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Two months ago, my 83-year-old father lost his wife of 28 years. His wife had a 40-year-old caregiver for 2 years. This caregiver also provided care to my father at the start of the 2 years and has been a constant presence in the home. They have stopped the weekly caregiving. It appears my father has fallen in love with her and within the last month has bought her a car, and given her additional money. He is secretive about his communication with her and his feelings for her and is hiding the payments. The text exchanges show he is in love with her and that they may have had some physical exchanges. Her texts never quite cross the line but stay at ‘I love you’. His texts very much cross the lines of ‘friendship’ or ‘familial type love’. This obviously feels like she is taking advantage of him and is inappropriate. What can we do? We are flabbergasted as this is completely out of character for him.

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Hi Dammil - in addition to what others here have advised, can you speak directly to this woman and explain to her that she's taking advantage of an elderly man that she was employed by - and this is considered financial elder abuse. She cannot accept a car and money from him - and if the car and money isn't returned, you can and will report her to APS. What she's doing is unethical and unprofessional.

Hopefully, this may deter her from taking more from your father.

Wishing you all the best ~
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Reply to Hopeforhelp22
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Can you step in and protect his money before he has none? Time for a blunt conversation with dad about what she really wants, but not before making sure you or another trusted family member has POA for financial and healthcare decisions, dad has a will in place that hasn’t been recently altered, and fraud alerts are on his banking. I’m sorry this is happening, sometimes it helps to act like you have more power than you really do. Hope you can get some traction
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I'm sorry but this is disgusting. What 40 year old woman in her right mind would want anything to do with an 83 year old man except to get his money and whatever else he might want to give her?
And sadly your father is too old and naïve to realize that he's being taken for a fool from this gold digging woman.
This story will not have a happy ending, and I can only hope that this scumbag of a woman won't have cleaned out your fathers finances before it's all said and done.
If you are your fathers POA, I would certainly give his bank a heads up about this scam going on and see if they can perhaps freeze his accounts, so as not to be taken advantage of anymore.
It really is heartbreaking how many evil people like to exploit the elderly, and we can only hope that this woman will get what she deserves.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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