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hasn't been bothering me, at least as long as grandson's been there, but now that may be the issue - something was said on another post about credit rating - have been told that medical bills are handled differently than other things
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My mom lived with my brother for a year, little did I know that he and his wife were using her SS check for their own bills. After they got everything paid off they said they couldn't handle her any longer. Since my oldest brother would not get involved in this situation I took her in. She has been with me for a year now and I have been trying to pay off all of her bills that my younger brother and his wife did not pay when she was living with them. I contacted the bank and Social Security to try and get some of her money back. They told me since everything was done with a money machine card there is no proof that mom did not take the money out herself. I am so upset and mad about this and I can't do anything about it. Since my health is declining I made contact with my older brother and explained to him that he will have to take mom until I can get her into a facility. He is fighting me telling me he has to work to make ends meet and works 6 days a week. My mom and dad moved close to me on my brothers suggestion and I have looked after them for 25 years. Between running them to doctor's appointments, taking care of funeral arrangements, and just the stress of constantly having to do everything for them I feel it is his time to step up and take some responsibility for mom. I am having surgery in march and have given my brother plenty of time to figure this out. I told him (did not ask him) he will have to take care of her until the Medicaid waiver papers are filled out and hopefully she will get it. I feel I have given up most of my life to watch after them and now it Is time for my husband and myself to spend the rest of our lives together. Please let me know if I am being selfish?
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It's sad. That's all I can say. You know what is best for yourself and your family. Just don't let a stranger get involved.
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You are NOT wrong. You are STRONG and WISE to take care of details ahead of time for your mother with your slacking brother. Having just come out of 10 years of caring for my Mom - with my husband and 15 before this 'phase' with no 'sister' help (I have 2 of them) I feel quite confident in my diagnosis of the situation. We found through a Senior Center TONS of information on options of senior care - perhaps you can get home nursing or caretakers IN HOUSE for your mother while you are down. There is also 'adult day care' but of course they'd have to have pickup/ drop off. If you feel strongly enough your brother and his wife committed a criminal act stealing from your Mom, perhaps a detective can look into criminal or civil court case. You're probably thinking I can't go through all that and only you can decide if it's a plus or not to pursue. Back to the urgent issue - your well being. You are being responsible and caring. Meals on wheels are another resource. God bless you with returned good health. I used to feel like being sick was a 'relief' time to get out of the rat race - it is totally stressful taking are of aging parent(s), however, you now have an ending when Medicaid comes through. Don't weaken - there is a light in sight for you and your husband!
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Debs: Darn shame! Those bad people will get there's in the end!
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