feel it the roles were reversed? Have you had a heart-to-heart conversation with her about how you feel?

Do you think your wife is receptive of some counseling for her possible depression? And marriage counseling for both of you? Your burden was lifted when MIL passed away, but now this? I hope you can turn this situation around.

About your son, that is such good news that he got out of the lease, bought a condo for a good price and got a very low interest loan. It's like he hit a 777 jackpot because he has just saved himself tens of thousands of dollars if not more. A good reason to celebrate and treat himself and his parents to a steak dinner. "wink wink"

Notryyoda, so sorry your wife has chosen to give up on life. One of my older sisters is the same. She is only 65. Once when I mentioned something that might happen in the future she said she hoped she'd be dead by then. She was only 59 at the time. She loves to commiserate with you if you are having a problem so that she can dwell on the negative but if anything good happens to you she doesn't acknowledge it.

I've given up trying to boost her up. She doesn't want it.

I hope you can have a happy Thanksgiving and so on Yoda all things considered.

Hi Polabear and Gershun,

Thanks!

Her knees don't hurt anymore and she can walk around. I'm under the impression that she mainly talks about her mother when she needs to talk about her perception of herself at 65, how much she spends on ebay which I'm so thankful the trust fund from her mother covers. She's on depression meds, but this seems deeper than just depression to me. As my son has said, it's like she's decided that life no longer involves her being engaged.

At this point, I don't think she is open to therapy. It's like she does not want to deal with anything least bit complicated. Her therapist is an hour drive from where we use to live. So, she talks with my wife on the phone. Often, she will tell someone that I'm "ned nurse". I am so tired of hearing that.

In total contrast a life long friend from high school, in her 60's also, has decided to venture out with her dream of writing and producing her own music with so far, one song, that she's written and sung. She's won awards and can be heard on Spotify, Pandora, etc.

My wife did PT early on before Covid and her flexibility is great. I've observed and mentioned that she still walks like she has a bad knee. I've told her that I think she needs to go to a different PT because the PT where her surgeon works never really helped my frozen shoulder like where I have gone. Covid has her very frightened. Actually my health risk in light of this is higher than hers with my having diabetes and lungs which so easily get infections. Also, I've become her driver to all of her appointments. Next week, she is going to a PT that her pain doctor is sending her to. She does have back pain and sometimes that keeps her up late and she's on powerful meds for.

I'm in a bit of shock over her and her sister's concern of possibly moving their parents to the section of the cemetery where a big family stone is. They are in family lots, but evidently they were not actually theirs, but other family members said that was ok. My wife wanted to know what I thought. I told her that after what she and her sister went through in their childhood, I'd let the dead bury the dead and not spend inheritance on such a move. I've not heard anything since and I hope not to. It was obvious when my wife's father died that her mother missed him more for what he could no longer do for her than anything else. He had heart problems, but I think he died of an exhausted and broken heart.

My boys tell me that while my wife's mom was never as passive about being engaged in life, that my wife is becoming more and more like her mom in wanting to be waited on. I think it went totally over her head yesterday when I said that with interest rates so low in light of the good one our son got, that we could save money refinancing. We have a adjustable rate loan that will adjust the first time in 2 more years. Right now it is 3.625% and we have 27 more years to pay off around $114,000 house. We bought this house 3 years ago for $155,000 and the county tax people just appraised it at $177,000. The housing market is strong here. What I want is a fixed rate so I don't have to be concerned about it going up and down.

Frankly, I don't know what she'd do if this mess was on the other shoe.

All of this is one reason that I'm so glad to have my Man Cave! It's my escape! Also, at 63, I've decided to go back to school online. I'm enjoying this for it gives me something to focus on that is bigger that daily stuff.

Well, I need to scan some documents for my son on my scanner that he needs. So, I'm going up in my Man Cave to do that.

Thanks for your support! I need to see my own therapist who I have not seen lately, but I drive to go see him.

Yoda, I sense resignation in your post which I can hardly blame you for. It is draining living with what you have described.

If she is on heavy pain medication and antidepressants that could have a lot to do with her state of being. Maybe she needs an adjustment with them. I know my sister that I mentioned has been fighting a losing battle with medication for years. Her Dr. doesn't even wean her properly off of one before he prescribes another.

Enjoy your man cave and I hope you can have a happy Thanksgiving some how.

Hi Gershun,

Yes, I've been telling friends like my SIL, my life long friend from high school who has always been like the good sister that I never had, and my God-sister (that's a Roman Catholic thing-my dad was her God-father before he died) that I've been feeling more like a Luke Skywalker toward the end when he was all alone on an island in a far away planet before the next movie which included his final victorious fight with the dark side. They don't seem to like hearing me say this.

I've told my wife that I'm not made of cast iron and may break down at some point, but she does not get it. Maybe, I should up the analogy to platinum which is more expensive and possibly stronger! :)

I think that my boys are more concerned about my health than anyone. BTW, my latest blood work results are in. While my good chollestoral could improve some my bad kind is half of what it is ok to be. My blood pressure is wonderful. I've put more effort in on getting my blood sugar down. It is so good that my doctor reduced the dose on my meds. I think that my next A1C test is in December. My retirement money is doing absolutely wonderful. I'll be able to live off of the returns on the principle instead of the principle which means if I go first and my wife does not mess things up that the boys will inherit more than I did from my parents. My dad retired this way, but my mother was not as disciplined, nor did she stay engaged with life her whole life like he did.

I have a lot to be thankful for, particularly this house which we bought 3 years ago and the city it is in; my enormous retirement package that I've not had to touch yet, but I have a financial advisor who is helping me put it in safe places. My youngest son has done like in concerning working on the retirement plan from day one at work which my dad did also that my mom thought was silly. My son took to heart my advice about living like a student for as long as you are in school, so you don't have to live like that afterwards. He went by that in college and grad school and never complained about having to use one of our very old cars that still ran. He extended this style into his first 4 years of working and now has a 400,000 condo in downtown DC with a loan for 2.625%.

Today, my son and I will prepare our Thanksgiving meal and celebrate it with my wife. I hope we can get this newly delivered leg pump for my legs up into the man cave and run it today and I might do some school work as well.

I need to go read the directions on the frozen Turkey breast again in order to know when to put it in as a frozen turkey which the directions do speak to.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Stay safe!

Yoda - I think refinancing your current adjustable rate for a fixed lower rate is an excellent idea. Maybe even get the 15 or 20 year term. Now is the best time to do it. When I first started out in residential lending business, interest rates were hovering around 9%-10%. Haven't seen those for a long time.

I'm glad to hear you're seeing a therapist. Maybe you can implement some firm boundaries so that you don't get burned out. You certainly don't need your wife to turn into her mother. That would be a nightmare.

Has your wife had a full check up with blood work to check her vitamin levels, and thyroid among other things? I mentioned that because I used to feel really tired and needed to take naps to feel up to doing things. As it turned out, my Vit A and D were so so low, in addition, my digestive enzyme levels were also very low, my body wasn't absorbing nutrients from food. The doc put me on a super high dosage of Vit A and D for 12 weeks, and daily digestive enzymes. I am feeling much better now, with more energy. I don't feel like I'm running on an empty tank. If your wife hasn't had the full check up lately, I'd recommend it.

Polarbear,

Thanks. She had all of that checked on and those things are fine.

Changing the subject greatly, but I have not gotten a hair cut with Covid and thus my hair as longer than it was in high school, over my ears and to my shoulders. My wife likes this. I do too, but I have to wash it more often now and use a lot of conditioner.

Hope everyone had a decent Thanksgiving,

duck - hang in there and look after you

yoda - sorry to hear about your wife's frame of mind Glad you have your son there for support. Sounds like making better boundaries might help you.

Trying to write a gratitude list every day. I've been including more veggies the last while. I have been determined not to gain weight due to covid restrictions and yay, I've lost a few lbs. with veggies as a much larger part of my diet Hoping this trend continues. Veggies seem to suit me well.

Schools are closing here soon till after the new year due to covid and more restriction have been put in place as this province is doing badly re covid case numbers and contact tracing. We don't have enough people. The vaccines can't come soon enough IMO.

Asking for prayers for my nephew's wife whose cancer has returned and is not responsive to chemo or radiation. She has just had surgery. He is the one who lost his sister (my niece) to suicide 5 months after mother passed. They are in their 40s. Very sad situation.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Golden I hope you are well and good.

Yoda, I am happy for your son and the good deal he got on condo.

I am hanging in there and I am also having times when I am close to a funk. I find myself having a crazy short moaning cry with events that arise. Lately is few weeks ago I found rat on day handyman was coming to unstop the stubborn toilet. Then he went in basement and showed where the rats had tunneled in along the sewer line out the house. So meanwhile my neighbor says she saw an exterminator at the next door neighbor a few times. so because the rat I found was already dying I assumed he either ate the mouse poison I make or something from next door..

No sound or sign or sight of mice or rat over the last week. Now today as I am leaving I see rat droppings under sink! On top of that the flys are crazy. I dont smell anything but these large black flies keep showin up in bathroom and living room. I kill a batch and come back down and they are right back. So frustrating. The handyman is coming back to finish cementing around the sewer line. They dug in more since I first saw it so he has to get more cement and will hopefully finish it this week. I know there is an opening around back of sink in kitchen where I saw the droppings. I bought poison. Foggers and fly ribbon to set up when I get up in the morning. The handyman says he he will check around basement for other openings.

Meanwhile the guardian manger has cancelled twice the wed before thanksgiving and the Friday after. She then asked for Monday and I told her to call my sister to set up visit. I know she has to get one in every month

I didn't expect my sister to cooperate so now the case manager is coming in the morning. Nothing has been done for my mother and I am thinking its useless to voice compllaints and issues. But then with my nephew in charge of my mothers accounts she maybe able to get thenm to get an exterminator.

Its pointless and useless me to try and communicate with him. He taped a electric company notice on gate ( that I let in gate for him to get as he is paying the bills, I guess) So I can not insult my spirit and mind with further attempts for reason and logic or just plain common sense or any type of respect or decency from my sister and nephew. Its so sad and frustrating.

Also since my sister has receded her petition for guardianship once she found I was not the petitioner. She stopped the little bit she was doing. She still keeps light turned out in hall and I dont see any signs that she does anything for my mother except a paper cup she leaves occasionally with hot tea. I put socks on her feet they take them off. She spills the coffee or tea they leave and its just left for me to clean they dont even toss out the left over cups. Not to mention throw away bowls and plates I use to feed my mother.

Sometimes the pent up anger builds up and I get very depressed or easily tearful. Its frustrating to not see any sight of intervention in care or the environment for months.

I also told lawyer I would be willing to be part of a dual guardianship with an out side guardian.

I will just continue to do the best I can for my mother. It breaks my heart sometimes to think of how I was treated and the favor she pot on my sister and see how my sister and nephew are treating her.

The other day I kissed her forehead and she said I love you too. I never heard my mother say I love you to me. Something I make sure to say to my son all the time.
I really do pray for vengence, I am so tired of the sabatoge and spitefull spirt of my twisted and N and how it has hindered my mothers care and saftey.

My hands are tied and nothing can be done until a lawyer approves a pool trust fund. Meanwhile I am paying for needed repairs constantly while my twisted lays ups on her butt not to mention the constant cleaning. Trying to get her to eat and keeping pests at bay and damage control..

Rays of love

I hope everyone has good next few days. I dread going home regularly. Especially when its to fight off flies and hunt rats!!

Hopefuly Gaurdaian rep will show up this morning I have lots to tell my counselor therapist today.

Rays of love and light to all.

Duck, best wishes with all. Thinking of you.

Duck - hope something good comes from your meeting with the guardian rep and your counsellor. My gut is better but not entirely well yet.

I am still flabbergasted that my dd and sil thought it was OK for him to come over here when he is in quarantine because he has been exposed to someone with covid (that's 3/4 hr on a closed bus) and that he came over without them telling me he was in quarantine. I have written them asking details about his date of exposure and when he will be tested and would they please send me the results, I also told them to stay away until we all are vaccinated and that I was hurt and disappointed that they had such little regard for the covid guidelines and my safety. Thankfully I could let off steam to my oldest son last night. This is exactly the way the virus gets spread around. Even though he is in quarantine he is behaving as he normally does on days off - going shopping etc. coming over here etc. That is NOT what quarantine is about. I guess it is another aspect of a dysfunctional family.

Golden, I completely support you on the exposure of covid through your sil. My daughter asked us how we felt if the grands were exposed at school and had to quarantine for 14 days and us having them at our house during that time. I told her no. It’s too much risk and hubby agrees.

Duck, I hope you are well and things are moving forward with your mother.

Glad, how are things going with you?

hubs and I stayed home for thanksgiving, just as well because I came down sick with a bronchial and sinus infection on Wednesday before thanksgiving.

Christmas we will make cookies with grands on Christmas Eve but have dinner just the two of us on Christmas Day. Cases are still to high over 1,000 a day.

today husband and I went to a nearby city to meet up with hubs second cousin who is a truck driver. We had breakfast together and spent about 2 hours with him.

My kittens are 4 months old and they are so fun! They have their cuddly moments in different ways. They are trying to run outside when we take the dogs out which presents a challenge.

I hope everyone has a decent Christmas with caregiving.

sharyn - You made the right decision regarding the twins, You and your hub can't afford the risk. Your kitties sounds lovely and mischievous as kitties should be.

Sil was tested Tuesday and it has come back negative. I guess there is still a chance he could come down with it as the 14 days aren't up, but I don't feel at risk now. I'll stay hunkered in here without visitors till the vaccine comes. It's only a few more months, I believe. Numbers of cases in our province are the worst in Canada and rising.

I managed to change a ceiling fluorescent bulb in the basement, and I have some kitchen drawer runners that are out of whack that I'll see if I can fix. but some things will just have to wait.

Good to hear from you sharyn.

Take care all.

Sharyn, great to hear from you and thanks for asking how I am doing. I am relaxed, enjoy all of my me time. I am one of the people that does not mind the isolation at all. Covid has been bad here too. Many are laying low so even going to the store is more pleasant.

My cat is just an indoor kitty and never even tries to get out. I have had escape artists and makes it less pleasant.

Sounds like everyone is hunkering down to stay healthy which is a good idea. We have cancelled our planned family vacation due to this pandemic as well. Plus, we are not sure how seriously, my in-laws having been taking this even though my SIL is not in any condition to be taking this lightly. She is currently sad that we can't come up there nor see any possibility in seeing them in late January for my wife's and SIL's birthday. They are twins.

Our son has been blessed in this time of low interest rate to buy a place within walking distance of where he works.

His having found such a low rate, that my wife became open to the idea of refinancing our house which also means getting out of this adjustable rate which was to start being adjustable in September of 2023.

Wife is still on this "I'm 65 and therefore old" kick. I and my son are not buying into what she claims that she can't get done, when she can and does. I've decided to go back to school via the internet and thus have things to do.

My son works M-F online. He will not be here much longer with closing coming up soon and his office has asked him to come back in so everyone's laptops can be updated for their work.

I have decided that my phone call last month to my God-sister helped her so, that I will call her this month and then make it a practice to call her once a month.

My wavy white hair has grown very long since this pandemic began. I do not feel safe going to a hair cut place, nor do I want to try my hand at cutting it myself. Actually, I am enjoying this. I is even longer that it was in high school. Thus, I have uploaded a pic of my long hair beside my name.

Take care everyone!

Yoda, your hair looks rather einsteinish or twainish. Are you feeling more inventive and creative too? 😉 I have always liked longer locks on men. I do not understand the younger men shaving heads.😁

Oh and don't forget Ben Franklinish!

Thanks. I was thinking more along the lines of John Wesley and his long white hair in some of his portraits. And yes, I am feeling creative.

Hi
Everyone, I hope you are all in good spirit and health.

Thanks Glad,Golden, and Sharyn for the best wishes in my situation.

I cant imagine how far this sickness is going to go. There is no limit to the schemes and stints my twisted and her son will plan.

I spoke to Guardian about everything. She says she is going to call my twisted as she is leaving then she says "do me a favor and pay half the bills when they come. I almost had a baby! On top of that she calls my sister as I am letting her out and when she answers she which is on first ring the guardian says she is here my sister responds I'll be right down. I told her if I pay half then I need half for the repairs I am paying for she says that doesnt count. My voice deepens seriously when I am angry and I says if its going to be dual then it needs to be dual all the way,

I fill manipulated. The bills were in the gate unopened, left for my nephew to pay as he has been doing. Yesterday evening as I leave I see the bills are opened and left in the gate. For one thing, I truly need to have a court order and know that the guardian people can monitor my mothers accounts, which they do not have. So I can pay half and my nephew use my mothers funds to pay my sisters its not going to happen.

Meanwhile guy comes and seal up hole behind sink I could see with foam. Then he goes upstairs and unclog the toilet on my floor. Made note that the ceiling and pipes are exposed and plaster probably fell in. He got it flushing slowly. With a lot of plunging and pumping with a toilet brush and the snake. Finally he put the hook locks on the bathroom door and the bedroom door up to the top.
So, Saturday night and early Sunday my mother kept jarring me awake jiggling my door and knocking and shaking all the doors. I am hoping it will wear down and I can get some sleep today.

This situation is so crazy. I know many others are in worse, Please keep us in your prayers.

Golden i hope you are feeling and better and, you and Sharyn are absolutely right about your concerns with this virus.

Glad its good to hear you are good.

The kittens sound wonderful! 4! sounds like lots of fun and smiles.

Oh I forgot. I go to supermarket and they are playing Christmas song, did realize it would hit me. I got tearful and started studying all the reasons why. Then two young ladies started arguing almost physical when one pushed the other, all because of a bump. I couldn't take it! I fussed at them and it distracted them. I got my self all excited but to go though this bs I live and then see the nonsense in action was intolerable. I am also sought of a loner so the covid restrictions havent changed much except me wearing a mask..

Rays of love and healing to all, Smile!

I

Duck, does any of this.territorial? I understand the tax part. This sounds like this is a very dilapidated house. Is it really worth all of the stress?

Glad, if Duck's mom's house is where I think it is, it is worth 1-1.5 million no matter what shape it's in.

The problem I see is that Duck keeps spending money and will be homeless when her mother passes. The house will be tied up in probate, Medicaid liens and twisted sister's shenanigans til the cows come home.

In Duck's shoes, I would leave by whatever means necessary.

glad - are you working from home or in an office? Glad Ming is happy indoors. I've never had an indoors cat.

yoda - your hair looks fine. Great deal for your son. Good for him. and good for you for going back to school. I hope your wife starts doing more for herself. It would be better for her.

duck - I hope you get the bill paying/finances sorted out. It doesn't seem fair. Yes, the situation is crazy, emember to look after you. I too am concerned what will happen to you when your mother passes. I am better thank you

The weather is nice here these days. Couldn't walk as it is slippery but I spent time outside clearing away some dead leaves that blew around my front steps in the fall I usually do it before the snow comes but didn't this year. It looks nice and tidy now and the kitties had a lovely time checking everything out. In a couple of days, before it gets cold again, I will remove hopefully all of the remaining snow. Part of the driveway is dry as it is melting everyday now, which is great, so maybe I can get it cleared. More fun for the kitties and time outside for me!!!

Golden,

Thanks and I wish you the best with all of that ice and snow. I've never tried spiked shoes in the snow or ice. I assume that is what you are talking about. It would be good if my wife would take more responsibility for herself. How she is, creates a burden on me. I'm just going to say, here are your choices and live with the consequences for I can't and I'm not going to do everything for you like your dad did for your mom and Debra did for you as she has told me how you waited for her to tend to her things as well as her own when it was time for your dad to pick you up from college for the weekend. My goodness, how can you have a real college experience if you are not there for the weekend. Another example of enmeshment.

I'm really enjoying being back in school and given that I'm working on a PhD this time, I will have good reasons for not being able to do it all. Sometimes, I think she both wants me to be like her dad, now that she's old in her opinion, in terms of taking care of her, but also like the dad she never had. Well, the dad she never had would not of been so passive, but would have said, get your lazy, fat a** off the sofa and move around to improve you health and lesson what we are having to do because your laziness has led you to believe you no longer need to be engaged in life. My goodness, this will be my 4th post high school degree and my 2nd post graduate degree. She has a PhD in psychology but has never done much with it. Ok, my complaining and venting is out for tonight.

Duck, I also agree that it is time to move out like a duck from a toxic pond or lake. I'd go soon while you have your wings to help you climb and fly like a Canadian Goose.