I have a question, since my elderly parent has been living with us, my daughter has been acting out more often and is demanding more attention. I have also seen an issue in school with her performance and behavior. My question is how to address this? She is very young and I don't think she fully understands why he acts the way he acts but I am really afraid that I will lose her because of my elderly alzheimer's parent's behavior.
I have 2 preteen daughters. They both understand grandma has Alz and that grandma is extremely annoying because she keeps repeating things hundreds of times. I try to limit their interaction so that my mom doesn't drive my kids nuts. It is not fair to them to have to deal with 'crazy' grandma day in and day out. They need normalcy. They don't act out or have any emotional issues. They just don't want to have to answer grandma's questions for the 500th time. And I don't expect them to either.
So it is surprising to me that your daughter is having school and behavioral problems. It sounds serious. You should at least talk to the school counselor and go from there.
Like others said, your kid's needs come FIRST. If it means less care for your parent, so be it. You can only give so much in a day before you burn yourself out. Get outside help for your parent so you can focus on your daughter.
I have many cute and some funny stories of the kids encounters. A couple days ago my mom, stage 7 and mostly bed-bound, was agitated. My 7 year old granddaughter came in her room. Mom said, "I want her." My sweet granddaughter climbed in bed with her and snuggled up by her. Mom called right down and went to sleep. The compassion my granddaughter has learned by dealing with my mom will follow her through her life. But again, she is only here 10-20 hours a week. And she has a mommy and daddy to give her and her brother their fill attention. When they are here, I have to split my attention between them and my mom. Just be sure you put your daughter first...and that she gets parts of everyday with your focus only on her.
You wrote "my elderly alzheimer's parent's behavior", and that is a red flag for the future. Maybe it is time for your parent to move into a skilled facility, to be around people of the parent's own age. If cost is a factor and your parent cannot be self-pay, Medicaid is there to help pay for room, board, and care in a nursing home.
Your child's emotional future should come first.
In short, I think you need to find another place for your father. Other people can replace a lot of the care your parent needs. That's not true of your young child.