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My sister has nothing to do with my Mother and I am the only one who had her move close to me as she was alone so now I can help her if she needs it .. She is like Jekyl and Hyde with her mood swings and often bad mouths people, including me and can use ppl to do what she wants by manipulating ppl, including me.
She says I am the problem when she forgets things she said, trying to accuse me of making up things when she said them in the first place..She gets verbally/emotionally abusive at times and l have to remove myself from the situation and I feel very sad that she is getting so mean and rude..She has started swearing at me which was something she had never done before and it hurts me when she has lack of respect for me...She tries to look good to everyone around and it is me that has to deal with the real person which is very opposite and negative..I was in Nursing and dealt with Alzheimers Patients and I am wondering at 87 if she is starting to get Dementia. I also notice her left hand shaking very bad at times and asked if she talked to the Dr. about having possible Parkinsons.. I can't get any help from my sister and I feel very alone in this nightmare. I was thinking to go see a counsellor but I am not sure if it is just me being overly worried/scared in this change I have noticed.

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With the Parkinson's she could possibly have LBD and this can come with personality changes and possibly violence.
Medications can help but often with the violence sometimes the safest place is a Memory Care facility where they can handle this better.

Removing yourself from the situation is the best way to handle things..until she can not be left alone.
If you intend on keeping her home there are caregivers that you can have some in to help. I would make sure that the house is set up for the long term though. No carpeting, no stairs, large bathroom that is accessible to name just a few things.
Talk to her doctor about anxiety medications you might have to try a few before there is one that works well. And many medications that are typically used can not be used on people with LBD (Lewey Body Dementia) as it can be fatal.

**side note a friend's husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's and early in the diagnosis his doctor suggested a glass of wine to ease the shaking of his hands.**
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I think a doctor for your mother is what you need, not a counsellor for yourself. You seem to be doing a good job to look after yourself, as you remove yourself from the situation when you need to. But you need more medical information about your mother's situation and what is going to happen, and possibly some medications that might help her control her moods. Best wishes.
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Chell63, has your Mother been tested for a Urinary Tract Infection? Such an infection on an older person can cause mood swings, outbursts, etc. Antibiotics will help manage the situation.
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My mother is the same way too! When I try to express an emotion, she always seems to get mad at me for it, then get mad at me again for bringing it up.

Any ideas as to why?
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