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May end up deleting this.



Hello, I'd rather not delve into my situation but long story short, Grandma's been bedridden lately and she's had a really bad incontinence. Ideally this is temporary.



Mainly wanted to ask for advice on how to handle things, admittedly (don't wanna go into it, me (mostly me, Dad's burnt out) and Dad could do way better and that's an understatement.



For now, wanted to ask advice on how to handle things, mainly, for now, Grandma mainly wears a shirt and diaper, realizing it's going to leak out (especially since we're not diligent with the 2-3 hour rule, which we (or me really) should) and go into her blanket.
Which brings to my main point; the leaks may not be noticable and go into (it's a furry one) blanket (there's time or two where I try to turn it around), Dad thinks I'm OCD (and I may be/act neurotically but don't really help) about the idea of frequent blanket changes. To be fair to him, he could be burnt out.



Thinking about an underblanket like in hospitals? Also advice on changing her, cleaning her in bed (esp if she is dirty, which she is), turning her or pulling out sheets and diaper.

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I was amazed, completely, by the small amount of liquid mother could consume and the massive quantities of urine she could produce.

She had a mattress protector. Then a sheet. Then a few layers of CHUX, then a huge depends with 2-3 very heavy duty pads inserted into the depends. She could still fill everything.

Once the blanket is wet, it 'wicks' the moisture throughout the whole blanket. IMHO, once a blanket is wet with urine, it must be changed. For cleanliness sake and for the sake of smell, which will come on really fast and be really gross to deal with.

I would ask her Dr about a catheter. Mother had one for years, but started to leak despite that! She never complained about the catheter even tho it looked very uncomfortable. She would not empty and clean it as often as she should so she had a lot of UTI's, but had she allowed us to hire outside care for her, it would have been a lot easier on the family.
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SpottyCare Jan 2023
Please note, bullshitter here.

> Once the blanket is wet, it 'wicks' the moisture throughout the whole blanket. IMHO, once a blanket is wet with urine, it must be changed. For cleanliness sake and for the sake of smell, which will come on really fast and be really gross to deal with.

Understood, how would you advise me when talking with my Dad about switching blankets (I really should laundry all the furry blankets so there's a reliable supply), he probably change it if it's not too obvious or noticable (though considering his point, laundrying the big furry blankets does seem like overwhelming and expensive especially compared to how often we do it now).

Maybe an underblanket (so she has a big/furry or comforter like if not actually comforter/and I think absordant) would be a good idea (I can try to change those daily or more I should, but I'm extremely bad at follow through).

To be fair with my Dad, for one, he literally does all the work so I don't have much to speak from, also he thinks I may be OCD (which I may/may not have) about it. I've known this but I guess if I pick up the slack, he would be open to hearing me out.

Some of it is probably not adhering to the 2-3 hour rule.

Aren't catheters invasive or much (I'll tell my Dad to pass it to the weekly nurse)? Ideally, grandma is just resting up (but what if she's declining cause she's in very dirty/soiled conditions) and once she is able to stand or walk, she can use the commode or bathroom, the issue is less moot.

Any advice on how to clean her especially since she's been or often contaminated or in contact with contaminated areas?

Or wipe her as much as possible, add a little soap and water to wipes?
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There are plastic? covers for the mattress so the bed doesn't get soaked. Another one under her would keep the sheets from getting soaked if there is an accident. I noticed my mom's bed was in perfect condition when I picked it up from memory care. In nursing home she had to be in a hospital bed and they had that covered too. Instead of all the laundry look into getting covers, but I think with only a diaper on, it might be uncomfortable for her, so you may still have to do frequent washes of some sort of sheet or blanket directly under her. The nurses on here will give better advice.
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SpottyCare Jan 2023
More to the story I'm not saving and bullshitting here.

The issue I'm referring to is when she's soaked (like overnight) to the point of reaching the front and top of skin but I understand that's more adhering to the 2-3 hour rule (what can be done about overnights, I know there's catethers but aren't those uncomfortable).

Any advice on cleaning her after she's contaminated or in contact with "contaimined materials"?

Also, how to pull the diaper from under her?

The other contention is me and Dad arguing about frequency of changes (esp if I know the blanket is a soiled but it's not obvious (big, furry and perhaps absorbent blanket esp by the time she is reached) but 1) I could take up more slack, 2) which would probably make him more keen on listening to me.
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Put a bed pad below her, either a disposable one or better a washable one like this

https://www.agingcare.com/products/northshore_champion_xd_washable_underpads-481619.htm

The better pads not only can absorb a lot and help to keep the rest of her bedding dry but they can be used to help you reposition her as well.
If her diapers aren't doing the job you might also want to explore different brands or adding a booster pad.

https://www.agingcare.com/products/because_premium_max_underwear_women-481064.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/products/northshore_booster_pads_contoured_diaper_doublers-481615.htm
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SpottyCare Jan 2023
Again, don't wanna delve into it (being euphemistic, but we're falling way way short), we do use a ton of bed pads but when we find her (like in the morning without an overnight change), she's so soaked, it reaches the front/top of her skin.

I think it's a matter of sticking to the 2-3 hour rule.

Any advice on cleaning her after she's (or the bed) "contaminated" like still using dirty linens or bed in contact with dirty linen or skin? I know it sounds bad. Or wipe her as much as one can and change the sheets as much as possible.

This is the contention with me and Dad although maybe if I take up the slack like laundry, he'd be more open to listening to me.
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I'm referring to like when she's soaked that it ends up reaching the front/top of her skin and thus touches the blanket.

That probably is be part of the 2-3 hour rule, any advice for overnights (like Dad sleeping through the night, I know there's catethers but aren't those uncomfortable, also ideally this bedridden is temporary or we can get her to a bedside commode or establish a schedule).

Other contention is me and Dad (or me being too weak willed to push back, not to mention, not taking up slack for my burnt out Dad, there's more to the story I'd rather not say), specifically, about the frequency of blanket changed and doing laundry but obviously it'd be less work if I was more on top of things.

Also, maybe an underblanket to protect the big furry blanket, I'm thinking of situations where the blanket may be a little wet or not too noticable (it's a big furry blanket, maybe absorbent esp by the way, she's reached).

And a lot of me, bullshitting here and still am (rather not go into it), if I actually helped more Dad would be less burnt out and open to hearing me.
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There's no need to be coy or euphemistic, we're all caregivers here and many of us have dealt with lots of wet and brown messes (that's just me being polite because when I was literally up to my elbows in brown I used different words than that 😉). It sounds as though you are doing fine with the clean up, you just have to deal with it as best you can. Have you already tried the boosters or any high absorbency diapers?
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SpottyCare Jan 2023
> Have you already tried the boosters or any high absorbency diapers?

So, some agency in Medicaid has been delivering, the protective briefs (and pads but we're out so we're using store bought pads for now) seem lacking satisfactory but it's probably more cause they're made with the frequent changes in mind (2-3 hr rule).

Any advice on cleaning her especially cause she's contaminated all the time (or in a bed/sheets/towel that basically is), we haven't given her a shower/bath for an extremely long time, wipe her as much as possible (add soap and water sparingly)?

The other issue is she shivers.

I think Dad (and me) should look into trying to schedule bathroom breaks.
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Are we talking feces or just urine?
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SpottyCare Jan 2023
I'm thinking of urine but I guess both really.
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I personally wouldn't get too concerned about urine if it isn't laundered immediately, it's not the big heath concern that feces is.
There are a lot of good caregiver skills videos available on YouTube, I'll link one but there are more - just search "changing adult diapers"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Js4atWSJu0
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I just read your reply to Midkid. The thing is as caregivers we are often doing the best we can and just trying to get through the day without being completely overwhelmed. Doing loads of bedding including blankets every day might be one straw too many for your dad, instead of telling him what he should be doing differently the most effective strategy would be if you step in and lighten his load in any way possible - if you buy more inexpensive, easy to wash fuzzy blankets and pitch in doing laundry he will be more apt to change them.
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"I think Dad (and me) should look into trying to schedule bathroom breaks"

What does this mean? Can she use a toilet or commode with help or is she 100% bedridden?
Sounds like you need to look up bed bath skills videos too. Or if she is mobile figure out how to get her into the shower, possibly with the help of a transfer bench.
What about hiring a bath aide through an agency?
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SpottyCare Jan 2023
I'd rather not go into the whole situation (other than I really should be taking up more slack, it's my responsibility).

Basically she's been able to get to the bathroom (at least time to time and diaper (which were store bought at this time) seemed to manage (probably not, even then there were cleanliness/hygiene issues (and she would only shower in a blue moon if even that) which I made a ruckus but never followed through on), until the last couple of months where she's been confined to bed which is ideally temporary (she was in a rehab home late last year, came home, around then, she'd leak as she walk to the restroom, late last month, she had constipation issues which led her going to ER twice (but she could only stay for so long, I'm guessing hospitals filled to brim with flu cases and tests showed nothing major wrong except I think an internal wound from constipation, so she's "resting" or bed ridden).

That said, I think with lots of help, she could use a commode (at least maybe sometime) Dad has been able to transfer to couch to change sheets (one or a few times not daily).

Again, bullshitting/more to story.

Probably going to edit cause worried about revealing too much.
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