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My momma has bounced back by the Grace of God 3 times after hospice had said it’s time. This will be the 4th times she’s took a decline. A series of things are happening differently this time. She’s more forgetful. More agitated. Still somewhat mobile with a walker but very paranoid. Hiding her meds. Picking at her clothes and sheets when sleeping. And literally sweating to the extreme of soaking wet after napping or sleeping. I’ve been off work with her since July 30 of this year. My leave of absence ends the end of this month of October, will be 12 weeks. Honestly, I’m afraid to go back. Not sure company will allow me extra time. I guess My Q is, has anyone’s loved one sweat so profusely at the end of their days of life? I am Completely exhausted from up and down with her and not much sleep at all the past 2 weeks. Sometimes I just Wish it were all over, love my momma but watching her suffer is very hard. Hospice has been great but I just Can’t handle much more.

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If you enjoy your job to back to it. Some are on hospice for years. If you don't like your job, what do you want to do next? Start working towards that. Does mom need a nursing home?
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Herdaughter54 Oct 2021
Yes mom has been on hospice for about 6 months. I honestly Don’t see her lasting much longer as i see The cancer progressing. She has stage 4 metastatic. I’m just afraid to go back to work because I’m afraid i will Need to take off again within a couple weeks.
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Predicting the end of anyone’s life is a very inexact bet. We were told to look for three things that showed death to be imminent, stopping communication, stopping eating, and sleeping a lot in a much deeper sleep. This proved very true. It doesn’t sound like your mom is there for any of these. I’d encourage you to return to work, you’ll need that after this is over so hang onto it. It will also give you a release from constant stress and hovering over mom. I’m sorry you’re going through this and wish you both peace
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Herdaughter54 Oct 2021
I have To disagree with you. My daddy ate until 1 day before he passed with cancer in 2016. Thank you for your kind words tho
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Why isn't her hospice nurse giving her medication to stop her agitation? You need to talk to the hospice people more. It seems from your posts that you and they aren't communicating very well.
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My mom also picked at her clothes and sheets and hid meds in her bed (I think because she was having more and more trouble swallowing pills). Her skin often felt sticky the last week or so, but not actually dripping. I think the body stops being able to regulate its temperature at some point. Medication for anxiety and pain was crucial for us, and increased as needed near the end so there was no suffering.
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One of my sons soaks his bed with sweat every night. He is 35 and has since he was a child. I have not idea what causes it.
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Nakeeta Oct 2021
Has he ever had his hormones or blood sugar levels checked? Two common causes in males sweating during sleep are hormone imbalances, and blood sugar issues.
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I wish I could answer your question directly, but I can only provide input from my own experience. My mother was in hospice for 6 months, then rallied for few months and was put back in hospice again. I think she has been in now for well over 6 months. She wasn't mobile and was on oxygen but would still sit in her recliner chair, watch TV and eat. She was always lucid when I visited. She always said the physical therapist would help her walk again, but I knew that wasn't the case and it broke my heart.

A few weeks ago I visited and she was in her chair all flushed and said she had been throwing up all night. Shortly after she was moved into the "transition" phase where she is now bedridden. On my first visit, she was agitated, picking at her clothes and bedsheets and crying out random names. The hospice nurse gave her Lorazepam for her anxiety. She was only drinking small amounts of water.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and she is still weak but is lucid again. Last time I was there she ordered an omelette (which was okayed by the staff) and we fed her small bites. She still says she is uncomfortable, and who wouldn't be laying in bed 24 hours a day, so I try raising and lowering her bed. She has occasionally said she wants to die, but the body goes when it is ready. I really have no idea how long she will linger, but it is heartbreaking to see.

So, it is so hard to say when your mother will finally pass. I agree with others that you should go back to your job. My mother lives 25 miles away and I honestly hate making the trip but I go several times a week. The days I don't go I know she is getting the best of care and there is nothing I can do anyway. When I've gone I've held her hand, but that isn't going to bring her back. I feel your pain, and I'm so empathetic to what you are going through.
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The cancer often causes profuse night sweats while sleeping. Speak to the hospice nurse and ask for medication to help your mom through this difficult time. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace for both you and your dear mom.
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