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We are looking to have someone stay with our 92 year old mother when family members are not available or away for a period of time. She doesn't need a nurse...just someone to be there to make sure she eats and takes her meds and a presence for most of the day. I have researched and spoke to a few but wondered if anyone with experience in this can provide some words of wisdom.

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I wrote this and am putting it here because I believe everyone should understand what is going on with Medicare and Medicaid even though most readers here likely are private pay. This MYCARE will eventually be, if they go forward as planned and told to me, everyone's problem. I would seriously like it to go away now in the trial stage. The trial isn't for the people on Medicaid only...it's to see how the process works. It doesn't...but they say it does. I believe this will be everyone's problem. And as far as independents at least you can find them...know where they live. They know where your loved one lives. What is the problem with knowing who is working for you? Agencies keep it secret. Well read and let me know what you think. Thanks.
I just added the petition: "MYCARE and Privitization of Medicare and Medicaid"

It would mean a lot to me if you took a moment to add your name because:
Now it affects only the poor disabled and elderly on Medicaid and Medicare (under CMS which governs both). But this is a progressive movement to privatize these programs and it WILL affect every citizen of the US; that is the plan. Please stop Mycare NOW and stop it from becoming the Medicare and Medicaid of the future for everybody in the U.S. It's terrible. You'll spend most of your time filing grievances and state hearings only to be denied. You'll have to get prior authorizations on many of your regular medications as often as every 6 weeks. In the meantime, how will you get your medications without a break in service? We are offered about 2 options/companies to choose from to deliver our services. Instead of privatization of services which never works (look at the prison situation when they've tried private prisons!) they COULD spend more time working on fraud to save money. They used to make spot home visits to recepients....but no longer. Just as with children's services, they set a time for an appointment so you are prepared. There is fraud and waste. Fix that and save money and quit trying to save money by going private which takes away our rights to services we need and deserve. There are also new advocate organizations....trust me....they are paid by the same system that is promoting this Mycare/soon to be YOUR CARE. Even if you are never disabled, you will need Medicare one day. Don't let them take this away from you. Stop it now. Social Security is bound to join in as well. Fight socialized care and let's stop this slippery slope to rights lost. These companies tell you they pay for everything Medicare and Medicaid pay for. This is not true. Providers don't often take the Mycare insurance either. They pay less and less often. Ask them! They will tell you the same thing I'm saying here. Another issue...they have increased pay for agencies for care of disabled and elderly but CUT pay for independent workers TWICE this past year. There are things going on in Mycare that simply do not make sense. There are a lot of hidden things going on....we can't know why they are doing what they do. If we lose independent workers by pay cuts, we will lose choice of who we have to care for our disabled and elderly. With agencies you don't even know the last names or addresses of who is caring for your loved one. With independent workers you do. But the system is doing everything they can to get rid of independent workers by paying them less and less. When they leave independent work, we lose our rights to choose who cares for us. There are so many problems with this Mycare and turning to private companies for care. This is NOT regular insurance and they pay differently than private insurance companies. Do not be fooled. Talk to clients/patients, independent providers and families of loved ones who are victim to Mycare. And remember, soon it will be the way for all of us who need Medicare and possibly Medicaid and then may leak to social security. Get the cheaters off of the system to save money, do not destroy the systems for those who need it.
Thank you.

credomobilize/petitions/mycare-and-privitization-of-medicare-and-medicaid

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Some Caregiver services are nationwide. Right now I am using Home Instead for my parents. We just started on Sunday, and the 3 shifts of employees have been super nice. They are so nice makes me want to get sick so they can take care of me :)

My issue is with my parents, my Mom [97] doesn't want the gals in the house. Dad on the other hand has enjoyed talking with everyone who has come over, he doesn't want them to leave.
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I have also used Home Instead for 2 years. Especially like that they regularly have training sessions for their folks - around dementia care, fall prevention, etc. My experience has been great -- however franchises may be slightly different. Talk with the owners and others in your area who have used them. Even with a great service and people, not everyone will be a good fit for your needs. Don't hesitate to ask for someone different if that is the case.
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I know an incredible woman from Ghana who lived-in with my sister when she was terminally ill. She just lost the patient she was caring for about two weeks ago but I'm not sure if she has a job yet. She is in the area you're referring to so if you're interested in speaking with her feel free to pm me.
I also used Right at Home Healthcare and the owners were excellent as were most of the caregivers. I did have to let go of one as she left my sister alone and would watch tv and talk on her phone but the others were lovely.
Good luck. If I can help just PM me.
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We too have Home Instead coming in for my mom. The two caregivers she has had are very nice. There are different levels of care available. Maybe more medical, maybe housework, maybe travel to doctors, etc.

Just a few things to watch out for. The problem I have with this set up is that they cannot make her do anything. They can suggest, but cannot make her. Eating and drinking are a huge problem with Mom. She tells them she doesn't want lunch. So, they either just don't make it for her, or they make it and let it go. She needs to use her walker but refuses to. They are supposed to wash her hair every week, but if she she says she doesn't want to, it doesn't get done. It's not their fault, it is what they are supposed to do.

Her doctor also told me that the caregivers that come do not receive the whole amount that we pay them. They may only work for minimum wage, and not really do what they should. I haven't found that to be true, but he said it happens often. It is best to pop in unannounced from time to time to make sure things are going as planned - just to make sure. Talk to the helper if you can about any problems they are facing with your parent and vice versa.

For my Mom, having them there is for safety more than anything right now. She doesn't move, but she has a tendency to fall when she does get up. Mom needs 24/7 care, but this is the best I have been able to do with my siblings. Long story there.

Good luck with picking one out. They're not bad, and they give peace of mind.
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I too live in the Central Jersey area. I used Brughtstar and then Senior Care Options. Had is almost 95, has dementia and suffered a mild stroke in May. I needed someone to live in the house 24/7. His dementia isn't terrible and he can carry on a conversation with you. He didn't want to shower or change his clothes. It was ok with the aide. I paid an awful lot fir them to care for dad, along with buying their special foods and their laundry. I found that they are mostly from Ghana and require special foods along with what I bought for dad's meals. One aide drove and put him in bed and went out for the evening. Another let him go to bed at 1PM and was annoyed that hexwoke her up at 2 AM for breakfast. He never got any dinner! Then there was the father/daughter tag team that lived within walking distance of his home. They fudged the daily paperwork so neither the agency or I knew who was there and when. The agencies were very apologetic about these instances and replaced the aides, but what dad needed was stability, not different people coming and going. It should also be noted that the aides are registered with multiple agencies. As one agency explained to me, we interview them, look at references and they put on a good appearance for us, but once they get into a home, unless a family member is on topbof things, we don't know what exactly they do. Dad is now in assisted living. My suggestion is word of mouth, rather than agency. Ask doctors, friends etc who they have used and go from there. I know my 3 months with agency aides wasn't good!
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We are using Care Finders out of hackensack n.j. 2days a week when i take a break .So far so good. Mom senses its not me but they are trained to help her adjust. Putting in a nanny cam , for my piece of mind. I ask for advice from this forum about this but didnt hear from anyone. Good luck
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I also prefer independents to an agency. My experience with agencies was that the level of experience and even maturity varied so greatly that you never knew what they might do. I caught agency employees doing bizarre things to my mother, like cranking her bed and leaving her with her head down and feet way high which was dangerous! One brushed her hair out of her head. Another grabbed my granddaughter's potty-step from the bathroom and made my mother try to use it to get into bed, which scared my mom as it was so small, and of course it broke, being made for less weight. Agencies hire anybody with a certificate showing they barely passed a six week course. Independents often have a great stake in maintaining their high quality because they are running their own business. It is their own livelihood and reputation and they are more professional. Even so, I would spend time right along with them at the beginning, and be clear with them about what I expected. And yes, I'd install a nanny-cam, not for petty theft, as no professional would do that, but because I care about their tone of voice and how they work with my loved one, when I'm not there.
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We are using Home Instead also, with my in-laws in AZ. (We live long distance and they must have someone in the home 24/7.) We have used Home Instead for over 2 years now. It has been very difficult to keep good caregivers coming in. The ones that do come are constantly on their phones texting or Facebooking and hardly pay any attention to my wheelchair bound FIL who needs physical help to move from chair to chair. (left-side paralyzed from a stroke + moderate dementia) They want to do as little as possible, watch TV, use the WiFi, etc. We constantly complain about this to the agency, but unfortunately this is an unregulated business in AZ and the caregivers have so much autonomy. We require and have asked for "AWAKE" night shifts because my FIL doesn't remember that he is paralyzed and still tries to get out of bed on his own, but most of the time we find they've slept on the couch. I have had numerous meetings with everyone from the caregivers themselves all the way up to the owners. Still, we get apologies, and no improvement. :-(
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Try independent workers. I had the same from agencies. Now I don't. I believe it's because they get more money, and also I have their information. I can file charges on someone I can locate but the prosecutors wouldn't take complaints about aides from agencies because I didn't even know the aide's last name. They need to be on equal footing with you. If they are in your home, you should know who they are. If not they feel....they have no license to use, it's your word against theirs, the agencies always went along with the worker (they profit as long as the aide works)....
Good luck to you.
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