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My mother was always the take-charge, get-stuff-done type, but in the past six months, our family is noticing that she gets very worked up and anxious when she has to cook, clean, pay a bill, shower, or if someone comes to the door or calls unexpectedly, etc.


My dad, 79, is blind and my mom "took care of" him for years. In December, they decided to sell their home, where they had lived for 58 years, to downsize, as they were starting to have trouble navigating the 12 steps to enter and exit. We were hoping the move to a smaller senior living apartment all one on floor (through the Area Agency on Aging), as well as getting Meals on Wheels, would help alleviate any potential problems, but since they moved in, both her and my dad are floundering rather than flourishing. My brother and I are helping our parents with such things as paying bills, going to get groceries and helping to prepare meals, but we are unable to stay with mom and dad full-time due to work obligations. When mom has to heat something up in the microwave, she gets very anxious, almost to the point of panicking. She gets "rattled" (to use her word) using the washer and dryer. She doubts everything she is doing and is convinced she's going to mess something up.


A phone call from her Dr. office that she wasn't expecting (they were calling to let her know they wanted to adjust her blood pressure medication) caused her to have an anxiety/panic attack, which led my dad to call 911 and have her taken to the emergency room in early February, at which time she was admitted to an inpatient geriatric psych unit for a week. She was tested for a UTI at that time and the hospital said her test came back fine, no evidence of a UTI. The hospital Dr. put her on Lexapro 10 mg, but six weeks later, it doesn't seem to be helping, so her PCP suggested she increase her dosage to 20 mg a day.


She had been taking Ropinirole for restless leg syndrome since November, but she hates to take any kind of medication so she wouldn't progress to taking any more beyond half the prescribed dose. She blamed the Ropinirole for making her tired, listless, and weepy. She said she can't think straight, can't make a decision, doesn't have any desire to do anything, and blamed the Ropinirole for "affecting her brain." We were wondering at that time if she just didn't want to take the pill, because she had read the side effects and hates taking any kind of medication to begin with, and we thought that it was actually the move or perhaps another physical reason that was causing these feelings.


The hospital put her back on the full dosage of Ropinirole while she was in the hospital to address the restless leg syndrome, and she's been taking the Ropinirole and Lexapro ever since mid-February.


Has anyone heard of Ropinirole causing side effects such as confusion, anxiety, or panic? I'm wondering if maybe she just might be right, because we can't figure out why she's such a panicky, fearful, emotional person now, when she never used to be.


I understand a move is a huge life event that takes adjusting to, and especially for two elderly people. But this anxious behavior is new for her, and we are wondering what could be causing it, and what we can do to help. Any thoughts or insight would be very much appreciated.

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Here's a list;

https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/ropinirole-oral-route/side-effects/drg-20066810

Was any cognitive testing done?
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This is just a suggestion, from a 75 year old who has also always been a “take-charge, get-stuff-done, type”. Lots of things are changing for me at the moment, in the middle of packing up one house and moving to another, shedding some things and buying others along the way. I am very glad to have my 71 year old very capable husband around to share the planning and work out the options. I can have some sympathy for your mother, even though I hope I would cope better. However my husband isn’t blind, and I am not on my own with new appliances.

We all do a lot of things by habit, without needing to think. It's really hard when too many change, and virtually everything is just that little bit different.

I’m wondering if it might help to hire a carer, even for a week, to be with your mother at a busy time each day. Let mother work the washing machine, the microwave and all the other ‘new things’, with the carer there for support if M is a bit lost. You need someone who will shut up and support, not take over, while M learns confidence to do it herself. One metal object sparking in the microwave can be quite frightening, if things have gone into cupboards you didn't expect. M makes the cup of tea, finds the mugs and loads the dishwasher, with someone there to monitor - you get the picture.

Is there anyone in the family who works shifts and could spare some time? Many schools and colleges are coming up to a couple of weeks holiday over Easter – is there someone younger in the family who could take it on for payment (and lots of thanks!)? It just might help.
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MargaretMcKen Mar 2023
If you think you've perhaps made the wrong move, as Alva has suggested, my above ideas might be good to try first. M will be upset yet again if there is another quick move, and may feel guilty that she's 'failed'. Giving this one a go may be a useful holding mechanism.

I thought again of an old experience of putting the wrong bowl in the microwave, and getting terribly upset at the sparks. It's enough to worry anyone!
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You already know that the move is a huge life event. But do you fully realize that this move was made because you all already recognized that Mom cannot go on as she is in this caregiving? Because I think there may be a lack of recognition of that. It is time for more care for your Dad not provided by your Mom I am thinking. And it may be time for ALF.

I wonder also about the medications, but I think there needs to be now a full visit with POA/MPOA present and I think there needs to be initial testing done for Mom with neuro-psyc MD who can also go over the drug situation.
The acute anxiety is indicative that something is wrong, and AARP says that anxiety is one the the single most ignored and common problem for our elderly. I at 80 am ACUTELY aware of how much more anxiety is a component in my daily life. The feeling of some small change in routine, of your stomach kind of dropping out over something that is really very small is not uncommon as we age, but there is for your Mom the fact that she is on two drugs. That she is giving too much care. She needs an MD to consider going over side effects and possible interactions very carefully, and to consider withdrawal of one or another of these meds. Medications that may initially work can often go wrong down the line.

I am sorry this is happening but I am thankful you are on top of it, and your writing such a complete description for us shows me that you ARE on top of it. Discuss this with Mom. Tell her what you are noticing and ask her if she has noticed, if she has thought about it, if she has any thoughts. And ask her to go with you to her doc for a full workup; include neuro-psyc in that. Treat it like the mystery it is. Tell Mom you are on this and partner with her in solving what is going on for her.

I would also suggest that they now need in home help at the very least.

I sure wish you luck and sure hope you'll update us.
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Your mom was use to her home & knew how the things in it operated. Is their new place in a different part of town she's not familiar with? Some people are afraid of change. Have you asked your mom why she's so nervous?
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MarchingOn, welcome to the forum. Moving at any age can turn life upside down for awhile. I noticed you are focusing on your Mom's medicine, when it is probably Dad that has her so anxious. With your Dad being blind, he has to carefully find his way around the house, learn where everything now is and that probably is upsetting your Mom as now she has to try to remember where everything is after unpacking.

My Mom [90+] wouldn't tell me, but I had a lightbulb moment why she and Dad didn't want to move was because of her own very limited eyesight. My Mom probably could find her way around their long time home blindfolded, use all the appliances, do the cooking, etc. If she and Dad would have moved, Mom would have so lost.

I know for myself [76], as I now have age related eye issues, any new appliance will be simple to use, and I mean really simple. My last washing machine I felt like I needed a pilots license to use. Got rid of that machine, bought a basis Speed Queen, oh my gosh I and sig-other could set the controls in the dark.
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If you google ropinirole, the first possible side effect listed IS confusion, along with sleepiness, falling, and halucinations.
I think I might rather have the restless legs.
All possible causes for her anxiety and confusion need to be investigated, however.
Your description of your mother's recent change in confidence, and diminished ability to easily do familiar tasks perfectly describes how my sister was behaving prior to her dementia diagnosis. She, too, had been a long time caregiver for her husband, and had no difficulty making decisions or getting things done. The stress of that, however, over a very long term, took its toll on her, imo.
...just another consideration.
Best of luck to you in helping your mother figure this out.
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Yes, the Area Agency on Aging did an in-home assessment, the one where they asked her to draw a clock face, recall words after a period of time, etc. AAA said she did great on the test. That was before she went into the hospital though, and mom definitely seems to be getting worse since then. We are in the process of getting mom’s records from her inpatient hospital stay to find out what testing was done. I would THINK if there was a dementia diagnosis they would have been able to determine that while she was in the hospital, but they just put her on Lexapro for anxiety.
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Catskie62 Mar 2023
Look into all the medications she was given during her hospital stay. I was mortified by all the drugs my mother was prescribed in the hospital. Did your mom develop any delirium?
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Google search lorazepam and ropinerole.
The drug interaction between these two medications includes the symptoms your mother is experiencing.
I would be advocating for her to temporarily discontinue these drugs to determine if they are the cause.
I'm sorry to say doctors are lazy, and too careless (in my experience), to consider how all those magic pills they prescribe may be making things worse.
Start with the simplest, most obvious possible cause for her recent changes, and go from there.
My best wishes to you.
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AlvaDeer Mar 2023
Kudos to you for doing this research. Truly great information.
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Update: Mom fell and broke her hip on Monday. She had surgery Tuesday. She is in the hospital where they did the surgery and will have to then go to another inpatient facility for rehab. Pray lots and wish us luck.
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againx100 Mar 2023
Sorry to hear this. How is your dad faring on his own? Rehab is the best step for her after her surgery. How is her cognition at this point? If she needs a higher level of care than the senior housing, NOW is the perfect time to do it. Best of luck.
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MarchingOn,

I am so sorry that your mom fell and broke her hip. Ouch!

I will say a prayer for her and your entire family.

It’s difficult to watch our parents decline. Wishing you peace as you continue on caring for your parents.
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I saw medication totally change my mom and I so agree, start with obvious recent additions for the cause. In my mom’s case once all medications were halted (hospice) her clarity slowly began to return.

Just a tidbit of information concerning the restless legs.
Once finally able to sleep after fits of “creepy-crawly” legs I would wake with restless legs numerous times throughout the night until I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. Once I stopped ALL sugar the restless legs totally disappeared!

I now have the A1C of a non diabetic, sleep like a baby and NO creepy-crawly or restless legs!!

Definitely recommend a try!
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Too many changes all at once. Yes, could be extremely early dementia or the weight of the responsibility. Being the caregiver for your dad should be her focus. Make her life easier. Having family do what they can to take the pressure off. Take all the $$ stuff but sit down monthly and tell them what has been paid , invested in etc. Keep them in the loop. If it is a different microwave than the last place, this could be the trigger as they all operate differently. This was the problem when my brother moved. Both were Emerson but button sequence was different. Take the laundry to one of your houses and do for while. Or get it washed and in the dryer before you leave.
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Hi, I'm an 83 year old mom, living on my own. Just thinking how
sweet you are to be so caring.
While reading the part where you say your mom is anxious now using the microwave, washer and dryer- If it was me I would like to tell you that I feel anxious and that I would appreciate it if you helped me do it-by being there- over and over so I could repeat doing it myself often enough for it to become an automatic body-memory.
That would be so kind of you, because when people do things for me, sometimes it would be really helpful if they could be patient enough to help me relearn do certain things for myself.
Sending love to you all xo
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When my husband said I asked his doctor to remove any medications that fog the brain so that he could have a longer period to drive. Ropinirole was the first medication to be removed. I would suggest you hire a Visiting Angel for a month to see if the support brings about a calming effect. If not, time to make a group appointment with the Geriatric Psychiatrist who can educate you (and your brother) and medicate the parents if it is deemed helpful.

The Visiting Angel should be someone who likes to cook and can keep the brains entertained and challenged. My husband gets up every morning and works on Luminosity.com. We have made all our bills autopay. An occupational therapist can visit their new living arrangements and make suggestions.
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Tashi again
Also, I wouldn't want to take the medications you mention.
I feel that your kindness calmness and consideration is so helpful
in itself- could you Google suggestions for natural ways to treat restless leg syndrome- I know that when I get leg cramps at night
that if I take a quarter tsp Potassium citrate powder in a little water
that they go away- maybe you could watch some enjoyable TV, listen to music together....
Maybe she's a bit burned out caring for your dad. I know about that. Perhaps she needs to have some good cries to relieve her anxiety, and to talk about her feelings.
. Moving, and the process of growing old in itself-are both a huge learning curve.
You and your brother are doing great. You are doing something so important and valuable for your mom and dad. Know that, trust your own hearts, and all will be well .
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Things tend to change VERY quickly for elders. Your folks have had a big life change heaped on them recently which isn't working out properly, it sounds like. They need Assisted Living where mostly everything is done FOR them, so mom's anxiety can calm down a bit. Depression and anxiety meds like the SSRI Lexapro needs to be adjusted as necessary to alleviate symptoms on mom's part. 10mg to start can be increased to 20mg if necessary, w doctors approval.

Does the Ropinirole help with RLS?? Nothing helped my dh with it, it was caused by a bad liver disease he was unaware of. The meds caused him side effects too, which caused him to sop taking them. Here is a link to an article about Ropinirole and the HUGE NUMBER of side effects the drug may cause. Mind boggling.

https://medlineplus.gov/druginfo/meds/a698013.html

I'd be suspect of it myself, tbh. See what the PCP says and whether mom is better off w jumpy legs or potentially disastrous side effects. I'd ask for a series of blood tests for her too to rule out disease causing RLS.

Good luck.
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Is she taking anything to help her sleep? I was on Ambian and had many of the same side effects. I figured I’d rather not sleep than lose any more brain cells.
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i'm 76 and in decent health - i still have my issues. i live alone and do things with my friends, however, the past few years i am leary about being on the road bc of other drivers, not my age - i'm anxious about getting older, and my friends are as well, i'm just more anxious than past years, i'm also anxious about death. idk if you would say this is a sign of dimentia but it's definately something over 75 year olds feel. If you see other signs that dimentia brings on then you should look into it. good luck
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Rawbbb3 Apr 2023
When I was young I assumed we would all adjust to whatever aging throws our way. I was surprised when I became 60 to discover I’m not much different than when I was 40. At best we become resigned to the constant bad news waiting around the corner. At “only” 65 yo, I’m asking myself how did I get here? If we knew old age was coming, some of us may have had more empathy for the elderly instead of thinking they were accepting it just fine.
I try to be thankful for the comforts life has provided me with, especially in light of the misery others have endured. And it’s never too late to get pleasure from helping people less fortunate, even if they are generations younger-or older- than us.
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MarchingOn: Since you do state in your profile that your mother suffers from dementia, perhaps she needs to see her neurologist.
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Hi, I am really sorry to hear that your mom is having such a difficult time. My mother is currently in a rehab and was experiencing severe anxiety and feeling very unsettled. Her doctor put her on Remeron to help ease her anxiety and it seems to be helping.

For restless legs believe it or not magnesium is an awesome substitute for prescription drugs. You might want to ask her doctor if this could be an option for her?

Lastly, when people are taken from a very familiar environment and to a brand new one, it can be overwhelming and difficult for them to adjust. It might take some time for her to get used to the new apartment.
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Please check for sleep apnea as the interruptions to sleep can cause many of her symptoms. Good luck.
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Moves can be very disorienting for seniors. They have to figure out and get used to so many new and different ways to do their everyday things, such as where to go to do their grocery shopping, getting a new pharmacy, bank branch, maybe get new doctors, dentist, how to use the new stove, microwave, washer and dryer, etc. Keep an eye on your parents to see how they are acclimating. Your mother's issues with getting flustered over everyday things could be early signs of dementia, but hopefully this is only temporary and will get better as she adjusts. Make sure all of their paperwork is in order while they are still capable if signing legal documents. They need to set up Powers of Attorney for medical (healthcare proxy) and financial matters, have wills (both of them need wills) and have living wills with their advance medical directives. All of these legal documents are just in case they are not able to make decisions for themselves at some future time. Sometimes people set up joint POAs (for example both you and your brother), but this can make things more difficult. If there is an obvious person who would best on finances and medical decisions have one person as the primary POA and the other as a backup. They will probably need an attorney to assist with the legal documents, especially if they have assets. If your parents need to get a pro bono attorney, connect with a local social worker or your state's agency for aging to ask for help. It sounds like you and your brother work well together, which is good). Maybe it's time to take over their finances and bill paying. Have the difficult discussion with them about what they would want to happen if they ever get to a point where they are not able to care for themselves and if their care becomes more than you and your brother can handle. Their basic options are getting in home caregivers or moving to an assisted living/memory care/skilled nursing facility, depending on what kind of care they need. Much depends on their finances. If it comes to getting in home caregivers, lock up all of their valuables and financial papers. At that point it would be better to set up their accounts online and paperless. Help them get a primary care physician if they don't have one. Their PCP could give you advice about and oversee their medications. Also make sure that their POA is on file with Medicare and Social Security to be able to speak on their behalf. Banks, credit card companies and financial institutions also have their own POA forms. All the best to you and your family to find the best solution for the whole family.
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Did you say leg cramps? I found a fabulous foam that I keep my bedside; it's my understanding that poor circulation is the real culprit.

https://www.amazon.com/Theraworx-Relief-Fast-Acting-Cramps-Soreness/dp/B06XD2YSX1?th=1
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