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Aunt slept in bed first night and was able to get out ok. Now she feels like she won't be able to get out of bed. She refuses to use the call button for any assistance. The bed is situated differently from her house arrangement. Assisted living insists she will get used to the bed and not sleep in her recliner. I suggested moving the bed to simulate the way it was in her house, but she is refusing that. Any suggestions?

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Show her some pictures of pressure sores.

Don't really do that, it would be brutal. But that is the reason the AL is "insisting."

I actually did once do that, but it wasn't to an elderly lady - it was when a gentleman who'd been declining support with personal care for five days running at last agreed to stand up from his armchair for a wash, and I began, and then said "WOAH - !" and took a picture (with his permission) to send to the District Nurses for urgent attention. He'd had no idea how bad things had become. He then also agreed to an OT visit to help him find a way to transfer to bed at night.

If possible you need to nip this in the bud. She isn't refusing because of where the bed is placed, evidently. She won't call for help? She's afraid of not being able to get out of the bed? Next time you go, ask her to rehearse the routine and see if you can spot what the real problem is.

And do talk to her about the risks to her skin integrity and decreased mobility. People get comfy in their riser recliners and start insisting that they sleep just as well in them, but the reality is that we all move around when we sleep and you can't do that in an armchair. It's a disaster.

Is this her own bed, by the way, or a new one that she isn't used to?
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The memory care facility I'm planning for mom will allow sleeping in recliner if it is in doctors orders. Mom has severe osteoporosis causing her spine to curve so much she cannot lie flat. She has slept in recliner for about 12 years. She says it is too hard to get out of a bed and is afraid she won't be able to. One facility I considered made a good point that it is easier for residents to change positions while sleeping, also easier to turn residents if needed to prevent pressure sores, if they're in a bed vs recliner. And there isn't the constant pressure from possibly being in same sitting position all night. However there are adjustable hospital beds that may work for mom. I'm getting the adjustable bed, but have doctor orders allowing her to sleep in recliner, with feet raised, if she wishes. I hope you find something that works for your aunt.
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What makes this bed 'different' could be the mattress (too soft, hard, plastic cover, or even the adjustment/contour if not aligning to her shape.
If none of that applies, maybe you could place a favourite throw, pillow, or bedspread, sheets from home (if permitted), or a wool underlay to cosy it up a bit.
Even a favourite doll/teddy bear could be more inviting.
One more suggestion is to have the meal served on a bed table, while watching tv, or pursuing a favourite activity to remove the negative perception.
BTW, 'insisting' does not fill me with confidence that the staff have the necessary skills to negotiate and be, pardon the pun, accommodating.
... and ooh, if she just can't get out of the bed, why not provide a grab rail (attachment to bedframe) - my dad found this most helpful.
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I had a similar issue. I ended up buying the same bedspread she had in my home with the same foot blanket. She did have an issue with the orientation of the furniture at first but changing the covers and using the same pillows she had made a difference. The other adjustment was that she had to get in the bed different since it was turned the opposite way as before. It took about a week to get her comfortable with it.
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Maybe she likes the recliner because it's not so hard on her back? We got my MIL a hospital bed when she went into AL so that we could raise the head and angle it at her knees. She and her husband often slept in their recliners. The bed should also be height adjusted so she can easily get in and out. It will take some time for her to adjust. Using similar bedding and other furnishings will help.
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Both of the LO's I have in homes sleep in a lazy boy as they are unable to get in and out of bed, I do not understand how the home can make such a request. I would talk to the admin.
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My mom refused to go to bed.. drove staff crazy.. I think it was too much effort…if I had to do it over, I wouldn’t have nagged at her ..
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