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It is by Dasha Kiper and contains "stories of dementia,the caregiver,and the human brain". What a book this is!! It has helped me understand more than anything the complex emotions I felt as a caregiver to my demented mom for four years. It has been so healing to me by answering so many doubts,fears,and guilt I had as a caregiver. Please read this book (can get from library) if you are a caregiver!! And you might finally understand better the reasons we struggle so much as caregivers 💛

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Thank you. I enjoy reading a great deal. My mother passed away on April 29th. Sometimes I wonder if I should read something that takes me back. I still visit this site as it always provides great insight and I like many of the posters. In a way I have been set free yet lingering thoughts come from time to time. I try to tell myself I did the best I could by my mother. I have a specialty of being hard on myself yet I could not have prevented an unexperienced aid from dropping my mother breaking both her femurs which led to a long decline. Then a bedsore developed which only grew worse despite daily treatment. I was able to move her to a better facility last September. She entered hospice in December. There was a big improvement in the last facility. Neither her room or her had any had unpleasant odors. The overall hygiene was very good. She was on a waiting list for a few months before a room became available. At the end I always told her I loved her and gave her a kiss after each visit. I provided reading material which she still could do. I cleaned and trimmed her nails weekly. Honestly I can't say I wish I was ever visiting her again as those visits declined and it was sad to see the condition of many residents despite receiving good care. Anyway just my rant.
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Thank you Annie for this book recommendation.My library does not carry it yet (on order)...but this book seems like something I will want to own, and will probably read and reread. I just ordered a copy. The science of the brain has fascinated me always, it seems. I look forward to learning more about my sister's dementia, and (hopefully) gaining greater insight into my own caregiver reactions and behaviors. Thanks again!
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My mom had Parkinson’s disease and developed dementia in her later years.

I wish that I had known more about dementia before my experiences with caregiving for my mom.

Thanks for recommending a book to help people on this forum.
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My husband sets the audio book up on my computer.
Good to understand the struggle finally, this is going to help me be a better person towards others.

I like the Tylenol explanation. It is scientifically known that Tylenol decreases empathy-if I have that right. Knowing this, if you are acutely suffering from the pain of empathy (mass murders, world-wide disasters, so many ill in a nursing home, your loved one hates you, there is a starving kitten in the road), maybe it would help to become less empathetic for awhile?
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